Second Weddings

Frustrated with available ceremony times

We're planning on probably 75 people. Our families are small so the bulk of the guests are our friends. Well, in the world of weddings, 75 is small potatoes. Our family is ALL out of state, so we are pretty much stuck with a Saturday wedding if we want them to come. So ... one venue I really liked could only offer me 11 a.m. on Saturday or a Sunday afternoon. FI doesn't like the idea of a Sunday wedding (nor go my friends whom I polled on FB). I really don't like the idea of an 11 a.m. wedding. This venue seems to be inflexible with alcohol -- I don't want a full bar at that hour and the coordinator suggested we prepay some drinks and offer drink tickets? That just seemed super tacky to me. 

Another venue we looked at could do an evening wedding, but we'd have to start at 6:30, which seems late for a less formal wedding. Dinner wouldn't be until 7:30 or so. We could also do that same site at 12:30ish, but they don't have the same photo opps as the first venue, so we'd have to go elsewhere in the a.m. for photos ....

I know there is plenty of time (wedding isn't until 9/29/12) but I am ready to tear my hair out tonight!

Re: Frustrated with available ceremony times

  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi there! The first thing i'm gonna suggest you do is take a few deep breaths. :) Then, I want you to take a piece of paper and pen, sit down with FI, and write down all the things you want in a venue. I don't know what you're looking for in a venue or what's important to you specifically, but it's okay because this advice will still work for you.

    Once you and FI think about the things you'd like to have, find the things that are absolute deal-breakers and highlight them in some way. Sounds like a venue that will accomodate a wedding on a Saturday starting at around 4ish is one of the most important things. Remember to be flexible though, you may not get every last thing you want in a venue, but just about 3 or 4 things that are absolute musts for you. REALLY consider if the things you wrote down as wants, aren't just things that are "nice to have". Then, sit down on the knot, look at the websites for your city or county, etc. and see if you can't find a venue that can work with your needs. There are a lot of cities that have community centers, convention centers, etc. that you can rent out. Write down the ones that fit your needs best, pick out maybe like 4 or 5 of them if you can, and then start making phone calls from there.

    If you take only one piece of advice away from all of this post, let it be this: don't think that finding your perfect venue is going to happen quickly. It took me at LEAST a week of deep searching around before I found my perfect place. Possibly more. But the venue I picked was literally exactly what I was looking for, and I got it at an amazing price. If I'd stopped on the first couple of places I saw that I liked (and there were a few), then I wouldn't have gotten everything I wanted, and I wouldn't have been as happy with it. This is a decision that you need to take your time with, because if you rush into a decision with a venue, you're more likely to run into trouble down the road with it. Or at the bare minimum, you may not be as happy with your choice. I hope all this helps you, sorry it turned out so long! :) Good luck!
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    ITA with fireytiger. If you stick with your original date which is about 18 months away, you will find tons of venues. Make the list she recommends and search some more. Also, think outside the box, look at places with indoor/outdoor options (ours is an historic village with a chapel). You also don't have to have your ceremony and reception in the same building.

    To be honest there is nothing that says a wedding at 6:30 pm has to be formal....... it can always be as you want it, and if people dress up expecting a grand affair, then let them.

    Good luck.
  • edited December 2011
    cmk - not sure how old you are, so if you are still a lively young one - feel free to ignore.  Fact is, I was 44 when I got married.  Had two teens, and an elderly Mom to consider.  Planned the rehearsal dinner for the Friday evening the night before our wedding.  Had OOT guests arriving and played hostess to them on Friday.  Ran around like a fool in the days before the wedding (it is so much more work when you are corrdinating an entire family, versus just yourself!).  Slept terribly the two nights before the wedding worrying about ridiculous details. 
    The point of all that is that I was SOOOOO grateful that my wedding was at 11 am and that it was OVER by 5pm.  I was exhausted!  We all went back to the hotel, my DD fell asleep and my DS came with us to swim and relax in the hotel pool.  The thought of doing all that and staying up half the night at the reception makes me tired now, 5 years, later, just thinking about it! 
    Just my 2 cents. ~Donna  (firey gave you good advice as to how to work this out.)
  • edited December 2011
    I think it sounds like you should keep looking, but if you've exhausted all of the options, I'd go with the 6:30 wedding given that you have lots of travelers. Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with the pp's they gave good advice. Please keep looking until you find what you want.

    We spend a lot of time visiting venues and I wouldn't go with a venue until it felt "right" to me and met all of my needs.

    Keep looking until you find the venue that meets your needs.
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Before we found our venue, which also only did evening weddings, we looked at and talked to at least 30 different venues.  A lot of them wanted us to do a luncheon because with their site fee it was about all that would fit our budget.

    Our venue had the look, feel and views we both wanted. Their color scheme went with ours, and all weddings start at 5:30pm.  We were married on a Sunday and 90% of our guests were from out of town.  What we did was sent the crucial guests Save the Dates 6 months in advance so they could set their schedules accordingly. 
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies ... I know we'll find the perfect place for us. I am going to try not to think about it too much for the next few days! :)
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