Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Second Weddings
Second Weddings
New Discussion
Options

Y? Y? Y? Y?

right1thistimeright1thistime member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in Second Weddings
Why won't the Knot create a vow renewal board?  Why do we need a vow renewal board?  So everyone who made a CHOICE to not wait until they could afford a pretty pretty princess day, and had to get married RIGHT THIS MINUTE but now regrets that choice and wants attention and presents can all hang out together and share their stories of entitlement. 
:slams door:
:::leaves in a huff:::
Report Reply to Post

Re: Y? Y? Y? Y?

  • Options
    mdeidremdeidre
    First Comment
    Great idea, did you ask any of the moderators or anyone like that?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Some people want to do a vow renewal to reaffirm the promises made (and not have a PPD) especially after a number of years or staying together after a major trauma to the marriage.  

    Most vow renewals are not replete with the wedding gown and such - although there are those who do that which to me is weird.  And most are not done within one to two years of marriage. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Angie - I never ever had an issue with vow renewal until I came to the Knot.  The only people I had ever encountered who planned vow renewals were celebrating some significant number of years of marriage (25, 30, 50) or who had encountered some sort of truly adverse event that required they marry immediately and now were celebrating with a religious ceremony and a party.  And the reason to marry immediately was usually either deployment to a dangerous place or a significant health issue.  In both cases, death was possible. 
    What frosts my cupcakes is the have your cake & eat it too approach.  (notice that cake is featured twice in that sentence.  Mmmmmmm cake!!)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mdeidremdeidre
    First Comment
    I don't understand getting mad about people having vow renewals, either.  Why get mad about something someone else does that has absolutely no effect on you or your life?  It is absolutely correct to correct them in the fact that it isn't a wedding, but if they didn't get to go all out before and that's how they want to spend their money now, then good for them!  In this age of more divorces than marriages (I still don't know how that's even possible) it's great to me to see people saying "I would marry you again and again!"  I heard about this elderly couple that has renewed their vows every year on their anniversary for their entire marriage.  They have a small ceremony, she wears a nice dress with a veil and I think they said they do a honeymoon.

    As for people who would troll a vow renewal board, they should be booted for such behavior.  Don't deprive someone their chance to connect to others in their same situation just because of what other people might do.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mdeidremdeidre
    First Comment
    @RetreadBride, you can always fake an emergency root canal, lol.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I have no issue with the vow renewal as a personal re-commital between the two parties.  I think that's lovely.  Annually, monthly, daily-- I don't care, frankly.  That is about their relationship.

    The vow renewals that set my hair on fire - or rather the aspect of them that has that effect, is the entitlement.  "Because of a, b or c, we didn't get the event we deserve.  Therefore we will be holding a vow renewal to justify a party."  That is NOT about the commitment between the two parties.  That is about (a) having what others have had (i.e jealousy and envy), and/or (b) receiving what they think they deserve, either attention or gifts. 

    Invariably, they were not willing to sacrifice something in the immediate moment to obtain the ultimate object desired of (a) or (b)  above.  So they want to have their cake and eat it, too.  That whole entitled mentality, and lack of acceptance that decisions have consequences is what drives me nuts.  ~Donna
    Report Reply
  • Options
    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    See, diedre?  Like this post from above:
    Im in a similiar situation i got married right away to my husband at the courthouse for legalization of his immigration status. We love each other and it was the smart and finincial thing to do in the long run but planning a wedding now as if we were just engaged gets tough because it was like we aready did have the wedding short and quick and my ideal image of my wedding. We have put wedding planning off for 6 months because of stress of what to and where and mostly the cost. Im finally putting together a destination wedding and try to make the most of it. Its as big and fun as you make it, nothing is perfect.

    The poster and her husband (they do not get another wedding, they already had one) made a choice- quick and at the courthouse- because they decided that his immigration status was the most important thing,  Then.  She even admits that it was the smart & financially wise thing to do.  But then she decides she wants an engagement (ummm, no can do, can't be engaged and married to the same guy at the same time) and says it was "like we already did have the wedding."  Well... that would be...because she DID!  And now, she's stressed and worried about the cost.  Why get stressed out and spend money that stresses you out to do something that is already done? The whole circular logic here makes my brain weep. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards