Registry and Gift Forum

No gifts, just cash?

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Re: No gifts, just cash?

  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    And just to reiterate - if you don't want somebody like me picking out what I think is a very nice crystal vase for you, you should make at least a small registry.  Not every person will give cash.  Some will never give cash.  I will never give cash.  And while I follow a registry if there is one that has gifts I like in my price range, I won't give you cash if there is no registry at all or if the one you have is bought out.  I will pick out something off-registry for you.  Sorry, but I don't want you knowing what I spent on your gift, and there's no way to use a coupon, price match, or flash sale to give you cash.
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  • Does it really surprise anyone that JoanE wants a HR?! I mean clearly they couldn't afford her engagement ring and she is saying that they can't afford a honeymoon so why not ask for everyone else to pay for these things?! They'll probably ask the guests to pay for their own meals at the wedding too.. that's what trash does! They want the bling but can't afford it so why not be completely tacky and use their wedding as a time to be completely selfish and ask others to pay for their lives. While you're at it, have a Jack-and-Jill with a money-tree... Or better yet, have a 50-50 raffle at your shower. That way, you'll be guaranteed to get some cash.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-gifts-just-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:c911ca3a-48e6-4241-91b4-27d4741c047bPost:dd6bb760-e2aa-44b1-b6a4-87df1eab3e3b">Re: No gifts, just cash?</a>:
    [QUOTE]How about gift cards from your favorite stores? (think Target, Home depot, etc...) Technically you cam register them online or have your parents/wedding party to spread the word. People would understand, and I personally think its a better gift anyway because it's not tacky like cash yet you can still spend it however you want. Also I find some of the girls on here very rude, if you don't have anything nice to say then keep your opinions to yourself. We are all brides here who's looking for advice, no need to attack with words...
    Posted by vanillapig[/QUOTE]

    Registering for gift cards is the same as registering for cash and is just as rude.

    Also, before you start lecturing people on how to answer questions, you may want to lurk for a while.  Honest =/= Rude and nobody is helped by having really bad ideas validated.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-gifts-just-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:c911ca3a-48e6-4241-91b4-27d4741c047bPost:dd6bb760-e2aa-44b1-b6a4-87df1eab3e3b">Re: No gifts, just cash?</a>:
    [QUOTE]How about gift cards from your favorite stores? (think Target, Home depot, etc...) Technically you cam register them online or have your parents/wedding party to spread the word. People would understand, and I personally think its a better gift anyway because it's not tacky like cash yet you can still spend it however you want. Also I find some of the girls on here very rude,<strong> if you don't have anything nice to say then keep your opinions to yourself. </strong>We are all brides here who's looking for advice, no need to attack with words...
    Posted by vanillapig[/QUOTE]

    <div>It is a tremendous disservice to any bride when you just say "that's a great idea!  don't worry about being ill mannered or rude!  It is your wedding day so you can do anything you want."</div><div>
    </div><div>If something is rude and ill mannered people need to know about it.  She wasn't attacked, she just wants to be validated for bad manners and we aren't going to do that.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-gifts-just-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:c911ca3a-48e6-4241-91b4-27d4741c047bPost:3441e22e-7852-4739-9b86-afb1bb8c6799">Re: No gifts, just cash?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Does it really surprise anyone that JoanE wants a HR?! I mean clearly they couldn't afford her engagement ring and she is saying that they can't afford a honeymoon so why not ask for everyone else to pay for these things?! They'll probably ask the guests to pay for their own meals at the wedding too.. <strong>that's what trash does!</strong> They want the bling but can't afford it so why not be completely tacky and use their wedding as a time to be completely selfish and ask others to pay for their lives. While you're at it, have a Jack-and-Jill with a money-tree... Or better yet, have a 50-50 raffle at your shower. That way, you'll be guaranteed to get some cash.
    Posted by Ashleigh828[/QUOTE]

    Eeek. I obviously disagree with Joan's attitude, but I think that comment is a little unnecessary.
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    Nov182015
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    Was what Ashleigh said rude?  Absolutely.  Does it bother me?  Not a bit.  I actually find her rant a bit amusing.  I could totally picture her on the Bridezillas show yelling and name calling.  :D

    Nov182015
  • If you truly desire to follow proper etiquette and completely avoid being rude. You only have the two options already suggested. 1) small-ish registry that will support your shower(s) and 2) have your parents/BP spread your wishes by word of mouth when ASKED. 

