Registry and Gift Forum

XP: Shower Gift Question

Hey all, just had a quick question for you. FI's family threw us 2 showers this past weekend and a lot of the people came up with a lot of creative gifts that weren't on our registry. One of his mom's friends ended up getting us a knife set. We did not register for a knife set specifically because we already have a really nice one that I inherited. This wouldn't be a problem except the set given by the friend had no tag on it and no gift receipt. I'm not sure exactly what etiquette would say. Do we just keep the set and donate it? We will not use it. Would it be against etiquette to ask where the gift came from and explain the circumstances? I feel bad but it's like...would she rather we not use the gift or would she feel embarassed if we said we already had one?
Thanks in advance! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
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Re: XP: Shower Gift Question

  • Don't talk to her about it - that will just be awkward.  I would do a search online for the brand and see if you can figure out what set it is.  I would bet $20 that BBB carries it.  If so, return it to BBB and get store credit there.  They will take back anything without a receipt and give you store credit that you can use for some of the items you don't get from your registry.  If BBB doesn't carry it, check william's sonoma.  Also check Target and Kohls for lower end sets.  Target won't necessarily let you return without a receipt but Kohls will.  Between those 4 stores you are very likely to find where it was from.

    If it's a nice set you might want to try them before getting rid of them.  Inheriting a set might be ok (depending on the line), but nice knives are extremely expensive, and it's one of those things you want to invest in so you don't hurt yourself.  I don't know what you have versus what she gave you, but an inherited set could potentially be dulled over the years, which is dangerous.  Just my $0.02.

    If none of this works, just quietly donate it, but wait until the wedding is over before you do so.  If, god forbid, something happens between now and then you will need to return it to her.
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  • I would never tell someone I was returning their gift.  If someone did that to me, I would be incredibly offended.  Do some research, find out which stores carry the knife set, and try to return it to one of them for store credit.
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  • Completely agree, dont ask the guest where it is from. Do your research, if you cant find out where it is from, donate it.
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  • If anyone readng this is considering a knife set, please understand that you are not supposed to give ANYTHING that cuts as a wedding gift.  No knife set, no scissors, no can opener.

    If someone DOES give you a knife set / scissors / can opener, you immediately respond by giving that person a penny or quarter or dollar so that you are "buying" the item, not getting the item as a gift.

    Where I live these traditiona and customs are followed to the letter.  Here is an article with more details:

  • If I were you, I would never return the gift... Neither I would tell anyone that I don't need it. Having a spare knife set does not mean much. Keep it... and you may get a chance to use it in future. 
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