I divorced a few years ago under some extremely unpleasant circumstances. Although I didn't/don't feel obligated to provide the world an explanation as to what happened, let's just say that those in the know all place 99% of the blame on my XH, and agree that my physical and mental health were endangered by that marriage.
ETA: My XH is not a bad person, at all... he was high-functioning with some mental illness issues that got increasingly severe about a year into marriage, and that he refused to get help for.
Fast forward to this year, I had just gotten engaged to a wonderful man. Back in May, we moved up our wedding date by almost a year when we learned we are expecting our first child. Obviously, this scaled back the wedding budget/size/scope greatly.
We both have large families (mine is large, FI's unusually so), making some guest list decisions difficult. Relatives won out over friends in the end, as FI is very close to his family, and I thought I was close to mine. My parents wanted more of my extended fam included than originally wanted/planned, and offered to cover the cost of their invitations/plates. His family RSVPd right away that they were ecstatic and flying in from all over the world to attend.
The majority of my relatives not only declined to attend (from one state away) but a good chunk of those felt it necessary to call my parents with really nasty comments that basically indicated I was at fault for my divorce, that second weddings are tacky and greedy (FI's never been married for the record), accusing me of getting pregnant on purpose to upstage my sister (getting married next spring),etc. My parents, who claim to be happy and love FI, aren't to my knowledge defending me. I do know that they're still maintaining active relationships with these people.
I am beyond hurt that my family is being so vile, as well as I'm having to deal with fallout from our zillion friends/acquaintances who are butthurt they weren't invited. Part of me is upset that I wasted invitations on my obvioulsy sh*thead relatives when there are friends I'd have wanted to invite more, part of me is pissed that I'm being given such a f***ing hard time while I'm dealing with a high-risk pregnancy.
Is this even normal behavior for a second wedding in 2010, or am I totally reasonable to completely cut ties with the majority of my blood relatives over this nonsense? I don't want these people to so much as know when our son is born after the things they've said about me.
How do I fix it with the friends who I wanted to invite, but wouldn't have been able to afford had my relatives attended?