bridal shower gift cards instead of gifts

dianewill

My son and future daughter-in-law live in Atlanta, GA and I want to have a bridal shower for my family and friends in Philadelphia, PA.  Since they will be traveling by plane to the shower, gifts would have to be shipped to them.  Is there a proper way to ask for gift cards where the couple is registered instead of gifts or maybe gift cards to go towards the honeymoon costs?  Help!

 

 

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-gift-cards-instead-of-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:cd58728e-53ba-4e98-a651-60e622fc7c85Post:50f23a80-0a94-434e-b321-6064f761e520">bridal shower gift cards instead of gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]My son and future daughter-in-law live in Atlanta, GA and I want to have a bridal shower for my family and friends in Philadelphia, PA.  Since they will be traveling by plane to the shower, gifts would have to be shipped to them.  Is there a proper way to ask for gift cards where the couple is registered instead of gifts or maybe gift cards to go towards the honeymoon costs?  Help!    
Posted by dianewill[/QUOTE]

I know you mean well and you're trying to make things easier for them, but there isn't a proper way to do this.

There's a thread on this located <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties" target="_blank">here.</a>

Basically, asking for gift cards is very similar to asking for cash, which is an etiquette faux pas. Also, a shower is where the bride is showered with gifts that are usually opened during the shower. Not just gift cards. But the main idea is that it's like requesting cash only.

SaraAndrew2010

Agree with PP.  You can't really have a shower and request that guests don't bring physical gifts, since they are the whole point of a shower.  It seems silly to be sitting around watching the bride open up gift cards.

You have 3 options that I can think of:
1. Ship gifts back to the bride's home after the shower
2. Return any bulky gifts received, get the store credit, and then have the bride repurchase them in her hometown (I've heard of several people doing this)
3. Don't host a shower if it is too much trouble to deal with physical gifts.

trix1223

Sorry, but no.  It's really very poor form to have a gc "shower".  If she doesn't want to pay to ship the gifts back, you probably shouldn't have a shower. for your FDIL

If you're going to be driving to the wedding, just keep the shower gifts at your house, and take them with you when you go down.

megandjay

Showers are for gifts, it often comes up on this board that if there are no tangible gifts to be given then the bride should decline a shower.

However I do have a friend that had a baby shower in NJ and she lived in Chicago. They had a cute poem on the invite (I can't remember what it was) that essentially said that the Mom lived far away and had to take the gifts back on a plane, so to have large gifts shipped to her home and bring a picture of the gift instead. I am not sure if this would work with your crowd, I have done something similar (bring a picture of the gift and have the actual gift shipped to her house) for big gifts for other friends showers too.

sister2groom

Agree with most of above, I would never attend a shower with a gift card since THE main "event" is to watch the bride open the gifts. I would definitely not attend a shower in which I was instructed how to spend my money (aside from very general guidelines, like kitchen items, etc.).