ATTENTION:

crfische

1) No, it is NOT okay to MAKE your guests donate money to a charity of YOUR choice. This is tacky and rude. If you want to make a contribution do it with your own money.

2) Honeymoon registries are NOT acceptable. Your family and friends should not have to pay for your sex fest. This should be done on your own dollar.

3) No, you can't put your registry cards in with your invites. It's gift grabby and rude. This is acceptable for shower invites, not for wedding invites.

4) No, you cannot, in any way, infer on your invitation that you only want cash gifts only. YOU JUST CAN'T. Word of mouth (and not your own) is the only acceptable way to attempt to let your guests know this. This goes for house registries, too. Just. Don't.

pinkpinot

Amen sister

mwhitson14

Preach it fischey!

Pirata13

*golf clap*

Well said.

AmoroAgain

All I did was scroll through the topics.  I didn't click on a single one.


This is the tackiest area I've ever seen.  Dear.God.

Nebb

Im 90% certain the general population of this board will read this and just think youre mean and bitter and not listen to what you said anyways. Its a losing battle my friend.

squirrly

Absolutely, fishy.

kkchisholm

honeymoon registry? people do that?

squirrly

My mom suggested it and was kinda pissed/disappointed when I shot that idea down. 

sucrets4

**applause**

I nominate fishy for R&G mod.

Night_Sprite

I think this board should be disbanded and absorbed into etiquette.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:b2147e33-7a09-4286-a3b2-50b644613eb4">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this board should be disbanded and absorbed into etiquette.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

Agreed. It looks like this board needs us.

kmt_cas

I'm with CS.  Can we please make this a sticky?  This is the best damn thing I've read on R&G's yet and I'm sure that will never change.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

WhatEVER Fishy, that is so just your opinion. MY friends and family won't be offended by a cash registry! And I'm putting registry info in my invitations because everyone else I know does it, and no one has ever mentioned it's not okay! It's curteous to let people know where you register!

*hair flip*

Why do you, like, have to be so rude?

crfische

Because when I'm nice, people don't listen, THATS WHY SNOT FACE.

sarabear23

Im probably going to get attacked for saying this,but...
I dont think its "wrong" or absolutely not okay to do some of these things. I think if you put the registry card in the invitation, your FRIENDS arent going to talk behind your back about how "tacky" it is. The people invited are friends and family, I dont think theyre going to be that rude. Honestly, I wouldnt think of it as being gift grabby or rude to recieve an invite with a registry card inside.
The honeymoon registry, yeah, not cool. I dont wanna pay for someone to have sex somewhere awesome.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Sara, I think that unless you and your FI are from the same small town and know exactly the same people, you'll have people from all walks of life at your wedding. High school friends, college friends, coworkers, cousins. Even if something is done among your immediate family, or your group of friends, or your hometown, doesn't mean EVERY guest will think it's okay. There's bound to be someone who gives it the side-eye.

I'm amazed at the number of people who say they didn't know it wasn't acceptable to put registry info in the invites. To me, that's wedding etiquette 101 and I've known it since I was 7 or so.

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:0f8dee7c-2033-4bbc-9569-6e25c363660f">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]Im probably going to get attacked for saying this,but... I dont think its "wrong" or absolutely not okay to do some of these things. I think if you put the registry card in the invitation, your FRIENDS arent going to talk behind your back about how "tacky" it is. The people invited are friends and family, I dont think theyre going to be that rude. Honestly, I wouldnt think of it as being gift grabby or rude to recieve an invite with a registry card inside. The honeymoon registry, yeah, not cool. I dont wanna pay for someone to have sex somewhere awesome.
Posted by sarabear23[/QUOTE]

It's a person by person thing.  You may feel that way, but I got a wedding invite from two friends once that listed all the registries and had a note on it stating that the bride and the groom didn't really want boxed gifts.  I thought it was rude.  Do I still like them?  Sure, they're great people and fun to be with.  But did I wish they didn't do that?  Absolutely.  It did come off as presumptuous to me.

ladybirda

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:24441cb0-3f9c-48fa-ab2e-6407086cedfb">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]Because when I'm nice, people don't listen, THATS WHY SNOT FACE.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

The great irony of certain P&E posters is that they usually post their opinions as rudely as possible.  While there's nothing wrong with having an opinion on what is proper, most manner mavens would note that these ideas should be communicated graciously whenever possible.  As it happens, I agree with most of Fische's points, but I think there's no need to shove them in people's faces.  Since you're so keen on lecturing others on how to have class, why not try having some yourself?  The above quote says it all.

sarabear23

To include a not saying no boxed gifts IS rude. I would be a little put off by that.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:5a275029-7fb2-481e-a49f-e7aa7bdf5b59">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ATTENTION: : The great irony of certain P&E posters is that they usually post their opinions as rudely as possible.  While there's nothing wrong with having an opinion on what is proper, most manner mavens would note that these ideas should be communicated graciously whenever possible.  As it happens, I agree with most of Fische's points, but I think there's no need to shove them in people's faces.  Since you're so keen on lecturing others on how to have class, why not try having some yourself?  The above quote says it all.
Posted by 6397721988448873[/QUOTE]

Actually, I like Drop Dead Fred quote. It rings true sometimes. There are only so many redundant puppies and rainbows a person can stand. I got flamed my first time posting on P&E, but now that I have been around longer, I see the reason for the sarcasm. If I have to repeat myself 14 times a day on teh same topic because people don't read other posts identical to theirs, then yes, its aggravating.