    If I saw that a couple had a small registry I would probably take a hint and buy them a gift card to wherever they were registered (I also don't give cash - it makes me uncomfortable). Or if I asked someone, and heard from word of mouth from the BP, that the couple would really prefer cash I would also buy a gift card. 

    However, if the bride/groom came out and asked me for cash specifically (or only had a honeymoon registry) I would be going to the nearest Bed Bath & Beyond/Macy's and picking out a nice crystal vase or bowl. 

    Wedding gifts are meant to prepare you for married life, and remind you of the purchaser and your wonderful day as you grow old together. My mom still uses vases and other wedding gifts she and my dad receives and she knows exactly who bought it and always has a very happy/fond look on her face as she talks about it. I always hope that whomever I buy wedding gifts for has the same feelings about my gifts in the future. 

  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-gifts-just-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:c911ca3a-48e6-4241-91b4-27d4741c047bPost:3bb4fb45-f6a9-49da-ae2a-757aa1846735">Re: No gifts, just cash?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you truly desire to follow proper etiquette and completely avoid being rude. You only have the two options already suggested. 1) small-ish registry that will support your shower(s) and 2) have your parents/BP spread your wishes by word of mouth when ASKED.  If I saw that a couple had a small registry I would probably take a hint and buy them a gift card to wherever they were registered (I also don't give cash - it makes me uncomfortable). Or if I asked someone, and heard from word of mouth from the BP, that the couple would really prefer cash I would also buy a gift card.  However, if the bride/groom came out and asked me for cash specifically (or only had a honeymoon registry) I would be going to the nearest Bed Bath & Beyond/Macy's and picking out a nice crystal vase or bowl.  Wedding gifts are meant to prepare you for married life, and remind you of the purchaser and your wonderful day as you grow old together. My mom still uses vases and other wedding gifts she and my dad receives and she knows exactly who bought it and always has a very happy/fond look on her face as she talks about it. I always hope that whomever I buy wedding gifts for has the same feelings about my gifts in the future. 
    Posted by WalkersFurMama[/QUOTE]

    Thanks for the comments!  We have decided on a small registry.  We are not doing a HM registry. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-gifts-just-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:c911ca3a-48e6-4241-91b4-27d4741c047bPost:55cd04af-ec16-423a-b06d-671e7b502d21">Re: No gifts, just cash?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No gifts, just cash? : Apparently you haven't read my earlier posts.  Do I need to explain the whole five toaster situation again?  Here's the cliff notes.  If someone puts a toaster on a registry, I would assume that is the toaster they want.  I am not going to use that as a suggestion and go buy another model.  If everyone just used the registry as a suggestion, you'd end up with multiple toasters and embarrassed guests. Seriously folks, it's not a hard concept to grasp.  
    Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I guess in theory you could end up with multiple toasters, but likely, you wouldn't because of the way a registry works...which obviously you have no concept of.

    </div>
  • Sometimes the registry doesn't always work....So I don't know if not registering would help.

    I registered for my baby shower last year, and had two showers (one from my co-workers, and one from my family). I didn't get 1/4 of the things I asked for. Many things couldn't even be used because it was the wrong size/wrong season (short sleeves & skirts in the winter). I would have preferred the extra case of diapers(that I registered for) instead of the $50 newborn bathrobe that you got at macy's (and didn't include a gift receipt for).

    It is tough, but like others say, it can be a pain to return things, but at least they thought of you.
    Good luck!
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    @knotporscha zombie thread
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