It's an epidemic LOL!

handfast4me

I found another one whose divorce (or her fiance's, sorry, details not important here) isn't final yet.  And everyone's advice was not to plan, at least as of this writing.  For us old, regulars, what did you think about the epidemic reference?  PS--everyone have their flu shot yet?

right1thistime

Of course this would come from YOU!  ROFLMAOSeasonal flu two weeks ago.  I'm "tier 3" (of 3) for novel H1N1, so until the barge pulls in, I'll be hustling the staff to the clinics, but standing outside looking in. Perhaps we should ask an epi to look into this new situation, figure out the common denominators and shared characteristics?

LaLaPatches

Well I am divorced now, but I was not divorced when I started dating my FI.  I was in the process, but had been in the process for quite some time.  My ex and I split up in March 2007 and signed the papers in October 2007, but then he didn't pay the lawyer (though he was supposed to and I had already given him my half of the money. We filed together) So I then had to file myself to get anything done, and he is the type of person to drag his feet on everything, so it took forever.  I wouldn't want to be planning a wedding while being technically still married, but I was still married when I met my FI and knew I wanted to marry him before my divorce was final.  So I guess it's all about bad timing for some people. 

handfast4me

Let's see, does anyone know of a good epi?  I know of a bad one.  ha ha ha!  I had my regular seasonal flu, I'm way down the tier for H1N1 due to age (over 50, the older folks don't seem to be as affected).  However, my pregnant daughter has me scared.  The studies are showing that 1 in 4 pregnant women who contract H1N1 are dying.  And the shot isn't available yet.  Right now its the nasal injection, and that isn't approved for pregnant women.  Plus, her OB, who apparently thinks he's an ID doc, too, says he's not going to give H1N1 to his pregnant patients in his pratice.  WTF?  So, I will find someone in her county to give it to her, and just pay whatever it takes as soon as it's available. 

right1thistime

Congrats on the impending g-ma hood, I may have missed that news.  That is the scariest sector of the population, I agree.  She's lucky to have a mom that's going to get her what she needs.  Make sure her dh gets one asap as well, I'm sure you knew that.

right1thistime

La-La :  I too starting dating before my divorce was final.  DH and I were very discreet during that time (and it was VERY early in our relationship).  For me- the marriage had been over for years by the time we seperated.  But we (now DH and I)basically did not present ourselves publically as a "couple" until I was divorced.  I filed, I paid all the costs of the divorce and I moved the process along.  xH didn't start causing trouble until a couple of weeks after the divorce was approved.

handfast4me

I sort of HAD to wait.  First, I'm in the bible belt.  I knew that the judge would take everything into account, and sure enough he did.  I ended up paying 4 years worth of "alimony" via paying off his graduate school loans.  More to the story, but it's boring, and it's over, and I'm remarried to a great guy.  I could have dated before the divorce was final, and like right1, my marriage was really over years before we separated.  Thanks for the congrats--we were keeping it sort of quiet until she was in her second trimester, so I can't remember who I've told and who I haven't.  The baby is due--now get this--St. Patty's Day!  Who would have dreamed?  :-) 

SharranMatt

Well I dating my now DH before my divorce was final but I had been separated from my ex for 3 years and custody issues and his lack of responsibility made the divorce drag on for that long. I didnt get engaged until after the divorce was final.

MacLeod2b

DH and I started "dating" almost as soon as my separation was official, which in retrospect, was not the best idea. Mike has been one of if not my best friend since I was about 15, and has apparently been in love with me just as long, so while he really wanted to be a couple, I wasnt emotionally ready and we went back and forth between friends and coupledom for several months. I still think though that I wouldnt have handled the divorce as well as I did if it werent for him. We got engaged about 6 months after my divorce was finalized, which still was too soon for a lot of people, but we also had a ton of people yelling "its about time!!". Its all about perspective, and what's right for you. But I have to say I would not recommend getting engaged etc when your previous marriage is still undissolved. There are just too many emotional hurdles left to go through in my opinion. I dont think you can really commit the emotional resources that are required for either one if you're trying to do them at the same time.   Thats just me though.

right1thistime

I picked up a Redbook while my DS was getting his hair cut yesterday.  Question of the month (or some such thing) was is it OK to start dating seriously before your divorce is final?  So apparently this is a hot topic (and perhaps epidemic as well, LOL)  Quite interestingly, the responses (from readers?) were by a vast majority-- date but don't get serious.  However, there was one that wrote, "dating when you are still married is still adultery, and a sin"  and one that wrote, "go for it- only YOU know if you are ready to be serious".   So, there is a pretty widespread expanse of opinions both on and off the knot.

lysandramarie

Wow, MacLeod2b my story is very similar.  Although I was actually only friends with my FI for about 2 years before my separation.  We started dating not long after my separation but I wasn't emotionally ready so we did break up for a few months and then tried again - and two and a half years later here we are getting married in 5 months!We had the exact same mixture of reactions to our engagement (which was about 9 months after my divorce was final) - some people thought too fast and same said "finally!"

pamila51510

I was lazy and didn't file for a long time just didn't matter to me or to him we were done. He started living with someone else long before I actually filed. I didn't date for a long time didn't really want to. I started dating my FI and I told him I wasn't divorced. I knew it was time. We filed jointly on Friday and it was final the following Friday! Gotta love Nevada! Quicky marriages Quicky Divorces. He proposed a month later.

2dBride

Apparently, I'm really slow.  I was divorced in 1996, began dating my now-wife in 2000, and just got married.Oh, and I got my regular flu shot, and am waiting impatiently until I can get the H1N1 shot.