Registering locally but living abroad

tonksandlupin

Hi ladies. I have a pretty unusual situation that makes registering complicated. My wedding will be in my native state of Alabama, but my FI and I will be living in Italy (he's Italian). I wasn't going to register because of the hassle of shipping stuff to Italy, but a lot of folks kind of pushed it so I did a local registry at a big box store for stuff that can be easily shipped and then an online registry with only items that the seller ships to Italy for a reasonable cost.

There still isn't much in either the registry though, because the household items we really need are too heavy/expensive to ship.

Honestly cash would be the best option, but I feel it's super rude to ask for cash or gift cards, so there's no way I'm doing that. My family will be gently explaining the situation when people ask what to get us, so hopefully that will lead some guests in the right direction.

 I was wondering what to put on my wedding website to hint that, while we absolutely appreciate anything we're given, big bulky items just won't make it back to Italy. Any suggestions? Do you think people will see the small registry and get the hint that we really just need cash?

Fancypantsamy

Don't bother putting anything on your website - it will come off as rude, and it's unneccessary. My Brother in Law got married in Canada though he and his wife live in Korea. There were 75ish people at their wedding, and the only non-cash gifts they received was new luggage (they just left the old luggage in Canada - no major shipping costs there). The new luggage was only bought because two aunts were upset about not giving a box gift and liked the idea when it was presented to them by my MIL. 

The couple told no one except my husband and his parents that they would prefer cash - we only spread the word when asked, and many people didn't ask and just stuck money in an envelope. People are aware of your situation and can figure out how to give without you holding their hand and guiding them to it.

I had my wedding in Upstate New York and I live in Canada (both areas are close to the border) and I did register for quite a few things - many people still just gave cash because they were concerned I might get stuck paying duty if I got too many boxed gifts. 

My BFF is getting married here and living in Atlanta. She and her fiance have a small regisry at C&B with a few inexpensive things and a new couch. I'm giving them a gift card so they can put it towards the couch, because I can look at their registry and situation and come to a logical conclusion myself.

The only thing I would suggest is on your website maybe making mention of your new life in Italy with your husband so that some of your far flung relatives who might not realize you are moving  away will see that and think "I should give cash"

hoffse

OP, I feel you on this - in Alabama it's close to sacrilege to not register (I live there now too, despite what my icon says).

I would put something on your wedding website about how excited you are to move to Italy.  I virtually never give cash, but in your situation I would.  It's really the best you can do without being rude.

tonksandlupin

I know it's been a few days since I posted this, I just wanted to thank you ladies for the advice. Super helpful and appreciated!