Registry and Gift Forum
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website registry wording?

This is what I've got so far--is it in poor taste?

"Given the trans-continental nature of our lives and families, we have decided to forego a large registry. However, if you would like to give us something tangible, we will be registering at Amazon.co.uk. Details to follow shortly."





"He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."

Re: website registry wording?

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    You should not expect people to bring money to a shower.  The purpose of the shower is to "shower" you with tangible presents.  Registering at Amazon.co.uk is fine for the wedding, but most people will want to bring a tangible present to your shower, not a picture of a tangible present that they shipped to your house.  If you really don't want to deal with shipping physical objects then you need to decline the shower or do something like a recipe shower.



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    Having a small registry is a big enough hint that you would prefer cash.  You don't need to have any other language on your wedding website about not wanting gifts or preferring cash--it's unnecessary, and many guests may be put off by it (it's presumptuous to say "I know you want to buy a gift even though you don't have to, but please don't anyway"). 

    If you don't want physical gifts, you should decline the shower.  Maybe your friends can host a luncheon instead.  Showers are really for presents (not money or gift cards). 
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    Is it possible to register for only small, lightweight things here in the US that could be wrapped for the shower and easily shipped in a suitcase? 
    "He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."
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    I dont know what the thought is on these types of websites, but I'm also having a "Destination" wedding of sorts... and there are websites where people can "buy" you gifts but rather they put money into an account for you.  So for example, if you'd like to buy a new bed set that is $800 you can set it up for 8 presents of $100 or 16 of $50, etc.  that way when people "buy" you things (rather give you money) they know what you're spending it on.

    Again- I'm not sure how I feel about these- I have mixed thoughts- but it might be an option for ya'll.... 
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    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_website-registry-wording-trans-continental-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:cc49a5e2-ca77-4ec6-b4a8-16a3d346297fPost:ec1ba335-62ad-466a-b7e1-f5d699fe890f">Re: website registry wording for trans-continental couple?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it possible to register for only small, lightweight things here in the US that could be wrapped for the shower and easily shipped in a suitcase? 
    Posted by cac7777[/QUOTE]

    If there are things that you want, why not?  Towels, sheets, and other linens are lightweight.  I registered for a few cookbooks as a lower budget, stand alone gift, and while you wouldn't want to have a suitcase full of books, you could have a couple.  Flatware doesn't take up much space and isn't fragile.  Obviously that's just what you put on the registry...if someone wants to get you a porcelain rooster tea set, you should graciously accept the gift despite the transportation issue. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_website-registry-wording-trans-continental-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:cc49a5e2-ca77-4ec6-b4a8-16a3d346297fPost:8d6a903a-2265-4cb1-b956-6572eb8b7b16">Re: website registry wording for trans-continental couple?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I dont know what the thought is on these types of websites, but I'm also having a "Destination" wedding of sorts... and there are websites where people can "buy" you gifts but rather they put money into an account for you.  So for example, if you'd like to buy a new bed set that is $800 you can set it up for 8 presents of $100 or 16 of $50, etc.  that way when people "buy" you things (rather give you money) they know what you're spending it on. Again- I'm not sure how I feel about these- I have mixed thoughts- but it might be an option for ya'll.... 
    Posted by kitty02kat[/QUOTE]

    The general feeling on this board about these types of sites is that asking for cash is not polite.  (Plus, people know you will appreciate cash.)  Many of the sites charge a fee, so the person is giving you the same gift that they would give if they simply handed you a check, less the service fee.  It is also a little deceptive to have your guests "buy" items when that's not necessarily how you will spend the money.  Also, this doesn't solve the problem about what to register for for a shower, because people typically give physcial gifts at a shower. 

    My advice if you want mostly cash is to create a small registry (do you need sheets for your new bed, upgraded dishes, etc.) and people will understand that you prefer cash.  It's thoughtful to want your guests that give cash to know how much you appreciate their gift and what you'll purchase with it, but I would just say that in the TY note ("Thank you so much for your generous gift.  H and I are saving for a new home, and we look forward to furnishing our living room with your help.") instead of making that kind of website. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_website-registry-wording-trans-continental-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:cc49a5e2-ca77-4ec6-b4a8-16a3d346297fPost:8d6a903a-2265-4cb1-b956-6572eb8b7b16">Re: website registry wording for trans-continental couple?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I dont know what the thought is on these types of websites, but I'm also having a "Destination" wedding of sorts... and there are websites where people can "buy" you gifts but rather they put money into an account for you.  So for example, if you'd like to buy a new bed set that is $800 you can set it up for 8 presents of $100 or 16 of $50, etc.  that way when people "buy" you things (rather give you money) they know what you're spending it on. Again- I'm not sure how I feel about these- I have mixed thoughts- but it might be an option for ya'll.... 
    Posted by kitty02kat[/QUOTE]

    I don't have mixed feelings about it.  I think it's awful to ask someone to "buy" you 1/16 of your sheets.

    But good luck to youl.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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