My guy and I are planning on getting engaged and married this year. This will be my 2nd and his first. While I am excited at the prospect of getting engaged, I will so blah about the wedding itself. Funny enough, the first time around the engagement sucked and the wedding sucked, my ex did extremely lame proposal with as shallow as it is to say but a crappy ring, utterly refused to take engagement photos, and the wedding was stressful and lame with the only good part being a beautiful dress I had. This time around I am excited about getting engaged, because I know it will be sweet and romantic with a gorgeous ring, and I am looking forward to doing engagement photos that he agreed to do. But it's the wedding itself....I just feel so blah about it. I feel like we can't invite anyone but a couple of friends and his immediate family, since all of my family already was at the first wedding and my mother really doesn't like him. I don't even want to think about a dress, or first dance or vows. Yet the idea of running off to Vegas with just couple of friends makes me sad. I think his mom is far more excited by the idea of this wedding than I am, she adores me btw. It's almost to the point where I want to just let them plan everything, and I'll just show up....And I feel guilty for feeling this way, and to a point angry at myself that I wasted that excitement on the scum that my ex was.
Sorry for ranting, just needed to finally let it out.