Things you shouldn't register for...

auroraD

If you really don't need anything at all you can have people donate  to a charity you both believe in. If you're loaded, there's alot of other people out there that are struggling and could use help. I think it's a nice gesture that everyone would appreciate. Or you could always say "your presence is present enough".

I'm wondering if the people who had baby items on their registry somehow accidentally merged a baby shower registry with their wedding registry?  Maybe they were just technilogically challenged? Or maybe since they never had a baby shower and actually needed these things they included them? Really though, it sounds like a mistake.

I think what's appropriate depends on your family and friends. A lot of people are struggling and if they need help paying for their honeymoon or even gift certificates for food, why begrudge it?  The spirit of giving shouldn't be conditional.

renees3

I don't see the problem with a honeymoon registry either. We own our own home and have verything we need. I would rather enjoy a vacation with my new husband than have a bunch of stuff that I felt I "should" register for. And it depends on your family and friends too. My wedding is Very laid back and casual. I don't expect anyone to pay for our whole honeymoon or something but there's options on there to help with parts. I don't like the mindset people sometimes get about weddings, all thes rules to follow and being all proper. I'm not like that in day to day life so why should I be when it comes to my wedding?

clblake2

One thing that I believe has to be kept in mind is where the couple is in their lives. If this is a second marriage or a couple that has lived together for some time, they may have most of the household items they need, and registering for another set of pots and pans or another set of linens may just be inappropriate. I don't see a problem if a couple makes arrangements with a travel agency and aside from whatever items they may be registered for, people have the option of putting money toward a honeymoon. I mean, why ask for things if you don't need it? If you have been an established couple living together, it may be far more practical to get the honeymoon somewhat covered rather than be in debt and then have a house full of things you don't need or want.

kara.lower

Quebeers, that is a lovely way of putting it. In fact, my FI and I noticed how big of a trend a Honeymoon Registry was becoming (their are millions of sites to do this, so it very acceptable) and asked friends and family what they thought of the idea and everyone loved it and said they would love to contribute to a vacation that would be extra special for us. Also, Honeymoon registries can have everything from low priced offerings to high priced offerings so no one has to spend more than they want to.

So, again, all of this depends on your culture, your social setting, and your own traditions. I think your friends and family know you pretty well so if a Wii is on your list or something like that than I would hope your friends and family would know that that is something that you enjoy doing together. If they don't, they won't get it. Simple.

chocoholic4life

I agree, I think registering for a honeymoon can be a great idea if done tastefully.  My sister did the same thing where you can register for parts of the trip, like a private dinner on the terrace or one night at the hotel.  I hadn't been to many weddings before hers, and I thought it was the cutest thing I had ever seen on a registry.  I felt like I was providing an important part of the start of the new couple's life together, which is why guests bother with wedding gifts at all.  If a honeymoon is important to you and you can't go on one without cutting guests, it's definitely a good idea to register for one. 

Rans07

Ok as I continue to read posts... who really cares what anyone registers for? Who's to say whats wrong or right for any person other than themselves. I could honestly care less if my guests dislike what I registered for. Its not about them. 

equette2000

I feel like the only rule here is that you should be registering for things you will use TOGETHER on at least a semi-regular basis (you won't be using the fine china every day, but you'll use it semi-regularly for holidays at least). 

I think a lot of guests, while needing a range of price points, also want a range of ways to interact with the bride/groom through their gifts.  Some people (probably parents/grandparents generation) want to help you set up your home with dishes and yes, maybe even furniture.  Others, like college friends, want a fun way to help you enjoy your lives together as a couple (Wii games you'll play together, camping equipment, honeymoon excursions).

I think the point is to put things you would enjoy.  If you don't get it, you don't get it, and then you can make the choice of whether to buy it yourself (with that handy discount) or not.  The point is, if someone is using a registry, they want to know what you WANT.  There's no rule they have to buy any particular item, or even that they have to give from your registry.

NHill1283

I did not want to be one of those brides who registers for all the expensive things because she knows people will probably buy them.  I even sacrificed on my China from Bed, Bath, & Beyond and went with a much cheaper set.  I could not see asking my family and friends to pay $80 and up for a 5-piece set up dishes...not to mention, how often would I really be using them?!?!  Definitely not worth the money!  As far as the idea of registering for your honeymoon, my cousin did that and actually made out pretty well.  I like this idea mostly becase my FI and I have been living together for over 2 years and we have everything we need, so our registry is short.  People tend to like actually giving some sort of "gift" rather than a gift card or money. 

KittyMamma

Well My Fi and I are going to Register for the simple stuff. ( mainly i am going to be doing the registry ) But I am planning on a few Frivolous Items . By the time off our wedding we will have been together for over 6 years (Living together for 1.5) But I certainly am not Putting a bed or honeymoon on the list  but I will be using various places  for Price Points . BB&B , Walmart , Best Buy (Frivolous Items) And maybe one more then all of the price points are covered. Oh I will admit that there are a lot of things that I would love to have , but , I need to consider the space issue in our Apartment. Plus I really don't think it is fair  to ask for something that we may not be able to use right away  and have to put in the basement.Plus All of you  asking for  Honeymoons and Furniture , think of the economy .Do you think it is fair of you to ask for "Big Ticket " Items ? How do you know if your friends and relatives can afford those things ? Maybe they are just  scraping by them selves ! Think about things Before you register!!!

