Second Weddings

Big or small? help

FI and I are trying to get our wedding planned for Febuary of next year. This is the second marriage for both of us and we each have a son mine 4 his 8. I need some insite because we are having trouble deciding on keeping it just us or having family at our wedding. We def know we want it at the beach which is about an 8 hour drive from us. Our first plan was to have it in Destin with our kids, parents, siblings, and grandparents (Which totals about 10-12 people). Then I started thinking about how much money we could save if just he and I went to the beach and got married.

My mom is one of my bffs and there is a chance that she would not be able to attend due to work..she is currently unemployed but will more than likely be employed by our wedding so if she has no vacation then she can't come. I wouldn't feel right if my fam wasn't there but his was. UGH does anyone have any advice.

Re: Big or small? help

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Congratulations and welcome!!

    The best advice that can be given for your situation is to have the wedding you and your FI want and can afford. 

    Since it is important that your mom be there, I would also talk with her about it.  She could always tell her new employer that she has a family obligation that she needs to attend and may miss a day of work. 
  • edited December 2011
    The two of you sit down with your favorite beverage, no kids, and envision what a wonderful wedding would look like, sound like, smell like, feel like, etc.  Who would be missed, if they weren't there (and it's ok if you decide that other than each other, the answer is no one.)  What will you see around you?  What will you hear?  

    Take that imagery and work it into the wedding you want.  The money will certainly be a factor -you won't be on the beach in Tahiti for under a hundred bucks, for example, but you can be on A beach.   You have time to work this out. ~Donna
  • vexievexie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm about to get married a second time as well.  We really struggled with what is appropriate for the second go-round and finally we just decided that since we're paying for it all ourselves we will do what ever it is that want and can realistically afford.  I'm having a real wedding with a real wedding dress and 75-80 guests in an amazing venue.   It's actually going to be better than my first wedding... and I'm sooo excited about it :)

    The way I looked at it is that I love this man and don't want to 'cheap out' just because I've done it before.  He and our relationship are super important to me so I want to plan a wedding that's reflective of how much I adore him (without going into debt! lol)
    84image 73image 11image Wedding date: June 11, 2011 :)
  • edited December 2011

    Right1 and Angie said it best.  It's what you want and what's important to you.

    Welcome and congrats.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    130image Invited to dance the night away!
    92image Want to show their best moves!
    38image Have two left feet and won't be dancing!
    0image Are too embarrased to say they don't dance!

  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Welcome! Again, i'll reiterate what everyone else said, do what makes you happy. For FI and I, it was important to us that our parents, grandparents, and aunt and uncles were invited. It was also very important to me that some of my dad's friends were invited, as they are like family to me . Overall we're inviting about 75 people but expecting a turnout of 50 (because of the high number of people coming from halfway across the country, many people are already giving us verbal regrets). I would say, really think about who is most important to you? If that group includes just your parents and a couple friends, do that. If it includes many family members, list everyone you want there and then narrow it down as necessary. Good luck! :)
  • edited December 2011
    Just going to add that if you are looking to do a Destination Wedding - to check out the DW Board (It is under "theme weddings - why?  I don't know...).  That might help you with some of the logistics of the beach wedding ideas.

    Otherwise - everyone covered it. 

    Congrats and Welcome!
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I decided to do a small beach wedding on Smathers Beach in Key West.  The B & B we stayed at offered the ceremony and photographer at a discount.  It was GREAT.  We had no friends, and no guests, and it was incredibly romantic, private, etc.  It was exactly what we wanted--so as pp have suggested, just figure out what is important to you, and plan within your budget for those important things.

    ****Oh, and Vexie, even though it was just the two of us, it was a REAL wedding.  A "fake" wedding is when you're already married to your husband, and pretend to have a wedding so you can have a pretty pretty princess day.  It has NOTHING to do with the dress, or the size of the guest list. ****
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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