First stupid parents, now stupid MOH???

AmyLou75

Ok ladies, I need some help. I have been having issues with my MOH (lack of help, lack of any enthusiasm etc...) So this weekend, I was having dinner with some friends and they asked when I was having a bachlorette party. I told them my MOH wasn't planning anything (she had already told me that since this was my 2nd marriage, she didn't think she should do anything). However, FI's BM is getting some guys together and they are going to have a nice dinner and then do the bar that BM plays guitar for and hang out and have drinks and relax (they are a much older crowd) So, I thought it would be a good time to ask MOH is she wanted to plan something simular for the same night since we live 2 hours away - her exact working on her email was "if you want to plan something, I will try to come, but don't expect me to pay for anything" Now, my thought was to have everyone pay for their own food/drinks, but at leas to get everyone together, now I have to plan it all myself???? What would you do and how would you respond to your MOH if she stated this to you?

pamila51510

Ugh! This does not sound like a fun person.  I am not sure what I would do.  I picked my MOH because I knew she would be available and willing to be part of this whole experience.  Good luck.  I guess I would ask her what exactly was bothering her. Something must be.

jeannigirl

Well since she has made it clear that she is not going to host or pay for this BS then theirs nothing that you can really do.  She doesn't have to throw you one thats not a requirement.  If you want to just hang with your friends and your WP do a casual thing than and just hang together.I know that its hurtful not to have someone plan a BS for you but your don't plan one for yourself. I would just not let something like that bother me and just go about finishing any wedding details that I had left. I wouldn't say anything to my MOH has that would sound like she wasn't doing something other than purchase her attire and stand beside you on your day.

right1thistime

If your friends were asking you about it, then perhaps they would be open to just a girls' night out - as suggested.  If you just suggest - "hey, since the guys are all going to XBar, how about the 5 of us head over to Tootsie's and hang out?"- I don't think you need to foot the entire bill.  Let MOH know when and where, and that it will be everyone pays their own way, and he can come if she can.  The requirements of a MOH are to buy the dress you choose, wear it on the date you choose, show up on time and possibly hold your bouquet for the vows and ring ceremony, and also possibly sign your marriage license/certificate.  If your MOH doesn't do those things, then you are having issues. They are not required to be helpful OR enthusiastic.  OF COURSE it's nice if they are. If MOH stated that to me, I would respond by saying, "I understand.  I will let you know if we end up doing anything, and you can let me know if the time and finances work for you.  It would be awesome to hang out together, I miss you."   ~Donna