MyNameIsNot

 I think if you put the registry card in the invitation, your FRIENDS arent going to talk behind your back about how "tacky" it is. The people invited are friends and family, I dont think theyre going to be that rude.

Just b/c your friends probably have enough class to not talk about you behind your back isn't a very good excuse for doing something rude to them. 

You personally may not be offended by a registry insert, but I would be, and I know plenty of people that would be offended to recieve an invitation to buy a gift. 

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:5a275029-7fb2-481e-a49f-e7aa7bdf5b59">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ATTENTION: : The great irony of certain P&E posters is that they usually post their opinions as rudely as possible.  While there's nothing wrong with having an opinion on what is proper, most manner mavens would note that these ideas should be communicated graciously whenever possible.  As it happens, I agree with most of Fische's points, but I think there's no need to shove them in people's faces.  Since you're so keen on lecturing others on how to have class, why not try having some yourself?  The above quote says it all.
Posted by 6397721988448873[/QUOTE]

Not the brightest crayon in the box, are ya?

MeaghanandMichael

Just because people aren't talking about you does not make something ok. Is that really the meter by which you judge your own lifestyle? I mean, sure I personally think my friend drinks to much but because no one is talking about it, it is ok? WRONG.

People are so wrapped up in what their own little worlds tell them that they forgetting the overarching theme of etiquette is to transcend colloquial mishaps and make your guests as comfortable as you possibly can. The old, "every one else did it excuse" should have gone out the window with your break of curfew in ninth grade. I think most of the ladies on this board are smart enough to see that, even if it is too much 'work' to actually follow through on being a good hostess.

sarabear23

Its not like youre including a note saying "buy me a gift or you arent invited". I didnt say that because they wont talk about it, that it makes everything fine. I simply meant that I dont think they will see it as "buy a gift or dont show" situation.

ladybirda

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:fcffe1f5-0c76-4527-8092-7e76140ffc3f">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ATTENTION: : Not the brightest crayon in the box, are ya?
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

Again, you prove my point.  Of course I get that Fische was being hyperbolic/sarcastic, but the truth is that many P&E posts DO have that tone, of "you idiot, shut up so I can tell you how not to be rude!"  It's hypocritical at best, downright nasty at worst, and in my opinion, so unnecessary in this forum.  If you absolutely feel the need to be unpleasant or insulting, stay on snarky brides.   I completely understand the frustration you feel when people post the same questions over and over again, but the reality is that there are newly engaged people every day, some people have better things to do with their lives than be on the chat rooms all the time, and old questions do eventually get shuffled off the pages. 

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:0f8dee7c-2033-4bbc-9569-6e25c363660f">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]Im probably going to get attacked for saying this,but... I dont think its "wrong" or absolutely not okay to do some of these things. I think if you put the registry card in the invitation, your FRIENDS arent going to talk behind your back about how "tacky" it is. The people invited are friends and family, I dont think theyre going to be that rude. Honestly, I wouldnt think of it as being gift grabby or rude to recieve an invite with a registry card inside. The honeymoon registry, yeah, not cool. I dont wanna pay for someone to have sex somewhere awesome.
Posted by sarabear23[/QUOTE]

Um, I thought the whole point of talking behind someone's back was so that they DIDN'T KNOW. 

So, how would you know if they thought it was rude or not?  Usually people don't tell you that shiit to your face, although they really should.

janedoe1113a

Sadly, with a lot of people that come on P&E, you have to be rude to get your point across to them.

crfische

Oh sweet baby jesus.

jennylove810

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_attention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f2d41778-497b-46bf-8c6b-bb53be7ed334Post:9f485d00-d99e-4b6a-bc85-8285a2cc7dd3">Re: ATTENTION:</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ATTENTION: : Again, you prove my point.  Of course I get that Fische was being hyperbolic/sarcastic, but the truth is that many P&E posts DO have that tone, of "you idiot, shut up so I can tell you how not to be rude!"  It's hypocritical at best, downright nasty at worst, and in my opinion, so unnecessary in this forum.  If you absolutely feel the need to be unpleasant or insulting, stay on snarky brides.   I completely understand the frustration you feel when people post the same questions over and over again, but the reality is that there are newly engaged people every day, some people have better things to do with their lives than be on the chat rooms all the time, and old questions do eventually get shuffled off the pages. 
Posted by 6397721988448873[/QUOTE]

I agree 1000%.  In fact, I enjoy this board and several others because while people come on here with ideas that aren't the greatest, I've seen very, very few posters get attacked.  Rather, girls are gently and rationally talked out of poor ideas.  It's not a new poster's fault if someone asked her exact same questions 48 hours ago and I'm not going to bite her head off for it.

crfische

Yes, you are right. You are a MUCH better person than I.

Your little ruler slapping totally changed my perspective.

I'm sure spoiled brides to be everywhere are thankful for your contribution to their enablement.

QUIT ATTACKING ME AND BEING SO MEAN.