Registry and Gift Forum

Registering for a honeymoon???

Has anyone ever heard of couples "registering" for a honeymoon???  A friend of mine mentioned this the other day and I'm wondering if anyone has ever done this, and if so... how to go about doing this. My fiancee and I are paying for our whole wedding and judt bought a house in Oct 2008 so $$ is very tight.... Any suggestions or thoughts??

Re: Registering for a honeymoon???

  • My suggestion is to read the post right below titled What's the Difference? HM registries are generally considered fairly tacky, and you should never try to get others to pay for a vacation that you can't afford.
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  •  I've only heard of 1 person. that i know doing this and i remember thinking that it was in fact tacky.... This was some time ago and things change so quickly that I figured I'd check... My gut feeling is that it is tacky and does say " hey ! i cant afford a honeymoon..lol" Thanks for the advice...much appreciated
  • In some circles, honeymoon registries are totally fine, but, personally, in my circle, people would frown upon it.

    I'd suggest doing a small registry of household items for people who insist on giving boxed gifts (and if you have a shower), and then when people ask where you're registered, just say "we have a registry at X store, but we're also saving for a honeymoon."  Then most people will give you cash or checks anyway and you can put it towards a trip.
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  • Go for it, if you feel like your guests will be open and accepting. The honeymoon registries that I have seen are basically bank accounts, so some people might take it the wrong way. Know your crowd and do what you and FI want to do! Maybe ask friends and family members what they think.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ffdfa301-9d95-4fa1-bd09-fdad74bc2f0dPost:1c4d60c1-30fa-49f0-98c6-13c3ded28780">Re: Registering for a honeymoon???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Go for it, if you feel like your guests will be open and accepting. The honeymoon registries that I have seen are basically bank accounts
    Posted by megandjay[/QUOTE]

    You should be aware that most honeymoon registries take a cut of the total gifts to the registry.  So your guests may think they are giving you $100 for your honeymoon, but you are only getting $85 or $90. 

    You are better off doing a small registry of household items and upgrades and letting it be known through your family and wedding party that you would prefer cash.  At least if guests give you cash you get the full amount that you can spend towards your honeymoon and no company takes a cut of it.
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2010
    HM registries are just another way of asking for cash, which isn't cool, except this time the guests don't know about it.  They think they are buying you a romantic dinner for two but really, the company will take their money, then take a cut, then write you a check.  So, not only are you charging your guests to give you a gift but you are deceiving them into thinking they are purchasing something that they are not.

    It is perfectly acceptable to not register then have your family spread by word of mouth that you are saving for a honeymoon.  Most will get the hint and give you cash, which not only cuts out the middleman but actually puts more money in your pocket.

    Lastly, I find it horribly rude to plan vacations you cannot afford and expect others to pay for them.
  • at the end of the day you know your friends and family. personally, mine think it's a cool idea and love contributing to ours. we created it with http://www.depositagift.com

    it's a very classy site. and it's not only honeymoon. so you could do half honeymoon and half home decor. even add a charity. it's not so much about money being tight, it's about what you actually need. if you need physical stuff, then great, register for that. but if that's just going to create clutter, then help your guests give you something you actually want. for those that are going to give cash anyways, they won't use it, b/c they don't have the emotional baggage about giving money. but for those who want to feel like they're giving a present, this helps them over the hump and everyone's happy. that's what we've found so far.

    at least check it out and you'll see what you think of the site...sometimes its just the way something is presented that makes all the difference.

    best of luck to you!
  • oh, forgot to include a couple of links that might help. they recently posted them on their fb fan page

    etiquette question: http://www.recessionwire.com/2010/01/20/cashing-in-on-wedding-gifts/

    trust: http://www.truste.com/why_TRUSTe_privacy_services/privacy_trust_stories.html#onlineservices


  • I was thinking about doing a HM registry for a few reasons. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and living together for 4 of those years. There are not a lot of things that we need that could be put on a traditional registry. The HM registry gives our guest a chance to give us something that we can really use. It's not that we can't afford our honeymoon, we have already paid for it. The things we have added are items we wouldn't normally splurge on like a couples massage and extra activities.  I feel this is a way to give guest who would normally give cash or who don't want to buy you a toaster or oven mits a way to give you a unique gift with a little direction.

    In the end it is up to you and how you feel your guests will receive it. I was a little shocked by all the responses saying this is tacky... I think i'm going to ask around and see what my family and friends think.

    I hope this helps!

    oh and I used www.honeymoonwishes.com
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  • We did a HM registry through Honeyfund. From what we researched it is one of the only sites that doesn't charge a fee (unless paypal is used but I believe we acquire the 3% fee)

    I think it depends on the response you will get from your guests. When we mentioned it to our family they thought it was one of the coolest things. By word or mouth from my mother and sister mentioning it we have had nothing but positive responses. People have been saying they wished they did something like this! We did not make a HM registry to pay for our actual trip just excursions that we would like to go on.

