Registry and Gift Forum

Really Strange Situation, Need Advice

So like the title says I have a strange set up going on so let me try to lay it out. 

We are doing a destination wedding with only immeditate family...14 people including us.  A few weeks later we are doing an at home reception with 80-100 guests. 

We have lived together for several years and this is well known among our guests.

Now for the extra complication......

I work at a kitchenwares store.  While there are plenty of things I would like to have/upgrade for the kitchen, I do not want to register for them because the employee discount is very good.  I feel like if I register for something at William Sonoma that I could get from my work for way cheaper our guests will just be wasting money.  And no, my work does not have a registry yet :(.  What do I do?  I feel like it will look strange if people see a registry filled only with sheets, towels, and other items my work does not sell. 

And to top it off, money is the main goal anyay (yes, I know not to ask or advertise that).  So should i register for a small amount of home only items or what??

Also, how does the fact that we are doing a destination wedding and then an at home recepiton effect things??

Thanks for your help!

Re: Really Strange Situation, Need Advice

  • Is everyone invited to the at-home reception also invited to the DW?  If not, I wouldn't expect much in the way of gifts.  

    I think it's fine to make a small registry of sheets, towels, etc.  If people know you work in a kitchen store, they will probably assume that you already have all of the kitchen items you need.  A small registry signals to your guests that you don't need much -- some people use this as a cue to give money.  It's perfectly acceptable.
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  • Make a small registry of whatever it is that you need.  It's likely that people that are invited to the AHR only will want to give gifts, but really gifts are traditionally given by wedding guests, not reception-only guests.  I would keep the registry pretty small so that those guests that do look it up don't think you're expecting gifts from your larger AHR guestlist.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    You make a small registry at another store.  We had ours at BBB (20 things on it total).

    We also did a private destination wedding (12 people) followed by an AHR (125 people).  We recieved mostly cash at the AHR, but a few gifts from the registry.

    Use the money for things you want with your discount.

    Ta-DA.

    EDIT: Avion - I also expected no gifts at our AHR.  I was actually really uncomfortable with having a registry at all and my mother pushed to have a birdcage out.  I was like "No!!  No one is going to get us gifts."

    Yeah.  I was really REALLY wrong.

    I'm not saying the OP should expect gifts and should go into this with eyes open, but 95% of our AHR list gave a gift.  I was really shocked.
  • I have only been to one AHR after a private DW before, but FI and I did bring a gift and judging by the gift table and card box, so did everyone else. In fact, I had wanted to buy off their registry, but it was all bought out so I gave cash instead.

    I don't think it would be strange to make a registry without kitchen items. Every couple makes their registry based on what they need. My mom brought to my attention that we didn't have any pots and pans on our registry, and we hadn't even noticed because we don't need those items, KWIM?
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  • OK, so I don’t think this is really that strange of a situation. If you don’t want things at another store, don’t register. It’s always best to at least register for a few things, like the things that your store doesn’t carry. The rest will likely give you cash anyway. Don’t overthink it. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_really-strange-situation-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:d6488820-a0f4-4b32-9e81-759084df23b0Post:b344aaf9-1ead-4a57-a66a-ac88551a7758">Re: Really Strange Situation, Need Advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]You make a small registry at another store.  We had ours at BBB (20 things on it total). We also did a private destination wedding (12 people) followed by an AHR (125 people).  We recieved mostly cash at the AHR, but a few gifts from the registry. Use the money for things you want with your discount. Ta-DA. EDIT: Avion -<strong>I also expected no gifts at our AHR.  I was actually really uncomfortable with having a registry at all and my mother pushed to have a birdcage out.  I was like "No!!  No one is going to get us gifts." Yeah.  I was really REALLY wrong. I'm not saying the OP should expect gifts and should go into this with eyes open, but 95% of our AHR list gave a gift.  I was really shocked.
    </strong>Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    Same here.  ILs hosted a second reception on the other side of the country and of all the people they invited (and who invited themselves) only a handful had been invited to the wedding itself.  Not a single one came empty handed or without having a gift shipped to our house.  When we got home, our front door was actually barricaded with boxes from BB&B and Macy's.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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