Registry and Gift Forum

Registry Announcements

I'm sure this question has been asked zillions of time by zillions of brides, but here it goes again...

How do I announce my registry?  I assume it is not appropriate to place an announcemnet card in with the formal invitation, so can I place one in with the save-the-date?  I don't want to send via e-mail or website because I have a lot of older family members without e-mail.  I'm thinking including it with the save-the-date is the best bet, just don't want to be tacky :)

Thanks!
Amy

Re: Registry Announcements

  • It seems 99% of people on these boards say including any registry info with any type of invitation or save the date is a huge faux pas. That being said, my husband and I eloped and are having a large reception for all of our family and friends who were not with us at the time of the wedding. Our approach has been very informal. We sent out invitations to the reception and included an insert card with directions to the location on one side and registry information on the opposite side. We decided to skip the response cards and instead allow people to email or call with their responses. So far, this has worked out well and I didn't realize that this was inappropriate until I started reading these message boards today. ALSO, a friend of mine recently got married, and what they did was list their wedding website on the invitation, under the directions. It was so easy to miss! They were married last weekend, and as of my check a few minutes ago, only 6 items out of about 100 were purchased. I think if you want people to purchase items off of your registry, it needs to be advertised somewhere. If your family and friends are all across the country, and are of varying age groups, I think it's definitely easier to just spell out the registry info. We've already received several gifts and I don't feel bad for being what a lot of people apparently consider "tacky". In the end, it's your day, and who cares what people think!
  • You don't.... people will figure it out.  It seriously takes two minutes to find someone's registry by checking a few of the mega stores (Target, BBB, Macys, Kohls, etc.)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:7799c458-24a2-4551-8fa9-c758dc49b2a0">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]It seems 99% of people on these boards say including any registry info with any type of invitation or save the date is a huge faux pas. That being said, my husband and I eloped and are having a large reception for all of our family and friends who were not with us at the time of the wedding. Our approach has been very informal. We sent out invitations to the reception and included an insert card with directions to the location on one side and registry information on the opposite side. We decided to skip the response cards and instead allow people to email or call with their responses. So far, this has worked out well and I didn't realize that this was inappropriate until I started reading these message boards today. ALSO, a friend of mine recently got married, and what they did was list their wedding website on the invitation, under the directions. It was so easy to miss! They were married last weekend, and as of my check a few minutes ago, only 6 items out of about 100 were purchased. I think if you want people to purchase items off of your registry, it needs to be advertised somewhere. If your family and friends are all across the country, and are of varying age groups, I think it's definitely easier to just spell out the registry info. We've already received several gifts and I don't feel bad for being what a lot of people apparently consider "tacky". In the end, it's your day, and who cares what people think!
    Posted by themanda215[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This isn't about formality - it's about etiquette.  No matter how small or big, you shouldn't advertise your registry.  They should wish to get you a gift, not feel like it's being pushed upon them.  Any mentioning of a registry implies that you expect a gift, which is what makes it rude.  Yes, it's okay to have on a web site but should not be included with any type of invite minus the bridal shower.

    </div>
  • You shouldn't 'announce' registry or gift info in any way.  Your guests are under no obligation to give you a gift, and mentioning gifts without being asked about them will make just make you look greedy.

    You can put a link to your registry on your wedding website, it you have one. 

    Other than that, wait until they ask you.  It's fine to mention where you are registered to your parents and bridal party in case anyone asks them. 

    Most people will ask you or someone involved in the wedding (especially the older folks).  Others will just start looking for your registry at the places where people commonly register (Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Macy's).

    image
    murrayed
  • Eh, these weren't the answers i was looking for.  I guess its not a big deal not to send out "announcements."  I just have been getting asked a lot already and I've done the knot 360 thing and I just felt it would be easier to give the info out on paper.

    So its okay to include these "announcements" in bridal shower invites?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:10ab27f7-ee34-4360-b821-a4bdb9851ff5">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]Eh, these weren't the answers i was looking for.  I guess its not a big deal not to send out "announcements."  I just have been getting asked a lot already and I've done the knot 360 thing and I just felt it would be easier to give the info out on paper. So its okay to include these "announcements" in bridal shower invites?
    Posted by cricky513[/QUOTE]

    The hostess of your shower can include it in the shower invite. But that's it.

