Second Weddings

Second Shower...Host??

I have been married once before, but my fiance has not. He has remained pretty quiet on the whole idea of a shower, but was fully involved in all of the registering. 2 of my BP (my sis as MOH and an old friend as a BM) are appearing in the BP for the second time. My mom and sis gave me my first shower and I don't think they can afford to do it again...In fact, my mom has said that if my FSIL wants to throw the shower that my mom will help, but doesn't think she can do it on her own. I also don't think I want my family and friends to feel they have to buy another shower gift...let alone how I feel about them giving wedding gifts. The only thing my fiance has said about a shower is that he thinks the women in his family would like us to have one so they can celebrate with me. Here's the question: Do I approach anyone about a shower? Do I ask my sis to approach my FSIL? Do I involve my fiance? Or do I just sit back and see what happens? (I guess I am worried about what his family will think if no one in my family gets the ball rolling??)I have plenty of time (wedding's not til August), but I am worried about how to handle it.

Re: Second Shower...Host??

  • edited December 2011
    While I think I would sit back and wait, which to me, seems the best idea, if your family knows his family well enough to suggest co-hosting, that would be acceptable as well.  I truly do not think that YOU should be approaching anyone about throwing a party designed for the sole purpose of giving you gifts.  So if your sister or mom wants to call them to say, "Melissa is not comfortable having a shower with our side of the family, so we are honoring her request.  If you are planning on hosting something, we would be happy to help."  ~Donna
  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just let it happen naturally, I would not suggest going to anyone. They are all adults and if someone wants to throw you one they can do it without your involvment.
  • MEKT2010MEKT2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My brother got married last year and my SIL had been married before.  We knew that we wanted to throw her a shower because we wanted to celebrate their union.  I will also say we were alittle slow to get on the ball for it.  For my first marriage  my family was on top of it.  I just think you dont worry about it was much when its the guy, cause really that is we had to plan.  Just give it some time and see what happens.  I will be honest with you this time around, I really dont want  shower one less thing to have to worry with, but if someone offers that I guess I will take them up on it.  HTH
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