Second Weddings

surprise wedding? maybe or maybe not

hi, i'm new on here, but not new to wedddings.. this will be my 3rd wedding, and my fiance's 2nd. we both have a child each, he has a 10 year old boy, and i a 7 year old girl.. the kids are like, just do it already, fiance' and i were planning a big bash, then decided to surprise the family and our kids and get married on christmas this year.  we don't want our family and friends buying gifts, and we just want to  get married and get on with our lives. the plan so far is to tell the family at thanksgiving, that we want everyone to dress up  for christmas dinner and  show up with an officiant to marry us in his grandmother's living room, on christmas day.  the problem is.. how do we keep this a secret from everyone including our kids? is this impossible to pull off? does anyone have any suggestions?

Re: surprise wedding? maybe or maybe not

  • edited December 2011
    WOW kitkat that is a stretch.  I don't know how you can pull that off without anyone knowing.  Could you at least let grandma know since her home is going from Christmas dinner to wedding ceremony?  LOL.  Maybe you could tell them that you have been wanting to do a family portrait and you know of someone that can do that on Christmas Day since everyone will be in one place and dressed up.  That way you have everyone there and dressed however you have chosen their attire to be.  If you are in charge of the "portrait" then you can choose how everyone is dressed. 
  • edited December 2011

    Thats a fabulous idea but the key to pulling it off will be obessing over each and every detail to keep it a surprise.  I think it is a bit difficult to just randomly ask people to get dressed up -- that would certainly make me suspicious.  I love the idea of telling people its for a family portrait.  I also agree with the PP on the site -- its one thing for Grandma to host Christmas, but to be the sudden host of a wedding is a different story.  Anyway you could have this at your place?  Tell everyone that you gift is a family portrait, and when they arrive SURPRISE, its actually a wedding.  However.... I know my kids are super smart when it comes to sniffing out surprises... I dont have any advice on how to keep it from them, without all out lying.  Fabulous idea and I wish you the best of luck with all the planning!

  • edited December 2011
    Different opinion - I strongly dislike this idea.  Its only my opinion, but if I were your sibling, mother, etc, it would really bug me that you co-opted the family Christmas celebration to make it all about you. 

    Obviously you know your family & situation, and only you two can judge it.  ~Donna
  • edited December 2011
    My concern is you being able to getting an officient on Christmas Day. I would think that they typically don't work on Christmas Day. I guess you could have a family member get ordained on line and that would work. 
    Good luck and keep us posted on what you decide.
  • kitkat2003kitkat2003 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks so much for ur thoughts and suggestions. telling grandma is a good idea, the reason we are thinking of doing it there is cuz everyone definately goes to grandma's, to have it here, folks may not make it over. the  reason we are doing it this way is so that family can actually be there, not trying to make it all about  us, but i think its a great way to not make folks feel like they  need to spend on a gift.  still thinking about it though.
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    These can also, with some twists, be called Guerilla Weddings, in that they're usually not planned out in the same way other weddings are.   Look on offbeatbrides.com for more info, or just google that term. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    I love the idea!  Go for it!
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  • elizabethm4elizabethm4 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My parents got married 30 years ago in their living room. They invited everyone over for a party and the only people who knew it was a wedding was their parents. All their friends showed up and were surprised, and everyone had a great time.
  • AmethystLdy28AmethystLdy28 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I totally LOVE the idea, but not so much the date. I would opt more for the idea of telling everyone you decided to have an all out party (naybe on New Years?) That way you could even involve the kids in the planning, telling them that it's just a fancy party and then when they get there....suprise! It's a wedding :)

    Diana :)
  • kitkat2003kitkat2003 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    this is the dress i am thinking about.. what do you think?


  • pierrette123pierrette123 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Great idea!  I so would have done that if I could have gotten away with it.  You're very brave if you do.
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