Friends Of ours got Married  In August , and though they had some Big ticket items on their registry , they  wound Up with a Lot of Gift Cards , I made them a Hand Etched Wine Set. When We Did the gift opening at the reception , Our Newly Married Friends burst into Tears  when they Saw that Set. And they Cried even harder when they Learned It was Hand Etched .

Moral. Don't whine Over what you didn't or Not getting , but be greatful  that someone cared to show up at all

Amelia24

Honestly, I think you should be able to put whatever you want on a registry... That is what it is for... things you want and need... I put everything from hangers to movies to gaming computers and flat screens on there... So I have every price-point covered and it is up to the guests what they want to buy... I know I'm not going to get the gaming computer or flat screen (already have 2 anyways)... but I did it because that is what I want... if someone gets offended by what you want... well... sorry... they don't have to buy what they can't afford... and if you put cash... that's fine too because you may have everything you need and at least this way your guests aren't waisting their money... Why so many rules in these things? sheesh...

surf&turfcouple

Registering is a very personal process, I think.  If you've lived together before hand, of course you might think registering for furniture is out of line.  But if you haven't and you need certain pieces, register for them!  Just make sure your registry is varied in pricing (ie.  things under $20, under $50, under $100 etc.) so that you guests have plenty of options.  Pricier items may be bought as group gifts, which is always cool.  So if you happen to register for a bed, just remember that if you get one at all, it's probably a multiple buyer gift!

As for honeymoon, photography, cash, debt funds:  I think it depends on your guests.  If you're having a large wedding with tons of people you're not super close too, these things might be inappropriate.  If it's an intimate wedding with close family and friends, these things are not so inappropriate because most likely they already know what you need, money-wise.

It's all relative, not really rule based.  IMO, the rule is Vary Your Price Range!  Though, at the end of the day, I wouldn't register for clothes or things like that.  Household items, including furniture, or money toward funding is fine as long as you take into consideration who your guests are!

cjnlt

i was thinking about doing the same thing.  my FI and purchased our home about a year ago and need nothing for our home.  but i wasn't sure if the whole honeymoon registry was tacky.

pisci1kn

I am not understanding why a Honeymoon is an inappropriate registry item?  Especially if you do register for more traditional items (pots, pans, dishes) so guests have the choice.  Personally I know my friends would rather buy us a round of drinks at the swim up bar than a pan.  We were throwing around the idea of registering at Marriott for their Honeymoon gift card (you select activities guests can purchase if they would like and the couple gets a "gift card" with the gifts on it to use at Marriott hotels).  I think people would rather pick out fun things for the couple to do on the Honeymoon than give them a fist full of cash... maybe its just me, but I don't think its tacky - its kind of fun because its something different!

SammaJamma

Registries should be thought of as options. The couple is probably going to overshoot things, for example a $165 butter dish. If they don't get it, they don't get it and honestly it's not going to break their relationship with each other or with their friends or family. When it comes down to it, it's a butter dish and I'm fairly positive, they'll get over it. However, if someone buys the butter dish, good on 'em for getting what they wanted.

Registries are a great way for couples to get together for a moment and focus on the things they want/need. If it ends up they don't get the things they put on the registry, that's a great way for them to save up for the stuff they really wanted, like a full bedroom set.

Personally, I think too many people get up tight about gift registries, they are just options and no one says you have to stick to the registry. Get what you want, what you can afford and everyone's happy with that.

aoifed523

Some places give you a discount on items left on your registry after your wedding so someone might register for a large ticket item, take advantage of the discount, and use any gift cards and cash gifts toward purchasing something they really want and/or need.

masonwalker

In response to:  If you can't afford a vacation than you don't take one, which is all a honeymoon really is. I cannot afford a honeymoon so I won't be going on one, I also have been on my own and have "pots and pans" but you could always upgrade some items or not register at all. You could also cut back in other areas in order to afford both w/o cutting the guest list. A cake and punch reception is very affordable

The honeymoon is the best part of getting married!!!
I love the idea of registering for a honeymoon, why not?
**question is rhetorical, I have heard both sides of this argument already, just saying.. live and let live.. hopefully most if not all of your guests love you and want you to have something that makes you happy whether that be a food processor or an extra day on your honeymoon!  

bubbleyfrog

I put hot pink duct tape and frappuccinos on my registry, was that bad? I just thougt it would give people a chuckle when they were shopping. I appreciate dorky little things and it might inspire them to throw something in just for kicks and giggles.

I don't see what the problem is with most this stuff, but I'm a really laid back person. I don't really think the purchaser should be the judge of what a couple will appreciate together. Besides, I also put a sewing machine on there. Very traditional gift, but I guarantee my future husband will never look at the thing. But he will watch Wall-E with me and my son!

