Have you experienced this??

NoAngelx

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_first-time-brides-look-down-their-nose-second-time-brides_.0

right1thistime

Not personally, well, except for my mother, who was very old fashioned.  I just ignored her.  There are plenty of people who will give you commentary or attitude if you tell them.  You have plenty of options in how you respond.  The icy stare of death works fine.  The "did you really mean to say that?" works as well.  The change of subject.  The "Fi and I have made the decision and will follow it through."  Just figure out how you want to handle it, and do it.  For a bridal consultant, what the responders on SB said, "Perhaps it would work better if I worked with a consultant who was more accepting of second time brides." would be fine.

2dBride

I didn't.  But then again, a) my parents weren't invited, and b) my friends have reached an age at which pretty much all the weddings are second weddings.

Avion22

I haven't personally experienced people being rude to me for having a second wedding, but I think part of that has to do with my attitude about it being no different from a first wedding.   I'm sure there are some distant members of my fiance's family who don't even know that I've been married before -- not that I'm trying to keep it a secret, just that my first husband's death is a very personal matter that I don't like to talk about with people I barely know.  

handfast4me

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romamor4

I've heard through the grape vine things that people have said to me or comments my mother or father have made which are against "doing it all over again." At first it really bothered me and I felt embarassed that I wanted to make it special and "us." We are not "do it small" people! So we wanted to do what we do best, which is have a full out party!! I've come to grips with that not being everyones idea of what a second wedding should be. As others here will say, it's our FIRST wedding together. Why should it be any less special than any other first wedding?? It makes much more sense to me now that I think of it this way. 

fireytiger

I had a few people make snide comments. My MIL was making my bouquets, and for awhile she had this attitude of "well, if they look half assed it won't matter, it's not your first marriage anyway." She ended up ditching that attitude and doing a very nice job on them in the end. I think some people just have no filter and say things without even thinking of how rude it is. You'll be getting that from folks for the rest of your life, giving unwanted advice about anything and everything. Just ignore them. I know it's hard to, I had some times where I was really upset by it. My first post on this particular board was at a time when I was very upset by all the negativity. But at some point you will learn YOUR best method of filtering out the negative, and focusing entirely on the positive, the happiness you and your FI have, and those who truly love you and are happy for you. Good luck.

MikesAngie

Like Lisa I had one vendor (the owner of a local bridal salon) who was horrid - my attitude when I left was I will have the wedding of my dreams and you certainly won't be getting any of my money - lalalala. 

Our family was very supportive as were our friends.  There was one off color comment by my sister that was ignored  -  I just changed the subject. 

Hang with us we're not so bad -  just honest.

NoAngelx

Ya yesterday again it happened! I was talking to the girls at work (2 who are engaged) about dresses and then one of the girls asked me what color dress I was going to wear since i can't wear white *sigh*

MikesAngie

I wore white - I can't wear ivory because it makes me look sickly and sallow...  

I also wore a veil, and that was a first for me as well. 

I did get asked if it was appropriate for me to wear a wedding gown, I said why wouldn't it be?  We're having a wedding, and it's a first for my now DH and I  - so why not.