Second Weddings

It's not just me

that feels this way--there are others who don't really agree that having your pretty pretty princess day in the big white dress is a FAKE wedding:

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/50822039.aspx

image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

Re: It's not just me

  • edited December 2011
    You know its not just you!!  Here's my beef:  when someone chooses to get married in a small unassuming way-- it is their choice.  (And I know we already debated whether or not a military deployment gets a buy.)  It may be their choice because they don't want to wait because of (a) pregnancy, (b) insurance & illness, (c) financial issues, (d) general impatience or something else.   It may be the way they desire to marry each other.  Each of us has to live with our choices and the consequences of those choices. 

    If you want to be married well before the birth of a child, and to do that you decide to go to the JOP and have cake & punch at home for immediate family afterwards, fine.  But you chose that path.  A year later, deciding that you are entitled to a poufy dress, a champagne fountain and lavish dinner/dance is where my hackles will be up.  If that is what you wanted, then wait to get married until you can plan and have it.  What means more to you?  It is the entitlement, in any shape or form, that makes me crazy. 

    Five years ago, we had our wedding/reception at the venue we could afford.  Next door is a beautiful historic building that was way more expensive, and is booked up well in advance.  We CHOSE not to book there, because it didn't fit our budget or our timeline.  If I decided today that I was entitled to a reception there, and therefore I was going to have another wedding/reception-- there's no one who would think I was anything but nuts.  It's really not that different. 

    <Skips off to tell DH about the GREAT idea I have for our 5 year anniversary />  ~Donna
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I usually don't post on these threads (preferring, instead, to sit back, be entertained and let the sparks fly) but I'm feeling the need to contribute this -- FI has been married twice before, both times in courthouse ceremonies.  He had to get two divorces in order to be "un"married.  So, when I come across posts in which someone talks about having their "wedding" and, in fact, they have already had a wedding ceremony, it makes me crazy.  Eeek!

    FI and I have had to face many of the same challenges during this l_o_n_g (15 month) engagement that seems to drive others to the courthouse ... loss of employment, loss of health insurance, trip to the E.R., severe financial stress (all mine, btw) but have continued moving forward to the planned family/friends wedding and celebration. 

    This has helped us learn so much more about one another, more than we would have learned if we'd ditched this planned wedding/family celebration and opted for something sooner.  It has brought us closer together than rushing the ceremony would have.  And now that he's gotten a solid offer on his house (hallelujah!), we'll be shacking up for 2 1/2 months prior to the wedding -- now that's a first for me.  But, at age 50, I'm up for learning something new!  ;)

    Okay.  That's all.  As you were.  Entertain me, please.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_its-not-just?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:0809acd9-73d6-4d26-a430-397ede1100d1Post:649f75cd-2bba-4b23-b3c3-ad35511cba2e">Re: It's not just me</a>:
    [QUOTE]   It is the entitlement, in any shape or form, that makes me crazy.  

    <<strong>Skips off to tell DH about the GREAT idea I have for our 5 year anniversary</strong> />  ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    Totally agree on the entitlement issue.  Unfortunately I see it in the younger generation even if we aren't talking about a pretty princess day.

    As your skipping off, does your plan include crashing those of us attempting to steel your thunder on the 8th?  I'd totally make room for you at the reception!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    130image Invited to dance the night away!
    92image Want to show their best moves!
    38image Have two left feet and won't be dancing!
    0image Are too embarrased to say they don't dance!

  • edited December 2011
    Sure!  I haven't been to Colorado since the mid-80's!  If you are going to steal my thunder, I at least ought to be there to see it.  

    <Adds stolen thunder to the argument as to why I should get another wedding. />
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm too old for a Pretty Princess Day so can I have an Ugly Haggy Queen Day instead? :p
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I love the idea of a Haggy Queen Day (and you are certainly NOT ugly)! 

