My sister, who was also my MOH, threw me a bridal shower at my mother's home exactly three months before my wedding. It was not a surprise, and she went over the guest list with me before inviting anyone.
Our parents have been divorced over 20 years. Shortly after the divorce, our father married the woman with whom he was unfaithful, which is what lead to the divorce in the first place. Our stepmother has a daugther (our stepsister) who is significantly older than me (11 years). My sister and I see these people about once or twice a year, and have not had the best relationship with them due to obvious tensions.
Even though they were invited and came to my wedding, my stepmother and stepsister were not invited to my bridal shower. I could not fathom the idea of either of those women in my mother's home, but with the wedding, they are kind of like a "package deal" with my father (if you are the child of divorced parents, you probably know what I mean). A month after the shower, my sister posted pictures of it online. My stepsister saw the pictures and commented, "[Mom] and I were wondering when this would be ... looks like we missed it."
My stepmother sent me a shower gift and a lovely card anyway, with no hard feelings about the shower. She and my father also gave my husband and I a (monetary) wedding gift. My stepsister sent no gifts/cards to either the shower or the wedding. I can understand her not sending a shower gift, since she was not invited, but I still think it is rude of her (or anyone) not to get a wedding gift. The way I was raised, you always get the couple a wedding gift, no matter how small - even just a card.
My confusion: why is she mad she was not invited to the shower? If she was not planning on getting us a gift anyway, which is kind of the point of a shower, why is she upset she did not get invited? Do you think she did not get us a wedding gift because she was not invited to the shower?
My last question to you: what do I say if she brings this up, let's say, when I see her for the holidays? How should I respond if she (potentially, and knowing her, likely) asks us, "Why weren't [Mom] and I invited to your shower?"