Second Weddings

Wedding shower?

I am getting married in a little over a month after being widowed for almost 4 years.  My FI was also married before for 27 years.  People have asked about #1) if we are registered or plan to do so  #2) if anyone is throwing me/us a shower?  Just want opinions on if either is appropriate.  Thanks!Christina[url=][img][/img][/url]

Re: Wedding shower?

  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We did not register.  Just didn't see the point since we have two households of stuff, and 3 sets of china.  Most of our family gave us checks, and most friends gave us gift cards.  Several asked us about preferred stores for gift cards, so we do have a fair amount to spend at one store in particular.My co-workers gave me a surprise shower over a lunch hour.  Pot luck, and it was really fun.  Other than that, we didn't have any bach parties or other bridal showers.Both are appropriate, if you feel like that's what you want to do.  Don't worry about the 'rules' - there aren't any!
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    REGISTER!!!!!  If they offer you a shower, then be gracious when you decline, or even more gracious when you accept.  Obviously, your friends and family LOVE you and want to show you how happy they are for you.  This is the way they know how to do it.  To shower you with gifts.  On this board, we've had the chili pepper lamp story for a couple of years.  One of the second brides here didn't need anything, so she didn't register.  One of the gifts she recieved was a chili pepper lamp which did not match her decor at all, and which she was forced to display due to it being given by a close friend who visited often. I registered for things that I could use an "upgrade" on.  I mean really, who can't use new towels and more sheets?  And although I didn't need them, the red spatulas were a perfect match to my kitchen decor. I had a few close girlfriends who offered to throw me shower. So I made a deal with them that we'd have an evenng together, as a combo-bachelorette /shower deal, and we made it more of a ritual dinner, where we offered one another well wishes and dreams for one another.  It was a wonderful evening of pizza, beer, and ice cream :-)
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We registered, after hearing the chili pepper lamp story.  The registry page on our site says that no one needs to give us gifts, and that we consider those who are helping out with our wedding in some way to have already given a gift.  But for those who are determined to give one, we may as well make it something we'd actually want.On the shower thing, I have never understood the appeal of showers, either for my first wedding or for this one.  I don't want guests who have given me a big present that can't be wrapped (like the one who is doing the video of the ceremony) to look bad.  Nor do I want to embarrass those of our friends who may be struggling financially.  And I don't want to figure out how to look equally enthusiastic about every gift, even ones that are duplicates.  However, if you like showers, they are as appropriate for a second wedding as for a first.
  • edited December 2011
    I registered after that story being mentioned before.  Just at JC pennys so that way people can upgrade our stuff if they wish to.  Having a bridal shower because I have a friend who really wants to throw me one. They wanna do it so I said ok. She loves to throw parties so why not.
  • edited December 2011
    We registered and we had a shower. My FMIL, my SIL, my MOH, and Mom wanted to throw us one. We made it a casual co-ed bar-b-que shower picnic. It was fun! My second choice would have been a lingerie party with just the girls! We registered at Sears, so fiance could get tools. We also registered two other places for things that we didn't nescessarily need, but could use a new version of! Good luck!
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