    Let's start that now.  Perhaps we should just make it a national holiday.  I declare, from this day henceforth, every March 25 Haggy Queen Day.   Whaddya think? 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_its-not-just?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:0809acd9-73d6-4d26-a430-397ede1100d1Post:80b8cb7b-a70a-47c2-baa9-4145e1ca34d7">Re: It's not just me</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love the idea of a Haggy Queen Day (and you are certainly NOT ugly)!  Let's start that now.  Perhaps we should just make it a national holiday.  I declare, from this day henceforth, every March 25 Haggy Queen Day.   Whaddya think? 
    Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

    Only if I can have an A list and a B list
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    A list and B list.  LOL!   If you get that, then I get to inlcude registry information on the invitations.  HA!   
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I just got an invite to my other "son"s wedding.  Registry info was included.
  • edited December 2011
    Please tell me it's an official holiday and I can take the day off.  I may need the eve off also, to shop for my dress and find shoes to match.  And to find me a personal chef to marinate the roast something that will be served to me.  And to choose a wine to match the roast something.  Oh, oh, and to choose the items for the dessert cart that will follow my dinner.  ~Donna
  • AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Dont forget the BYOB on the invite too, along with the potluck checklist. 

    I volunteer to be the fat lady singing at the end of the event Embarassedof HaggyQueen Day!

    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I will make the invitations ... Or better yet ... I'll make my students do them and offer extra credit ...

    I am paying for my own pretty princess day ... I can have what I want since it's my (& FH's) money ...
    Wedding Countdown Ticker PhotobucketPhotobucket June 2012 Siggy Challange - Shoes
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    What?  No one has yet proposed charging admission?
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, at my Haggy Queen day i'm going to make it a pot luck, and make everyone tell me what they're bringing beforehand so I can give them the OK on whether that's acceptable fare. And if they don't bring anything, then they can either be forcefully thrown out, or sit there and watch everyone else eat. I'm bringing armed guards to enforce the policy!
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    LOL Can I join in on Haggy Queen Day if I'm not married yet? Or could we just change the date to better suit me - I AM entitled after all!!! LOL

    Yeah, the younger generation that assume that they are owed something just gets the hackles up.

    If you bought a license,  had a ceremony and  ended up legally married (it doesn't matter where it happened childe) YOU HAD A WEDDING!!!   Why is that so difficult for people to figure out?  Not having the big to-do doesn't make the marriage any less valid. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_its-not-just?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:0809acd9-73d6-4d26-a430-397ede1100d1Post:649f75cd-2bba-4b23-b3c3-ad35511cba2e">Re: It's not just me</a>:
    [QUOTE]You know its not just you!!  Here's my beef:  when someone chooses to get married in a small unassuming way-- it is their choice.  (And I know we already debated whether or not a military deployment gets a buy.)  It may be their choice because they don't want to wait because of (a) pregnancy, (b) insurance & illness, (c) financial issues, (d) general impatience or something else.   It may be the way they desire to marry each other.  Each of us has to live with our choices and the consequences of those choices.  If you want to be married well before the birth of a child, and to do that you decide to go to the JOP and have cake & punch at home for immediate family afterwards, fine.  But you chose that path.  A year later, deciding that you are entitled to a poufy dress, a champagne fountain and lavish dinner/dance is where my hackles will be up.  If that is what you wanted, then wait to get married until you can plan and have it.  What means more to you?  It is the entitlement, in any shape or form, that makes me crazy.  Five years ago, we had our wedding/reception at the venue we could afford.  Next door is a beautiful historic building that was way more expensive, and is booked up well in advance.  We CHOSE not to book there, because it didn't fit our budget or our timeline.  If I decided today that I was entitled to a reception there, and therefore I was going to have another wedding/reception-- there's no one who would think I was anything but nuts.  It's really not that different.  <Skips off to tell DH about the GREAT idea I have for our 5 year anniversary />  ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It's not just you guys. I believe that the wedding you choose or that circumstances choose for you is your wedding. The marriage begins when you say your vows, wether that's in a courthouse, in a church, or in a big white gown in front of people. 

    </div>
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Amen Sarah!
  • edited December 2011
    Nice to meet you guys by the way:)
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