Handfast----

mma3

Please, please do NOT be offended by the JOP thing.  What I was thinking and the way that it came out were totally different.  It doesn't matter where and how we get married and surely not by whom.  What matters is that we are joining our lives with the one we love.  That said, when I got married I knew in the bottom of my heart the only reason I was doing it was because he was the father of my child.  What I meant by "no one being there" was that even though I had doubts about what I was doing I was not ready to hear them from my family.  I am not always proud of the choices I made in life but I don't regret them.  I just wish that at 23 I had a little more sense and a better understanding of myself.  Again, I am truly sorry if I offended you in any way as that was not my intention.  I need to re-read some of my thoughts before I just blindly post them. 

handfast4me

Hey there- thanks, I truly appreciate it. No offense taken--I think I just need to be not so sensitive.  I guess it springs from so many people raising their eyebrows at the way DH and got married, and several people inferring that DH was embarrassed by me and that's why he insisted on a private ceremony and the "we didn't have a real wedding because we didn't have a big party afterwords" statements by so many women when they ran off to the JOP.  The norm is the big wedding, I guess, because it's an INDUSTRY so we're all trained to think that way.  I'm here to break the molds!  :-)  

pamila51510

Handfast I just have to say i admire you for having your wedding the way you wanted to have it! I think if people did that more they would be a lot happier!  I got scolded on another board because I will be 38 when I get married and am wearing a tiara.  It made me laugh. Heck, if I want to wear a tiara striped tights and fairywings its my right as it is my day.  If you wanted it just to be you with your wonderful man then by all means that is the way it should be. Thats what you did and I am sure it helped make it more of a us moment and what you wanted. Cheers! 

handfast4me

Exactly!!!! Because it was DH and I alone, we were able to share some things that I would not have if we'd had others there.  It was much more special that way.  Funny you should mention the fairy wings. At one point, we were actually talking about doing a Ren-themed wedding--and a friend who isn't very educated was confusing that with sort of a fantasy-star wars-trekkie theme, and she wanted to wear wings. Oh dear.   I got my undergrad degree in Music, and that's what I specialized in, is early music--mostly from the Renaissance period, and it would have been a good way to stay in the broom closet while still having our handfasting.  We discussed so many options, a cruise, going to Scotland, etc. that when we came right down to it, we realized is all we needed was the two of us and the official.  And so that's what we did.

2dBride

I'll be 56 on my wedding day, and NotFroofy will be 41.  And both of us will be wearing tiaras, veils (with blushers), etc.  I'd like to see anyone try to tell us we can't!

mma3

I personally feel that no one else can decide what is best for us and that we are all unique.  As I said before at the end of the day it doesn't matter who or where we choose to get married only that we are making that commitment.  Don't worry about other people's comments.....people are truly scared of anything outside the norm.  As you said society has molded people's thought processes and change is hard. 

futurestepmama

Good for all of you tiara-wearers!  I can't wait for my wedding.  In attendance will be me, my FI, MAYBE his kids, and maybe my parents.  More than likely just the 2 of us, though.  It will be much more of a "real wedding" than my first with poof and glitter and 400 guests.To each her own!