Gift giving question...

VioletRose519

This is a gift giving question… 
I have a friend that is getting married within the next year. She has recently registered at her first store. When I asked how it went she said her and her FI did not enjoy it one bit. When I asked about if they were going to register for China (which was not on their registry) she said her FI probably wouldn’t want to and she doesn’t know if she really wants china… but she might. 
I was online today looking at new china patterns just because I like to and I found an amazing pattern that is on sale. It is a set of 8 place settings which includes, plate, soup bowl, salad plate, cup, and saucer. It is a pattern that I think her and her FI would love and the price is amazing.  
My question:
Would it be weird for me to purchase this collection for her even though China is not on her registry? I am planning on buying it from a store where it would be easy for her to return.

KplusE2012

I think it's great of you to want to surprise her with something she might like, but maybe they really don't want it. Some people don't entertain or even cook a lot, so it won't be of use to them. I don't know if that's the case with your friend, but I think it's better to go with something off her registry. I know that my FI and I will appreciate anything that is given to us, but also hope we receive the things we picked out ourselves, just because it matches our style and our needs. Hope this helps!

VioletRose519

Sorry I guess I should have explained it al little better...

The main reason why her and her FI mostly likely will not be putting China on their registry is because they are having a smaller wedding and don't want to seem gift grabby.

VioletRose519

But thank you for the advice... I will see if I can think up a way of showing her and her FI the pattern without giving away the surprise

GretchenLaRoux

This is not unlike any other gift-giving scenario, really. You choose something you think the couple would like and give it to them. If they don't like it, they can return it and get something else instead. No big deal. If you want to gift them the china, do it!

I'd be pleased as punch to receive 8 place settings of china whether I registered for it or not. Of course, I absolutely love china, so there's that.

jessicabessica

I think it sounds like a nice gift.  Get a gift receipt if you can, and don't be offended if they return it (which it sounds like you wouldn't be).  

KatePlusNate04

I think you have the right intention and you are really trying to surprise her with something you think they'll like. However, I think picking out a china pattern is risky seeing as how they may not even want china. I know you said they didn't register for it b/c they didn't want to seem gift grabby (if she brings this up again, let them know it's OK to register for things in a variety of price points--sometimes groups like to go in together on bigger items).

I know H and I aren't the china kind of people. I would feel bad returning such an expensive/nice gift. Plus returns are kind of a PITA depending on the store. If it were me, I would personally stick with things on their registry so you know they will like it.

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-giving-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:cf2f6a31-e775-44c3-b180-3518733d1a26Post:bf423080-6bf2-4117-a70a-6af7bf8761bb">Re: Gift giving question...</a>:
[QUOTE] I know H and I aren't the china kind of people. I would feel bad returning such an expensive/nice gift. Plus returns are kind of a PITA depending on the store. If it were me, I would personally stick with things on their registry so you know they will like it.
Posted by KatePlusNate04[/QUOTE]

That's the one thing that might make me hesitate. Since it seems they feel awkward accepting expensive gifts, they would probably also feel awkward returning something beautiful and expensive if they don't like it/don't think they'll use it. It would make me feel weird to exchange something so nice, especially from a close friend, and get cash or store credit.

They would probably end up keeping it because they would feel bad doing anything else, and it might collect dust if it turns out they didn't want china after all.