Second Weddings

Notes to my Family

our upcoming wedding will be my second but my hunny's first. My family all lives out of state and traveled for my first. As much as we want them to attend our special day neither of us want them to feel obligated to come especially because many of them dont have the means to make the trip without straining their budgets. Whats the best way for us to let them know that we'd love to have them but wont be offended if they cant make it... Maybe we're stressing about it but we dont want them to feel like we're being greedy... any ideas or advice?

Re: Notes to my Family

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    While your heart is in the right place, the answer is you don't do this.  You invite who you like to attend and let them make the decision.  2nd weddings are pretty common now so just let them make their decision and let it go. You sound very gracious and I'm sure your guests will know your true intent.
  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just send out your invites and it will be up to them to make that decision if they are able to attend your wedding. It is kind of you to think of them. If they do call you and tell you they can't make it then be gracious has you are and tell them you truly understand and for them not to fret about it.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with both the posters above. This is one of the reasons we send save the dates out. It gave people who wantedto travel the time to plan and save. And, you will be surprised. There were some who we were sure would come, and opted out, and others we were pretty sure could not make it, but found a way.
  • edited December 2011
    I would disagree a bit.  If you are absolutely sure they cannot make it, I wouldn't invite them.  That can be perceived as a request for gifts.  As could sending an invite and then telling them its ok if they don't come.  Are you talking siblings?  Or aunts/ uncles/ cousins, etc.?  If its siblings, I would call them to let them know when the wedding is.  Gauge their reaction "oh great! we are so excited to make the trip" or "oh, so soon?  that might be difficult for us to fit into our budget."  At that point you can flesh out whether or not they can come, and then decide to invite them. If you get the latter answer, I would say the I understand piece.  For more extended family, I wouldn't invite them.  Can you plan  visit home to see them all some time after the wedding?  ~Donna
  • nmauser82nmauser82 member
    edited December 2011
    its presumptuous to decide who can and who can't afford to do something. Just invite everyone that you want to spend your day with. Let them decide for themselves if they can attend or not.
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