His 2nd My 1st..

PreDempsey

I just wanted to share my feelings and a little bit of my story with you guys because I think this board is amazing. (especially compared to the other boards on here..)

My FI was married previously and that has been a terrible and amazing thing all at the same time. Some days I would hate the fact that he had once promised to love some one else for better or worse, but some days I look at it in a more positive light. As easily as he could swear the whole idea of marriage off, he hasn't and is choosing to go forward with me. I don't like that he was cheated on and hurt so badly but it means that much more that he is trusting me knowing how much that broke his heart. His last wedding was a huge traditional ordeal costing $20K+ which has made it infinitely easier to plan our Vegas wedding this spring. 

It's kind of crazy how everything works out the way it does and not a second before it's supposed to. It's given us the opportunity to plan a wedding for us. Not to impress friends, family, or flaunt our money. I'm so excited for our next chapter 

handfast4me

Good for you to find a good guy, and good for him on moving past the hurt.

I'm the other way 'round.  DH had never been married before, and this is my second marriage.  I sometimes wish that he had been married before; there are things I learned in my first marriage that are things I have carefully not repeated in this one. 

We did the very small wedding thing, too.  Just the two of us, on a beach--it was MUCH better than my first wedding, not near as much pressure, money, etc. 

Best wishes to you! 

right1thistime

DH & I were both married before. I think it makes it easy for us to understand that the other person indeed did love before, but that sizzled (not in a good way) & then fizzled.  Bravo to you for understanding that while he loved before, it's not something that he "used up" in his first.  Enjoy the planning, and share with us.  ~Donna

MikesAngie

Congratulations!!  Thank you for sharing your story!   And please come back and tell us about the wedding  you are planning!  It sounds like it could be a lot of fun.

PreDempsey

It definitely wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done but we're so much better for it. 

So far our plans are Vegas in April with a few friends who have told us they'd love to be there for us (we'd be fine it if was just the two of us). It's getting live streamed online so we're sending out invites to "witness our wedding." We're having a picnic later in the summer just to see family and friends and at least give our families that opportunity to celebrate with us (he is from NC, we're in NY.)  I was sort of bummed out about not getting a whole dress experience and thinking that I needed a short dress because we're walking around Vegas but a girlfriend of mine said no way there are girls in full ball gowns all over the place out there so I found my dress already. I think the dress made it that much more real to me, having never put one on and having that moment was amazing. It's taking every shred of will power I have to not show my FI the dress because I'm so excited.  I'm a serial planner and will definitely have this whole thing planned to the best of my ability by the end of the year, and considering we were engaged the beginning of this month, I'm doing great lol.

In a perfect world we would be doing this having neither of us been married before but lets be honest life isnt perfect and all we can do is make the best of what we've got and go foward.

PreDempsey

We're going with 702Weddings and it's a complete wedding ceremony, inlcluding most of what you mentioned. It'll be great just without most of the planning and stress which id definitely a win-win situation!

anssett

1. I've been to a Vegas wedding with the giant white dress. You can have ANY dress you want in the universe of dresses. 

2. I'm the second timer in our couple but I have no regrets. If I hadn't been through that first relationship I wouldn't be the woman I am today, the woman he loves more than anything in the world. If he didn't have crazy exes he wouldn't be him, and he wouldn't have been around for me to find. Love is 4 dimensional (time and space). He might not have been the partner for you before the ex-wife. Congrats on finding your love through time and space.