    Really...not okay to put it in any other place other than the website. Just do that, and send a link to your website with your save the dates. Your parents should tell the older relatives who don't have computer access if they're asked.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Yikes. I hope our marriage isn't doomed since we included registry info with the invitations to the reception.
  • Traditionally (as in before the internet), registry info was given by word of mouth, so it's safe to assume that older guests, who have probably been to many, many weddings over the years, will know to ask.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:dced830c-6315-4511-b6f0-949ddf60a243">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only type of invite at all where it is okay to include registry info is shower invitations.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    This
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • It's rude to announce how people can buy you gifts.

    The first response aside, most people can figure out a registry because they're very common. They will ask you, check at likely stores, do a google search, or ask your family or wedding party. That's how it's traditionally done.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:25e4a8d2-716c-465c-9876-64364182b9e1">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yikes. I hope our marriage isn't doomed since we included registry info with the invitations to the reception.
    Posted by themanda215[/QUOTE]

    Way to be overdramatic.
    my read shelf:
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    40/112

    Photobucket
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:7799c458-24a2-4551-8fa9-c758dc49b2a0">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]It seems 99% of people on these boards say including any registry info with any type of invitation or save the date is a huge faux pas. That being said, my husband and I eloped and are having a large reception for all of our family and friends who were not with us at the time of the wedding. Our approach has been very informal. We sent out invitations to the reception and included an insert card with directions to the location on one side and registry information on the opposite side. We decided to skip the response cards and instead allow people to email or call with their responses. So far, this has worked out well and I didn't realize that this was inappropriate until I started reading these message boards today. ALSO, a friend of mine recently got married, and what they did was list their wedding website on the invitation, under the directions. It was so easy to miss! They were married last weekend, and as of my check a few minutes ago, only 6 items out of about 100 were purchased. I think if you want people to purchase items off of your registry, it needs to be advertised somewhere. If your family and friends are all across the country, and are of varying age groups, I think it's definitely easier to just spell out the registry info. We've already received several gifts and I don't feel bad for being what a lot of people apparently consider "tacky". In the end, it's your day, and who cares what people think!
    Posted by themanda215[/QUOTE]
    I just love it when someone writes about how they did something rude, so that makes it okay.  <div>
    </div><div>I honestly don't understand how any bride who is not familiar with wedding etiquette decides to plan a marriage without cracking open an etiquette book.  Seriously, you can borrow one from the library.  I've only been to 1 formal wedding in my life.  So, I knew I had a lot to learn.  No registry info with wedding invites is etiquette 101.  </div>
  • Well, as we decided to get married while on vacation, we actually planned the wedding in 1 day. So that means no wedding website, no save the date, no bridal shower, etc. I've attended weddings and other functions in the past in which people traditionally register for gifts and have not been offended in any way to find registry information included with an invitation. When you're invited to a wedding, you get someone a gift. I've found it quite helpful to know the registry information, so I know what to buy.

     I love how we dance around what is proper etiquette and what is not, when we all know that at the end of the day, we just want to receive the items we've selected from our registry, and if we are attending a wedding, we want to give the couple a gift that they truly want....no matter how we find out about it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:04a8fc3a-66b8-4324-a3e5-8150ff1ff7c0">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, as we decided to get married while on vacation, we actually planned the wedding in 1 day. So that means no wedding website, no save the date, no bridal shower, etc. I've attended weddings and other functions in the past in which people traditionally register for gifts and have not been offended in any way to find registry information included with an invitation. When you're invited to a wedding, you get someone a gift. I've found it quite helpful to know the registry information, so I know what to buy.  I love how we dance around what is proper etiquette and what is not, when we all know that at the end of the day, we just want to receive the items we've selected from our registry, and if we are attending a wedding, we want to give the couple a gift that they truly want....no matter how we find out about it.
    Posted by themanda215[/QUOTE]
    Actually, since your guests are only attending the reception, they are not obligated to bring gifts.  So, registering for a reception is kind of rude and looks gift grabby.  At least according to Emily Post.  <div>
    </div><div>I'm not planning my wedding with the intention of getting gifts.  My main concern is marrying my FI and having a nice celebration.  </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:90c199f7-cf5f-402a-a799-21b0e959f003">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry Announcements : Actually, since your guests are only attending the reception, they are not obligated to bring gifts.  So, registering for a reception is kind of rude and looks gift grabby.  At least according to Emily Post.   I'm not planning my wedding with the intention of getting gifts.  My main concern is marrying my FI and having a nice celebration.  
    Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

