Hi everyone!

BillsGN Bride

I just wanted to introduce myself! I am recently engaged, my fi proposed on the beach in California On October 4.  No really date set yet, but we are planning on possibly doing it in Las Vegas (we met there, fell in love there.. thought maybe we should just get hitched there as well!).  We are both divorced, so this will be a second wedding for the both of us.  It's strange too, after I was divorced I remember saying "I'm never getting married again!" Little did I know a few months later I'd meet my future husband! But I think in the long run going through something as hard a going through a divorce really made me think about what I really and truly want in a husband.  I am so very happy and excited about this big life change, this time around I vow not to spend time fretting over details of wedding planning and just look forward to life infront of me.  But I have questions too.. since this board is for second time brides... does the wedding planning process feel different to you?  My mom says that there are certain rules for second time brides (not wearing white, no veil.. etc..) while I am reading that second time brides can do pretty much whatever they wish, I wonder if certain rules really do apply? Starting the wedding planning process again seems .. more fun to me this time, I feel like I will be doing what he and I think is best..not so much what family thinks.  But I still want to be able to keep mom happy... While she isn't paying for any part of it I still feel like I should try and keep her happy (more traditional.. opposed to my idea of a fun, free spirited wedding).  I know weddings are a lot of work any tips on how to make it easier on yourself?Thanks, I look forward to talking to you all!Cathy

NYHarleyBride

Congratulations Cathy and welcome! So...there are no rules (I just love that)! And if there were, who would come after you, the wedding police? I really didn't think I wanted a veil, but my mother (surprisingly) was the one that talked me into it. Other than that, we did everything the way WE wanted it. That is the best part. There is no way you can please everyone, and liek you, we paid for it all. So, we learned to shake our heads and say,thanks fro the great suggestion and move on and do it how we wanted. In the end, everyone had a great time and raved about how everything went.As far as making it easier, everyone is different. We pretty much put an estimate of the budget togethrt and guest list/number of people up front and worked from there. Also, I kept everything in a spreadsheet (just the way I am used to working) and it was easy to add in a dessert, extra hour of drinks, people, etc and see how it effected the price and overall plan. Feel free to ask questions. The ladies here are a wealth of knowledge and very welcoming.

BillsGN Bride

Oh thanks! I like the idea of a spreadsheet, I like to keep organized, I was looking at Target and they had a big 3 ring notebook organizer thingy for wedding planning, not sure I wanna tote that thing around though.  I am going to see my mom today, she has been out of town since I got engaged so she wants to see me  (and check out the ring), I know she will have a lot to say! (wish me luck.. she can be brutal at times, but I love her just the same!).I am literally just starting the planning process. We don't have a date yet, not much of guest list, no venue, dress, heck we just though about getting bands the other night... lol we might need those!!

LesPaul

Hi Cathy!  No, there are no rules for second-timers.  Wear white, or not, wear a veil, or not.  Whatever you want to do.

txmom21

Welcome, Cathy and congratulations! As pps have said, there are no "rules". The fun about the second one is you have a better idea of what you want and how to make the day the way you and your FI want it. Enjoy the planning, and the ladies here have lots of advice and support to offer.

right1thistime

Cathy - Welcome!  The rule is you do what makes your (you AND fi) hearts sing.  So sit Mom down, tell her that the rule book went out the window, squee a little over your ring with her, and if she gets "brutal" practice the ICY STARE OF DEATH.  She may have invented it-- but honey, you have to PERFECT it.  LOL.  My mom nearly didn't go to my brother's wedding because his now wife was a divorcee.  Mom is hard core Catholic.  She got the icy stare of death from me, and the threat that she was signing her own exclusion clause.  In the end, Mom was there, partying with the crowd, drinking from the gallon size pickle jar full of vodka lemonade.  (Mom doesn't drink.)  By the time I got around to my second wedding, she was old hat at swinging along with the party.  If your idea is fun and free spirited, and your fi agrees, why would you sacrifice YOUR wishes to make your Mom happy?  That' the kind of thing that should be against the rules. ~Donna

pamila51510

No rules is the rule of the day!!! Do what you want and enjoy! I am actually in vegas and having a blast planning a wedding with no parents imput just what we want how we want. Have fun and you can check out my bio and see where I am getting married traditional place to get married but there are a million places to get married. Happy planning and welcome!!!

