Anyone register for real silver?

SaraAndrew2010

Did anyone on here register for real silver silverware?  If so, did you get much of it?

FI and I put together our registries and registered for fine china and crystal (as well as less expensive items) but not real silverware.  Quality silverware, not just silver plate, seems to start around $450 per place setting.  I thought it was doubtful that many/any people would spend that much for a gift, so we left the silver off.

FMIL is apparently very upset that we haven't registered for real silver.  She keeps bringing it up and insisting that we should add silverware to our registry. 

I'm worried that we'll end up with 1 or 2 place settings of silver, and then what would we do with that?  We're not going to spend thousands of dollars completely  the set and you can't do much with only a couple place settings. 

I will mention that to my surprise the two most expensive items on our registry ($270 china teapot and $240 La Creuset dutch oven)  were some of the first items to be purchased off our registry when shower invites went out.  So maybe I'm underestimating the size of the gifts we'll be receiving.

Any advice from those of you who registered for sliver or thought about it would be helpful.  Thanks!

ootmother2

I know my daughter didn't.  She's just waiting for me to die so that she can have
 mine

khornack

Is real silver even something you want? Quite frankly, I have a set (family pieces), and it's work to take care of. I have opted not to register for the china I really want, because the Haviland- Limoge pattern I want is  too much for me to ask others to buy for me (it's about $500 for a 5 piece setting).

Does your mother in law realize how much silverware costs? By "silverware" does she mean flatware? You could just tell her you think that at the price per setting, it's too much to ask your guests to pay.

SaraAndrew2010

Real silver is something that would be nice to have, but I don't see it as a must have.  It would be nice to be able to pull out for special occassions, but both my mother and FMIL have sets of silveware that will probably be handed down to us eventually.

FMIL is fully aware of how much silverware costs.  I've tried telling her, "Silverware is around $500 a place setting and I doubt anyone will spend that much on us."  She's still very insistent that our regular flatware will ruin the "look" of our table when paired with china and crystal. 

FIL's are wealthier than my side of the family and they have some wealthy friends who are coming, so maybe we'd get a couple sets of silver.  But I'm just wondering if it's worth it to just end up with couple place settings.

ootmother2

I suggest that you wait until you're old like me and can afford to have someone to polish the silver every week!

:P

Muffin'sMom

I have it and never use it.  It's a pain in the behind.  I didn't think real people bought that stuff anymore.  Don't we all just get it handed down?  My daughter doesn't want it...but she does covet my china.  She didn't register for fine china because she wants mine 

Tell her thanks for sharing and change the subject.

strlzfan11

If your FMIL is insisting you register for it why doesn't your FI just tell her "if you want us to have it that bad, why don't you just buy it for us?"  That'll either get her to pay up or shut up.

tldh

My brothers got heirloom silver and I got heirloom china from the grandparents.  Silver is the only thing that I knew I wanted on the registry - that is until I saw the cost per place setting. 

The BB&B lady kept trying to register us for it saying, "Oh, you'll be surprised how many people will buy it for you."  After the third time, I was almost yelling at her that we know what our guests will be willing to spend and clearly, she doesn't have a clue.  Only you and your FI will know if a $400+ place setting is in your guests budget.

quotequeen

I don't have the slightest interest in real silver.  If you do want it, I think as long as you get a timeless pattern you could build it over time.  Perhaps you get a couple of settings now, and then every Christmas your MIL gets you another one until you have a full set?  But if you don't want the hassle of it, don't bother.  Saying the look of your table will be ruined is pretty snooty and ridiculous.

JoyMatt424

I would put both silver AND regular flatware on my registry. Don't just put silver. Give your guests a choice. It's your choice to return it and exchange it if you change your mind after.

Also, FMIL shouldn't be telling you what to put on the registry. It's your choice and if you don't like her ideas then don't put it there.

marissa_claire

My mother actually gave me an old set of hers that we had to polish, but came out beautifully.  

Also - it's none of your FMIL's business what you do and do not need.  I think real silver sets were more common back in the day, but as pricey as they are now, I can't blame you for thinking twice.  It's really up to you if you will honestly use them.

nhelene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_anyone-register-real-silver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e3d1d938-8569-45d8-a586-a1836897247ePost:08b864a3-aace-4ad2-a47f-44ef2e1c5c68">Re: Anyone register for real silver?</a>:
[QUOTE]  She's still very insistent that our regular flatware will ruin the "look" of our table when paired with china and crystal.
Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

This is pretty silly.  You can find fancy <em>looking </em>stainless steel flatware for a reasonable price, and it will go with your china and crystal just fine.

noodle_oo

No way!  Real silver is *insanely* expensive.  no one would spend that much money on us.  And if they did, I'd rather they give it to us in cash so we could use it for a much more practical purpose.

I didn't think normal people register for that stuff either, only really wealthy families who can afford it. 

kristinanddan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_anyone-register-real-silver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e3d1d938-8569-45d8-a586-a1836897247ePost:f7a10ef4-a04d-471e-85d1-3ac61860d04e">Re: Anyone register for real silver?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone register for real silver? : This is pretty silly.  You can find fancy looking stainless steel flatware for a reasonable price, and it will go with your china and crystal just fine.
Posted by nhelene[/QUOTE]

Definitely. We have 18/10 steel flatware by Lenox that is absolutely gorgeous and could definitely be used with china and crystal.

