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Melissa Putze

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GoodLuckBear14

::headesk::
::headesk::
::headesk::
..........unconscious

Try scrolling down the page or typing honeymoon registry into the search box to find the answers.  Here are a couple.  The first one should be required reading for any bride.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-need-hm-registry

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-only

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_depositagiftcom-reviews

twilight.rose

Read what GoodLuckBear posted.

The short answer, though, is you don't go about doing that. Period. It's incredibly rude to ask for money. Create a small registry (upgrades, etc.), and most people will get the hint that you would prefer cash. This way, though, there are options for those who will inevitably prefer to get you a physical gift, and you are avoiding a major etiquette faux pas.

McKenna2012

Just say no to that idea, please.

RebeccaB88

There is no polite way to beg for money.

badcorebubbles

I'll give you an actual answer to your question instead of judging your choice like everyone else probably will. We are setting up a honeymoon registry at honeyfund.com, as well as a small gift registry at a more traditional retailer. I suggest you check it out - beware that many other honeymoon registries will charge you fees. Ignore the rude responses you will get from other "ladies".

McKenna2012

Telling someone it isn't polite to ask people for money hardly makes anyone less of a lady.

SirJuliusVonHaast

I promise I'm not trying to be rude, OP, but I do think it's important for you to know that many people are offended by honeymoon registries. As far as I know, no one is offended if you create a very small registry and spread by word of mouth that you are saving for your honeymoon. 

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:bb4fbc24-4bb8-407b-af22-c974a09cd3f6Post:cc3aa2fb-34dd-40bd-af3f-8c9769089884">Re: money instead of gift registery?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll give you an actual answer to your question instead of judging your choice like everyone else probably will. We are setting up a honeymoon registry at honeyfund.com, as well as a small gift registry at a more traditional retailer. I suggest you check it out - beware that many other honeymoon registries will charge you fees. Ignore the rude responses you will get from other "ladies".
Posted by badcorebubbles[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry?  We're the rude ones and not the people doing an HR?  Well of course...because you are doing one, we must be the rude ones. 

If the vast majority of people on TK think HRs and any cash registry are the height of rudeness, there's a more than good chance that your guests are going to be offended also.

jessicabessica

Most people I know would think that asking for cash is rude.  However, most people I know would be perfectly happy to give a cash gift if they were not asked for one.  I would create a small registry with upgrades or things that you've been wanting, and people will get the message that you would prefer cash.  You can use that cash however you want.  

While some people here think that by telling someone they are buying you an experience makes it less like giving cash, it's still giving cash.  Plus, a lot of these registries just give you the cash, and you use it how you want, so it's deceptive to your guest that thinks they bought you horseback riding when you go and spend it on an upgraded room, for example.  Many sites also charge a fee, so it would be more efficient for the guest to just hand you a check.  

MNVegas

It is never appropriate to ask for cash gifts even when you try to disguise request as HM registry. People do not need to be told that cash is an appreciated gift.  Bottom line, asking for cash is just rude no matter how you try to spin it.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:bb4fbc24-4bb8-407b-af22-c974a09cd3f6Post:cc3aa2fb-34dd-40bd-af3f-8c9769089884">Re: money instead of gift registery?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll give you an actual answer to your question instead of judging your choice like everyone else probably will. We are setting up a <strong>honeymoon registry at honeyfund.com,</strong> as well as a small gift registry at a more traditional retailer. I suggest you check it out - beware that many other honeymoon registries will charge you fees. Ignore the rude responses you will get from other "ladies".
Posted by badcorebubbles[/QUOTE]

<div>This is incredibly rude.  </div><div>
</div><div>Sure, you can do this.  You can also enclose deposit slips in your invitation.  It doesn't mean it is ok.  The ladies here are actually trying to help you and OP avoid embarrassing yourself by doing something so unbelieveably distasteful in front of your family.  But if you insist on doing it, go ahead.  (But the things your friends and family are going to think and say when they see this disgusting cash grab will far outweigh anything that you found hard to read on this board.)  </div>

Milsey32

Don't shower for a week, definitely don't change your clothes (preferably use your shirt as a napkin), make sure you're not wearing shoes, and hold out a cup or hat. If you have any musical talent, then an open instrument case can also help. 

If that's not appealing to you... well, neither is asking for money. Sorry.

badcorebubbles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:bb4fbc24-4bb8-407b-af22-c974a09cd3f6Post:4bb8e80c-ecf6-4351-bb43-02f18e54e6ab">Re: money instead of gift registery?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: money instead of gift registery? : I'm sorry?  We're the rude ones and not the people doing an HR?  Well of course...because you are doing one, we must be the rude ones.  If the vast majority of people on TK think HRs and any cash registry are the height of rudeness, there's a more than good chance that your guests are going to be offended also.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

Yep many of you are the rude ones and I'll tell you why. Look at all the sarcastic and nasty responses on this thread, not to mention the other threads on this topic. Very <u>rarely</u> do I see someone politely saying to a poster "Just want to let you know that honeymoon registries are HIGHLY controversial and many people consider them rude as they believe it's asking for cash, so maybe ask around your close friends and family members to see if they think it will appropriate for your guests" or something along those lines. I have seen it, but it's rare.

My guests think honeymoon registries are great, not rude, so it all depends on the bride and her friends/family doesn't it? I just have no respect for the people who write nasty posts on this board. Obviously you are all free to do what you want, but I just wanted to point out there is a better way to give your opinion and advice. It never hurts to be as nice as possible, even if you disagree.

badcorebubbles

I also wanted to point out the way I've seen this topic handled on other message boards is much gentler by comparison, a few examples:

http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/useless-registry/5291467d2466b0f7.html
http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-advice/are-honeymoon-registries-rude/59e15e9f648ccb9d.html
http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-advice/is-having-honeymoon-registry-tacky/118ed0d7a2896f38.html
http://circle.stylemepretty.com/forums/topic/rude#post-2860
http://www.projectwedding.com/post/list/honeymoon-registry-what-are-your-thoughts-anyone-doing-this

Even Emily Post says honeymoon registries are OK but warns of the fees associated with many of them: http://emilypost.com/wedding-registries-gifts-and-thank-yous/520-tamingtheweddingregistry

I know I won't change many of your minds, and that's fine because your opinions probably reflect those of your family and friends I'm sure. I just want to make sure there is balanced information on here for those of us who have different opinions that reflect OUR family and friends.