2dBride

I've just been through a wedding that was my second, and my wife's first.  She wanted a long ivory gown with a train (not white only because she doesn't think the color suits her) and a veil.  Although I initially thought I'd just get married in a nice outfit I already owned, I decided it was more important to please my wife than to worry about the rules.  I ended up wearing an ivory dress with a train, a tiara, and a veil with blusher--even though having both of my children as attendants would have been a tip-off that I was not actually a virgin.  Civilization As We Know It failed to end.  In fact, the only special reference to it being a second wedding for me was that my ex-husband (who attended and even gave the blessing over bread) jokingly said that he thought he should have given me away.

jeannigirl

Cathy Welcome and congrads. Yes this board is filled with very helpful and kind brides, also with a sense of humor. Has everyone said their are no rules even when others may say their is. Just have fun with your FI in planning the wedding. I am having the time of my life in planning our wedding. It is so totally different than the first has we just got married in the church that we were members in and a small reception in the fellowship Hall (Which was sooo LAME!) We are working on a budget and also going to be doing alot of DIY projects so I am excited for that. Found the perfect Venue, "The Dress" (OMG its diamond white) LOL Wasn't even wanting white at all when my girls found the perfect dress I knew it was the one. Tips would be don't let anyone tell you what you should be doing has a second bride, wear white, wear a veil, throw the boquet and garter. This is both you and FI's day. Enjoy this moment, I know I am. Will be excited to hear more from you has you begin this awesome time of planning. Yea we're all getting married!

thealphabride

Welcome Cathy! Do what makes you happy and mom will jump on board when she sees how happy you are. As far as the rules go for second time brides, Rules of Etiquette do still apply.  Congratulations and Best Wishes, happy planning.  

jeannigirl

So what are the Rules of Etiquette for second time brides???

LesPaul

Of course etiquette applies - you are hosting an event, and there are certain matters of courtesy to observe.  The 'rules' we are referring to are the ridiculous ones, such as: 'you can't wear white', 'you can't wear a veil', 'you can't invite 150 people', 'you can't have a registry anywhere', 'you can't have bridesmaids', etc.  Make your wedding fit you and your FI.  If you want just the two of you on a beach, do it that way.  If you want 350 people in a church, do it that way.  If you want to go the county clerk and see the JOP, do it that way.

jeannigirl

Thats what I was thinking but hate to assume anything.

BillsGN Bride

Thanks all for the warm welcome! Mom was suprisingly nice when I went to visit her. She is more concered about me moving after we are married, but that is a ways away and she seems very happy. ... She even offered to go dress shopping with me.. woot! Oy.. now where to start!

ck9586

I'm still swearing I won't get married again, but I think that's because my ex and I just finished all official ties and contact thru daughter so it's deep breath yay he's gone time. Definitely no rules. Do whatever you want. Standing on a streetcorner in denim and biker boots if that's what floats your boat. This is to please you and your groom. That's all. It is different this time because you've been through it. You know it can be survived, but this time make it a little better than survivable :-)Have a great great time shopping with your mom---I'd still be afraid to attempt that but more power to you! We're all here, all questions or long screaming rants welcome. 'Cause we've all done it.

ChickenArms

Maybe it's just me. But the rules seemed to be for the first timers. I feel like I can do whatever I want and I am really enjoying the process this time. This is my REAL wedding.

TheEncoreBride

Cathy,Welcome! The only "rule" we have around here is that there are no rules. Please do what you and your FI are comfortable with, we've been through the "I must do this for so and so" knowing that it wasn't what we truly wanted. This time around, have fun with it baby!Brenda