    Honey, things have changed exponentially since good ol' Emily's death in the 60's. But if we're following antiquated advice, let's remember the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." And I personally have never been offended by learning where someone is registered in print, and seeing as how none of the guests I've invited to my reception are stuffy or hung up on dated traditions, none of them have seemed to mind either. But I wish you luck in returning unwanted gifts in the weeks and months after your wedding!
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:87b702dd-6b46-4c57-b4c6-0a02a2d7eb94">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry Announcements : Honey, things have changed exponentially since good ol' Emily's death in the 60's. But if we're following antiquated advice, let's remember the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." And I personally have never been offended by learning where someone is registered in print, and seeing as how none of the guests I've invited to my reception are stuffy or hung up on dated traditions, none of them have seemed to mind either. But I wish you luck in returning unwanted gifts in the weeks and months after your wedding!
    Posted by themanda215[/QUOTE]

    How to treat people hasn't changed.  You're confusing etiquette and tradition.

    Sending people a list of where you're registered is against etiquette because it implies that you'd like a present.  Please stop saying that etiquette is antiquated just because it isn't 1960.  It (etiquette) isn't.  The way to treat others hasn't gone out of style. 
  • edited September 2010
    [QUOTE]Yikes. I hope our marriage isn't doomed since we included registry info with the invitations to the reception.
    Posted by themanda215[/QUOTE]
    <a href="http://moviecultists.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/oscar-statue.jpg" title="oscar-statue"><img src="http://moviecultists.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/oscar-statue.jpg" alt="oscar-statue" title="oscar-statue" width="140" height="190" /></a>
  • Do not include registry information with your invitations. If people are not internet friendly, then they usually go to the family and ask where the couple are registered.

  • Why is it that everyone writing on these boards are so effing rude to everyone else when seeking advice.  Some of you other brides make me want to punch you square in the face.

    The purpose of these boards is to seek advice so YES, you're going to come across posts were answers that might seem so OBVIOUS to you but may not be so obvious to someone else.  Way to go making other brides feel stupid.

    Regarding the question on registry announcements- you're not going to please everyone, that is a given.  Wouldn't worry about what everyone else is going to think, say or do- worry more about whether your dress fits, your rings fit and if you're going to need an umbrella, snow boots or sunscreen on your wedding day.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You don't announce your registry.  That's just asking for gifts.  Would you send your grandmother a list of things you'd like for Christmas without being asked?  

    Asking for gifts has always been and will always be rude.  The fact that some people do it doesn't mean it is ok, it just means some people are ok with being rude and greedy.  
  • edited September 2010
    [QUOTE]Why is it that everyone writing on these boards are so effing rude to everyone else when seeking advice.  Some of you other brides make me want to punch you square in the face. The purpose of these boards is to seek advice so YES, you're going to come across posts were answers that might seem so OBVIOUS to you but may not be so obvious to someone else.  Way to go making other brides feel stupid. Regarding the question on registry announcements- you're not going to please everyone, that is a given.  Wouldn't worry about what everyone else is going to think, say or do- worry more about whether your dress fits, your rings fit and if you're going to need an umbrella, snow boots or sunscreen on your wedding day.
    Posted by puCCake[/QUOTE]
    No one was being rude. I think you must have a very broad definition of the word if you think any of this is rude.

    But since we're talking about it, what's with wanting to punch people in the face?
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would be offended to receive registry info inside a wedding invitation.  And my gift would reflect how I feel. 

    Seriously, you can do whatever you want, you just have to be prepared for people's reactions.  They might not be good.