MNVegas

I have everyday flatware, special ocassion flatware and real silverware. Guess how many times I've used the real silver? ZERO!!  It is a PITA to take care to clean and maintain.  No thanks!

jed15

Maybe if your FMIL is adament about it, she could buy you all the place settings you need as your wedding gift!!

sister2groom

If you really don't want to fight about it, you could register at a place with great return policies.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_anyone-register-real-silver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e3d1d938-8569-45d8-a586-a1836897247ePost:08313967-bb9d-4744-9696-8156b9d26813">Re: Anyone register for real silver?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know my daughter didn't.  She's just waiting for me to die so that she can have  mine ;)
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

Haha, this is me. My mom has her grandmother's silver. My mom was an only child and I'm her only daughter. She has tons and tons of things like bone china tea cups, the silver, several sets of china, etc that I'll have to find someplace to store... I mean, um, inherit someday.

I do agree that you COULD find a timeless setting you can collect over time. (My mom and my dad's mother actually had the same set of silver - guess it was popular in the 30s and 40s). But only if you really want it.

JoyMatt424

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_anyone-register-real-silver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e3d1d938-8569-45d8-a586-a1836897247ePost:8ceea5e5-b7f7-4c9e-b991-3ead5e1a372f">Re: Anyone register for real silver?</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe if your FMIL is adament about it, she could buy you all the place settings you need as your wedding gift!!
Posted by jed15@case.edu[/QUOTE]

haha! YES!

Crissyo

I didn't even receive my Lenox flatware which was a lot cheaper than silver...so I wouldn't push it with the silver.  As other people have said, there is a lot of flatware ( such as the lenox I had wanted) that is  alot cheaper than real silver, but still plenty expensive...$100 a place setting, etc.

jkepros

We didn't even register for regular flatware, LOL.  We haven't found anything yet that we agree on.   

Most companies that make silver make a sterling set and/or  silver plate set and/or stainless set in the same exact pattern, so you could do one of the cheaper ones and get the same exact look.  Check out Ercuis, a French brand, that offers both modern and classic styles:
http://www.ercuis-raynaud.com/CATERCUIS/detail.lasso?-token.ppage=2008140141209&-token.chap=couverts%20|%20flatware

Like pp said, just because you register for something doesn't mean you're getting it.  We registered for lots of stuff, and in the end most people gave us cash/gift cards.  With a few exceptions, the only stuff we got off our registry was kitchen appliances, pots & pans, and small kitchen gadgets.  We bought all of our own dishes (what we wanted most of all!) using giftcards, coupons, & our completion discount. 

It doesn't hurt anything to register for silverware, and you can always collect the pieces over the years (like add to your collection for holidays, etc) if you don't get a complete set, or if you don't want to bother, return them for something more practical.  You might register for them to keep FMIL happy, not receive any pieces, and be able to silently give a little "I told you so" to FMIL.   

GL!

K&J64

Don't register for silver, please. It's so old fashioned, such a pain in the ass to care for and frankly, no one will be impressed by it. People are more likely to think you're a snob for registering for it. You can get beautiful SS flatware for <$100 a placesetting that will complement your china and crystal just fine.

If she continues to push about it tell her if she want to buy you however many placesettings herself, the storage box and to come over and polish it one a month then she's more than welcome to buy it. Short of that ignore her!

sabatron

Something tells me we hail from different socioeconomical backgrounds, because there's no way in hell ANYONE in either of our familes would buy us such expensive place settings. Wouldn't you rather have someone buy you expensive things that at least have some practicality? Eating off silver doesn't make the food taste any better.  FMIL needs to pull her head out of her butt.

MissButters

We had silver on our registry when we first started it.. and then took it off and put good stainless on instead.  I want silver, but it's very expensive and also, I didn't love any of the patterns that Macy's carried.  Now. that doesn't mean we won't pick a pattern and tell our families in case they'd be so inclined to get it for us at some point in the future.

As far as taking care of it, my mom has silver, and her china cabinet has a silver drawer in it, and she's only polished it about 3 times in the last ten years.  I don't know if it's the cloths that she keeps on top or the fact she still keeps them in plastic sleeves or something about the drawer, but it really keeps it from tarnishing.  Yes, it's still a pain to hand wash though!

lherdman

Who cares what your mother in law wants - I say don't register for it unless you or your husband really want it.  I see what you mean about the possibility of having one place setting, but you willl be surprised at what people will spend for shower and wedding gifts. If you only get a few pieces, you can always use some of the money you get as gifts, to purchase more. If your mother in law has been mentioning it, she is probably willing to get a few pieces. 

I did not register for silver. I was fortunate enough to get my grandmothers set which I love and cherish and look forward to passing down.

[Deleted User]

I have sterling silver, and I love it.  I am one of those strange peope who really doesn't mind polishing silver because it is so beautiful, and, if you keep it in a silver chest, it really doesn't tarnish.  The real problem is that it should NOT be put in the dishwasher.  As far as the cost, yes, it is very expensive, and the price will vary considerably over time depending on the current price of silver - the price fluctuates since it's a precious metal.  What relatives did for me when I was collecting my silver was to buy a place setting and then give me single pieces for gift giving occasions.  If you get two complete place settings for shower/wedding, you can use it for a romantic dinner with your husband; when you get to four place settings, small dinner party, etc.  Also Replacements Ltd sells silverware by single pieces, and I believe this is also for current patterns so there are ways to acquire that won't blow the budget totally out of the water.  Silver is a luxury item, but in my opinion well worth it.  Confession apropos to absolutely nothing.  I just bought shoes for mywedding, and I feel like I spent more for these shoes than I have spent on shoes in my entire liftetime and I decided they were so beautiful they are worth every penny.  We pick and chose our luxuries; it's just a matter of priorities, and I know some people wouldn't have silver in their house.  I love it, but other options like pewter can be just as elegant.