Second Weddings

newbie w/background

Hi all... First some background: I am a military widow with a 3 yr old son, my DH was KIA in Iraq almost 3 years ago, our son was just 2 months old. So it's been a long journey for us but I have literally stumbled into love again with a wonderful guy. We are planning a wedding for spring/summer 2010 but as this is my second wedding (his first) there are so many "ifs and" "what about". I am close (but not as close as I am to my family) with my DH's family and I have reservations about inviting them to the wedding. Family drama and emotions. FI and I have decided to get married in Vegas as we will be planning things with short notice since he is also in the military. I plan on inviting my parents and a few close friends the few that have stuck by my side through this all. He is limiting his to his immediate family. The problem is that there is some of DH's family I wouldn't mind being there but if I am of the mind if I invite one I must invite all. Also, we are footing the bill for everything (I think it's only fair and we have the means to do so) but I am not a fan of receptions and would choose not to have one but feel obligated to do so. Any advice on invites and receptions? TIA, Corinna

Re: newbie w/background

  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Welcome to the board!  I am so sorry for the loss of your first husband, and sooooo glad you found love again.  I had the toughest job in the Army--Army wife :-)  with my first husband.  He was injured in the line of duty, had a head injury, and it totally changed his personality.  We stuck together for 13 more years, but we could never get the marriage back to even fair.  We had different goals, and so we divorced. I remarried over a year ago to another disabled vet (although I didn't go through the accident and recovery with him--we met after all of that).  And, my sister just left active duty as a Lt Col., but will be in the reserves--where she was before she was activated to go to Afghanistan. I'm hoping they've had enough of her, even if she is at war college this week.  :-(    Could you ask you fi if there are some that he could leave out?  I understand about having to invite everyone, but you can always draw a line, such as "first cousins only" or siblings and their SOs.   Anyway, best wishes to you!
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks... FI is only inviting his parents and siblings and me only my parents and a few close friends. The issue is my DH's family all believe they are invited. I like my inlaws BUT not all are ready or supportive of this step in my life... I kinda only want the people who are 100% supportive to be in attendance.
  • edited December 2011
    Hey just wanted to say welcome! My thoughts, if you are not a fan of receptions, don't have one. Don't feel obligated to do anything you don't want to. And certainly, don't invite (I'm not sure why they would come anyway) someone who is not supportive of your situation. Trust me, you don't get any points anywhere for this. If you wind up having 8-10 friends and relatives, pick a nice restaurant in Vegas and all go out to dinner! And our answer has been, sorry, we are paying for everything ourselves and decided to keep it small.
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