Pre-Nup

DaveandRoxy

Hmmmm. I'm not sure where to post this.... So I've decided to plop it here. Maybe you ladies can help me out? This is my first (hopefully only) wedding and I'm kind of in a unique situation for my age. My car is paid off, almost done with my motorcyle payments, I have a house with furniture in it and I also have my own personal debt (school loans, blah!!) Anyhow, I wanted to know when I should talk to a lawyer about a pre-nup? The wedding is 5 months out, should we wait until closer to the wedding just in case there are any major changes to our financial situations? Or should we do it soon and just submit amendments to the original agreement if anything changes? Lawers are just so expensive, I want to have my facts straight the first time before going to see one. Also, my FI wants to just share a lawyer but I think I'd rather get my own. What would you recommend? Any tips/ suggestions would be helpful. Thanks a bunch!!

mandi195

Sharing a lawyer could make it less combattive. I had a prenup for my first marriage, and it was a disaster, the writing of it almost caused us to split up since I thought it was pointless and he was trying to protect his assets but entitle himself to half of mine. We had our own lawyers, and it took longer and was constant back and forth, which cost us more money in the end.
If you are both in agreement on everything you want included, I'd just share one, and do it sooner than later.

debbiem56

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_pre-nup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:2ad857d9-56b9-4730-a92b-21b04f70bd10Post:2f10eed7-eac4-4536-8799-479e1f8d8483">Re: Pre-Nup</a>:
[QUOTE]Sharing a lawyer could make it less combattive. I had a prenup for my first marriage, and it was a disaster, the writing of it almost caused us to split up since I thought it was pointless and he was trying to protect his assets but entitle himself to half of mine. We had our own lawyers, and it took longer and was constant back and forth, which cost us more money in the end. If you are both in agreement on everything you want included, I'd just share one, and do it sooner than later.
Posted by mandi195[/QUOTE]

Most states require that you at least consult with separate lawyers since there is a conflict of interest.  To keep costs down, though, discuss everything ahead of time and try to come to an agreement.  Make sure you disclose to each other and write down all of your assets and liabilities.  Lawyers help in that there are many things you may not think about.  And do it as soon as possible.  Not only does it give you time to work things out, but you need to avoid a situation where you are signing it right before the wedding.  That may make it appear to be under duress and invalid,

right1thistime

Agree on the seperate lawyers, and sooner rather than later.  And figuring it out ahead of the billable hours. 
Consider also any retirement plans you may each have now. 
Smart girl to protect yourself, and I wish that you never have to rely on this document.  ~Donna

MikesAngie

Separate lawyers is the best way to go, that way your interests are protected and you are getting equal representation.  I hope that you never have to rely on this document too!

DaveandRoxy

Thanks ladies! I'll set up an appointment asap! Best wishes for the upcoming weddings!

Jells2dot0

I don't post on here often, but wanted to share my recent experience. My DH and I agreed to a pre-nup up front. I then went with him to his lawyer's office, who was also working on his living trust, and we discussed everything we wanted in it together. When it was completed by his lawyer, i contacted another lawyer for myself and just asked for a consult, as we had drafted it together ourselves. The lawyer read it over, made some comments, and I chose to either accept them or ignore. Most of his comments were making sure there weren't any loopholes, but he made them under the assumption that we had a huge income disparity, which we don't. Anyway, for $275, I met the state's requirement for review and all is well! I'm not sure what my DH paid for his half, since his living trust was rolled into the final cost.