Also, I put some family games on there, since I have an eight year old. I'm sure people think that's cheesy, too, but I figured he's part of the family, too!

And EVERYONE deserves a honeymoon, so if that's how you get one, I say go for it!

StacyJenniges

I think there are certain things, Like Toilet Paper, Cleaning products, and stuff like that you shouldn't registar for but otherwise I don't think much else is off limits.  I think that having people know what stores you planning on by things like funature and big stuff from is a good idea then people know where to get you gift cards if that's what you like to do. 

Also with places like Target where you get 10% off of what's left on your registry sometimes you registar for some of the big things just so you can get the dicount when you buy it. 

LenaN

It's your day, register for what you want, people will get you what they want. If anyone is offended by your registry that reads into their own insecurities.

ddundon

This is my take on the whole bit.  You should have a range of cost iteams.  Perhaps the butter dish was put on there not for their friends to buy but maybe the elder family members who would perfer to buy them china rather then a toaster oven.  I know for our registry we will be doing 3 with the expensive stuff, not really for our friends to purchase that for us but for my extended family if they chose to.  We are doing Macy's = the more expensive things,  Bed Bath and Beyond for the every day things that we aren't afraid to damage and Taget for the fun things in various prices because his family has multiple ages for his cousins so there will be something for everyone.  My "thing" is it is the one time in your life you get to go to a store and zap anything you think would be fun to have, with the hope you might get it.  For me, I think it is important that a registry is merely a suggestion.  It isn't garanteed that is what you will get!  So ask for what you want!!!

jlwoolery1

We recently registered at bed bath and beyond. My family and the lady helping us all agreed that we had one of the most well rounded registries they had ever seen. We literally had something in every persons price range. We did register for that $600 pot and pan set, but we all so registered for each one individually. DO we expect on of our friends to be able to afford that? probably not. Do we expect on of our extremely well off family members to? its a very good possibility. I think the worst thing i have ever seen people register for was alcohol. And it wasn't like, high end, once in  a life time we will try this. It was JAck daniels. I;m pretty sure that was the worst I've seen

tracyls100111

@jcam u are hilarious

I think the rules change a bit if you are an older couple with all the basics. Me & my FI registered for our Honeymoon. It is for us and it is something we need. The best part is that people can contribute what they can afford and not worry about it not being something we appreciate.

stacyphillip08

Oh my gosh I am a new knottie and I am loving this. I have all the girls in my office laughing. Bacis thought between us girls here is do not put anything on your list you wouldnt want your Grandma to buy you.
We already have two kids and have been living together for two years so we are also including a few "Family" oriented items like a bocce ball set for the beach and we love to go camping so we are adding some items for that. Its stuff that we have an interst in as a family and those who know us best, the ones we are inviting to our wedding, will understand our registry.

Kam2186

Some of the things people register for are ridiculous! I read some where of a couple who put deposit slips for their checking account with their invitations! We haven't registered yet, I was thinking of registering at 2 places but some people say 3 or even more. Any suggestions?

dhahn1972

My question is: we aren't registering.  We were both married before and are combining everything into one household.  People have felt offended because we don't have a registry, but in reality we have everything we need. 

As far as what to register for, you register for what you need.  Obviously, not everyone will be able to get the higher ticket items, so be happy with what you get.

ohiolanger

We will have a honeymoon/vacation registry with our friend who's a travel agent along with a small registry.  We'll be dating 5+yrs when we get married and we both lived in own houses almost 7 years.  We have 2 of everything and there's only a few things that need upgraded.  Plus we are attending a friend's destination wedding 6 months after our wedding.  We can use the money to go on that vacation. 

smiley143143

i rearly post on these things when all it is is bickering back and forth..but i will be registering for my honeymoon..but thats not it!..you people are sooo Fn rude its not even funny..your lives must really suck that you have nothing better to do then rant about others..i agree with alot of etiquette but now adays people are more laid back..except a few of you!! grow up and worry about your own!

susanlondono

I think you should have a range of different priced items, this way everyone invited will find something within their own budget.  You should be able to determine what's appropriate based on your circle.

masonwalker

In response to: Huh, I always thought the best part of getting married was pledging to be with the person you love for the rest of your life

LOL.. yes that too   But seriously, marrying the love of your life and then going on an amazing honeymoon and starting out your life together just the two of you, no one else, somewhere awesome and sunny, best part definitely  

BruningGarcia

I agree that there needs to be a range to a registry, but if they are registering for it, then I would say that they truly WANT what they register for.  Having just finished my registry myself, I know that there are fine pieces of china that I would love to get.  For example: my teapot is $200 on the registry.  If I get that as a gift from someone, I'd be thrilled because it's what I WANT.  I feel that if my guests don't want to purchase what's on my registry, then they can give cash.  Don't feel like just giving a butter dish isn't enough, think of it as a nice investment to their china that they can be proud of.  And DO give them the butter dish, too many people would pass it up.  Trust me, they WANT it. 

General rule of thumb for giving gifts is spend on them what they are spending on you (or you and your guests) to attend the wedding.