    We will also be taking pictures of us doing the excursions that guests purchased for us and sending them a picture in the thank you card. If its something you really want to do bring the topic up to few close friends and see how they respond. We also did 2 traditional registry's since you may have some guests that don't like putting their information online or would like to get you a physical gift. GL!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ffdfa301-9d95-4fa1-bd09-fdad74bc2f0dPost:ddbb059a-5749-408e-b1cd-a36531f291c4">Re: Registering for a honeymoon???</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is exactly what we are doing. This is the best site I have seen yet. Some require you to actually purchase your honeymoon and then guests would go to the hotel or cruise's website and reimburse you for parts. This site lets you truly set up  list of your own. You could even ask for $ towards a downpayment on a house or car.... or ANYTHING! <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com" rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com</a> Good luck!
    Posted by laleighmoore[/QUOTE]

    Really? REALLY!? You're telling people to ask for money towards a downpayment on a HOUSE?! That is just beyond tacky. Do you really think people who dont even own THEIR house, and going to want to pay for someone elses?


    oh dear.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ffdfa301-9d95-4fa1-bd09-fdad74bc2f0dPost:ddbb059a-5749-408e-b1cd-a36531f291c4">Re: Registering for a honeymoon???</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is exactly what we are doing. This is the best site I have seen yet. Some require you to actually purchase your honeymoon and then guests would go to the hotel or cruise's website and reimburse you for parts. This site lets you truly set up  list of your own. <strong>You could even ask for $ towards a downpayment on a house or car</strong>.... or ANYTHING! <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com" rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com</a> Good luck!
    Posted by laleighmoore[/QUOTE]

    You really expect people to give you money to buy a car or house?? The greed never ends!
  • If you want money for the honeymoon, make a small registry and spread the word that you are saving for it when people ask.  People will give you money.  Bonus: no one takes a cut and it isn't tacky.
  • Personally, I see no difference whether I give a couple money towards their honeymoon or buy them a blender for $100.  Either way, any time you have a shower, you are asking people to give you gifts!  I would much rather contribute towards a nice honeymoon dinner than buy another toaster oven or set of sheets.  Just my personal opinion.  But I really do not see the distinction some people are drawing.  I don't see how one is "tacky" and the other isn't.

    That being said, I do agree that you shouldn't ask people to pay for the honeymoon itself, but rather excursions such as dinner, and the like. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ffdfa301-9d95-4fa1-bd09-fdad74bc2f0dPost:aa7893b2-d1ba-4a42-82e5-c23c367d8c0a">Re: Registering for a honeymoon???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly I am kind of sickened by the people calling this tacky!!!!  Posted by bwinkopp[/QUOTE]

    I'm kind of sickened by people thinking this is ok.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ffdfa301-9d95-4fa1-bd09-fdad74bc2f0dPost:9140a557-24af-4bbd-8003-49fb6ff8b115">Re: Registering for a honeymoon???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registering for a honeymoon??? : I'm kind of sickened by people thinking this is ok.
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    Thats okay, I am sickened by the fact that you purchase snuggies and take photos in them. 

    You had your own wedding, it is none of your gosh darned business what others do in thiers. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ffdfa301-9d95-4fa1-bd09-fdad74bc2f0dPost:1126657b-0203-41bc-963f-2d72b08988c1">Re: Registering for a honeymoon???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registering for a honeymoon??? : Thats okay, I am sickened by the fact that you purchase snuggies and take photos in them.  You had your own wedding, it is none of your gosh darned business what others do in thiers. 
    Posted by bwinkopp[/QUOTE]

    Not to me, but actually, it is a guest's business what the couple registers for if the couple hopes to get anything.

    This is one of the biggest events a person plans in her life.  Why do something that's offensive to guests??

    I can tell you, if a couple is rude or abrasive, to me as a guest then that's absolutely my business.
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ffdfa301-9d95-4fa1-bd09-fdad74bc2f0dPost:1126657b-0203-41bc-963f-2d72b08988c1">Re: Registering for a honeymoon???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registering for a honeymoon??? : Thats okay, I am sickened by the fact that you purchase snuggies and take photos in them.  You had your own wedding, it is none of your gosh darned business what others do in thiers. 
    Posted by bwinkopp[/QUOTE]

    Wow, what an awesome comeback.  I'm blown away by your awesomeness
  • I think the honeymoon registry is totally fine. We are doing one for the same reasons most of the others have mentioned. My FI and I built a home together 4 years ago. Not only do we have everything for our house, we both work retail and have more sheets, towels, etc. than we could ever use!! We are using honeyfund.com. I was able to list what excursions we wanted and even give guests links to see them online. We are also planning to take photos and send them to the guests who gave them as thank-yous. My family is very supportive and thinks it's great that we found a way for them to give us something we really want instead of a crystal vase we won't ever use.
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