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Relationship with the ex-ILs

VAtoCOVAtoCO member
100 Comments
in Second Weddings
Especially for those who don't have kids with your ex, do you still maintain any kind of relationship with your ex-ILs? I exchange holiday cards and sometimes birthday cards with my ex-ILs and ex-grandparentILs. I - obviously - am getting remarried and recently found out that my ex is getting remarried next year. I wonder if it is inappropriate for me to stay in contact now that there will be a new wife in the picture. I do not want to be disrespectful of my ex's new wife. Perhaps I'm overthinking (as usual!). TIA!
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Re: Relationship with the ex-ILs

  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If you're still friends with them, and your new spouse is OK with it, I don't think you should worry about anyone else. Dang, though, you're awful sweet to think of the ex's new wife. 
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    My DH still occasionally has dinner with his ex in-laws.  They were family for years, its fine with me. ~Donna
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    When I got divorced, my mother-in-law made a point of taking me aside and saying, "I would never come between a husband and wife, but I just want you to know that you have been our daughter for 20 years, and as far as I'm concerned, you still are."  I stayed in contact with them until they both lost so much mental capacity (one to Alzheimer's, one to a series of strokes) that they weren't really "there" anyway.  When my FI arrived in this country, she had brunch with my son and my former mother-in-law the next morning.  (Yeah, I threw her in at the deep end!)  My ILs pretty much adopted her, too.Both of my ex-ILs died this summer.  They will be remembered in the program for our wedding.As far as I'm concerned, you stick with the people you love, regardless of changes in legal relationships.
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Fourteen of my ex-ILs were invited to my wedding, eight of whom traveled long distances to be here.  To quote his grandmother after he left me: "you divorced her; we didn't".  Family is family, and I'm still close to these people regardless of our divorce. It's not inappropriate for you to stay in contact in a respectful manner. 
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  • VAtoCOVAtoCO member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the quick responses, ladies.
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  • jessiebrjessiebr member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Your dress is my first choice too!!!  love it love it love it!!!  It looks amazing on you!
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  • photo_jewelsphoto_jewels member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    whatever floats your boat. my FSIL had her ex inlaws to her wedding and they also watch her baby she had with her DH. Her ex ILs also show up to birthday parties and random events.
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  • Stephanie24/7Stephanie24/7 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    They don't like me, never will. I don't like them either. I have kids but they never call my kids just too say hi or anything. When my kids call they are always busy. I mean who can blame them there son is on what wife number 3 or 4.
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  • karma007karma007 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Mine hate me for leaving my ex, and although I've always wanted to contact them, I figured it was better for everyone if I just dissapeared.
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  • joyangelajoyangela member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Im very close with my ex-inlaws.  My ex-sister-in-law is one of my bridesmaids, and my ex-mil and fil, are not only coming to the wedding, but also insist on paying fo my gown, veil, shoes and jewelry.  The kicker is that my ex-mil is best friends with my FI's mom.  I do have an 11 year old son with my ex, and they just adore him so much.  They have been my family for the last 13 years, i wouldnt give them up for anything, and my ex doesnt expect me too.  He and his girlfriend will be invited to the wedding as well. Just remember, your family is what you make it!  
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