    Give people some credit.  If they're invited to a wedding, they will probably guess that you are registered, and will eithe google it or ask you about it.  Don't complain that people keep asking... that's what they're supposed to do.  They're following etiquette.  Your convenience is not an excuse to be rude.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:6666dd19-da1b-415d-998e-09f53c81e1d5">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why is it that everyone writing on these boards are so effing rude to everyone else when seeking advice.  Some of you other brides make me want to punch you square in the face. The purpose of these boards is to seek advice so YES, you're going to come across posts were answers that might seem so OBVIOUS to you but may not be so obvious to someone else.  Way to go making other brides feel stupid. Regarding the question on registry announcements- you're not going to please everyone, that is a given.  Wouldn't worry about what everyone else is going to think, say or do- worry more about whether your dress fits, your rings fit and if you're going to need an umbrella, snow boots or sunscreen on your wedding day.
    Posted by puCCake[/QUOTE]

    I don't know about the other posts but this is the only one I can recall seeing in this thread using modified profanity and requesting violence.
  • [QUOTE]Thank you for everyone's responses and zest and zeal  :) I will definitely read up some more on wedding etiquette. P.S. <strong>Please don't let me be respnsible for any knottie injuries ;)</strong>
    Posted by cricky513[/QUOTE]
    CQTM :^)
  • As for the rest of the "people will just know" comments, I really don't think that's true.  I have been to a few weddings before, but only joined TK when my sister was getting married.  There is so much 'etiquette'  stuff that I had NEVER heard of before, and I know that I'm not alone in this.

    Just about every wedding I've ever been invited to has had registry information on the invitations and I never thought twice about it.  I got one without any registry info, and you can call me stupid or whatever you want, but I assumed that they just weren't registered.

    Also, some of the etiquette stuff seems like common sense and just being polite, others may be past 'common sense' but still make sense, but I do think there is quite a bit of it that seems antiquated.

    I've seen quite a few responses, not just in this post, but in others that if someone finds something 'offensive' about how someone did their registry, etc, that your gifts would reflect that (ie not getting one at all or getting them something stupid).  I think THAT is insanely rude.  Like really?  You can't overlook an etiquette faux paus like that that you are purposefully going to spite the couple over it?  That just seems petty and childish to me, but hey...to each his own I suppose...
    Anniversary
  • [QUOTE]As for the rest of the "people will just know" comments, I really don't think that's true.  I have been to a few weddings before, but only joined TK when my sister was getting married.  There is so much 'etiquette'  stuff that I had NEVER heard of before, and I know that I'm not alone in this. Just about every wedding I've ever been invited to has had registry information on the invitations and I never thought twice about it.  I got one without any registry info, and you can call me stupid or whatever you want, but I assumed that they just weren't registered. Also, some of the etiquette stuff seems like common sense and just being polite, others may be past 'common sense' but still make sense, but I do think there is quite a bit of it that seems antiquated. I've seen quite a few responses, not just in this post, but in others that if someone finds something 'offensive' about how someone did their registry, etc, that your gifts would reflect that (ie not getting one at all or getting them something stupid).  I think THAT is insanely rude.  Like really?  You can't overlook an etiquette faux paus like that that you are purposefully going to spite the couple over it?  That just seems petty and childish to me, but hey...to each his own I suppose...
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
    It doesn't matter what you think of including registry info in the wedding invites. The OPs question was "How do I announce my registry?" The answer is, "you don't". End of story.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-announcements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:dcba6d27-f8f6-47ab-ace4-c27543fac799Post:70644f1d-f271-4135-9614-dc78722c40a2">Re: Registry Announcements</a>:
    [QUOTE]It doesn't matter what you think of including registry info in the wedding invites. The OPs question was "How do I announce my registry?" The answer is, "you don't". End of story.
    Posted by kathrynhabibti[/QUOTE]

    Yes, but I wasn't necessarily responding to the OP's question, merely reacting to some of the answers. 

    And as people remind everyone when they give opinions on HM registries when a specific quesiton was asked...this is an international board and I can post anything I want, including what I think of including registry info.
    Anniversary
  • [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry Announcements : Yes, but I wasn't necessarily responding to the OP's question, merely reacting to some of the answers.
    <strong>Fair enough. I misunderstood, then.</strong>

     And as people remind everyone when they give opinions on HM registries when a specific quesiton was asked...this is an international board and I can post anything I want, including what I think of including registry info.
    <strong>Fair enough too, but there's a big difference between posting whatever correct information you want, and posting whatever incorrect information you want.</strong>
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
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