Second Weddings

XP: How should I react to this? Opinions please!

So FI and I both decided that for our toasting glasses, we didn't want to spend a lot of money on "special" glasses that would only be used for like 10 minutes at our ceremony, and then sit on a shelf until they got knocked over and broken, lol. So we decided to just take a couple of cheap champagne glasses we already owned, and glue ribbons and decorations on them to spruce them up a bit.

This morning, I get a text from FI's sister, asking if we have toasting glasses. I told her we did, and she asked if we were especially partial to them. I said no, because a glass is a glass. So she told me that her and her husband have bought us a really expensive set of toasting glasses that say bride and groom on them, and she wanted to surprise us but realized we might already have some, so she wanted to check. She said she'll be giving them to us next week at their brother's wedding.

Now, i'm not ungrateful, but I feel ridiculous accepting these as a gift. For one thing, FI and I are practical by nature, so spending that much money on something that would be used once and then forgotten about seems like such a waste, and not something we'd want. Two, the gift has really no meaning to us, because to them they're these expensive things, but to us they're just freakin' glasses. We don't drink champagne so they would literally never be used again (we're just putting soda in our glasses to toast with). It's also one of those gifts that you can't just say "Oh, thank you!" and then maybe return at a later time, because obviously they would expect us to use them at our wedding, which they'll be attending. What am I supposed to do here?

Re: XP: How should I react to this? Opinions please!

  • edited December 2011
    Politely accept, use them at our wedding, write a nice Thank You note, and pack them away for never.  

    It stinks, but a gift is a gift, even it's not your thing. 

    I did the same thing you did for the WP toast glasses at my first wedding.  I carried those champagne flutes around until my divorce, then I left them with my XH.  They were never used again. 
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_xp-should-react-this-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:069ede41-1faf-4524-8671-a6891e574ba2Post:d6895de6-1390-4b12-8ef3-4a2c14a48964">Re: XP: How should I react to this? Opinions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Politely accept, use them at our wedding, write a nice Thank You note, and pack them away for never.</strong>   It stinks, but a gift is a gift, even it's not your thing.  I did the same thing you did for the WP toast glasses at my first wedding.  I carried those champagne flutes around until my divorce, then I left them with my XH.  They were never used again. 
    Posted by lindaloulubbock[/QUOTE]

    Agree ... say thanks and let it go.
  • edited December 2011

    I feel you on this one. I tried to" cheap out" on all one use items. Actually my mother in law found Bride and Groom champaigne glasses at Goodwill and picked them up for us.

    HOWEVER:  In this situation, If I were in your shoes, I would graciously accept the gift and pay it forward. Maybe start a tradition of giving the glasses to family members or close friends  to use for their weddings and then ask them to pay it forward to a family member or close friend, and so on.....

    Then the very expensive gift doesn't sit in a box forever but gets used by family members, their children, and they have a histrory of being in many weddings!

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_xp-should-react-this-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:069ede41-1faf-4524-8671-a6891e574ba2Post:ef6d7af8-c0d7-4d34-b3f6-e3bad7138ba8">Re: XP: How should I react to this? Opinions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel you on this one. I tried to" cheap out" on all one use items. Actually my mother in law found Bride and Groom champaigne glasses at Goodwill and picked them up for us. HOWEVER:  In this situation, If I were in your shoes, I would graciously accept the gift and <strong><font color="#0000ff">pay it forward</font></strong>. Maybe start a tradition of giving the glasses to family members or close friends  to use for their weddings and then ask them to pay it forward to a family member or close friend, and so on..... Then the very expensive gift doesn't sit in a box forever but gets used by family members, their children, and they have a histrory of being in many weddings!
    Posted by thealphabride[/QUOTE]

    That's cool, alpha.  I like the idea of passing it along in the family.  That way, it becomes something sought after.  Really cool idea.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree wtih Alpha--that's an awesome idea! :)
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone here, gracefully accept them, then pass them forward.

    It is difficult to say "no" to something you really didn't want or need. But it won't be the last time in your lives this happens. 

    This was not a big deal when my parents married 60 years ago............for their 50th anniversary party I got them "bride and groom" toasting glasses. They are in a glass enclosed bookshelf my Mom has, along with other decorative but delicate items. They will be passed down in the family as something special that belonged to my parents, but NOT for future weddings............at least not yet. 

    For us, I got a great deal on all-silver toasting flutes at Tuesday Morning well over a year ago (uder $30). I just had them engraved/personalized at Things Remembered with our names and wedding date. They aren't breakable, but will tarnish. Not sure where they will end up, but we'll re-use them every year on our anniversary I'm sure. 

    I think you should see if anyone else wants to use them in the future. That is a great idea, and the people who gifted you with these started  a special tradition. 
  • edited December 2011
    We had no intention of having special toasting flutes.  My DD travelled to Italy on a school trip her junior year of HS, and purchased, paid duty and had a gorgeous pair shipped home as our wedding gift to us.  Because she was so excited about the gift, it made them special to us as well. 
    I LOVE alpha's idea of making them part of a special family tradition.  I think I will do that with ours as well.  ~Donna
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah I think toasting flutes are a waste. So just appreciate that she wants to blow money on something that'll never get used again! lol her money, not yours.

    Neither of us drink champagne and I rarely drink wine, so the only alcohol we're providing at our vow renewal ceremony is beer. I went to the Dollar Tree, bought beer mugs, used etching cream and wrote "Mr." and "Mrs." on each glass. A few family members think it's tacky, but we're not into champagne or wine so I'm not going to do something that isn't "us" for our day.
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