Just started planning & Question of tact

versed

Hi ladies - 

We just started planning my 2nd and his first. He was all for a DW wedding, but we're compromising with a small wedding in the mountains in-state. I like the idea of having our closest friends and family there to celebrate with us, and now that my friends are all having kids, a DW wouldn't be something they could come to. The planning has been going great, so far, and aside from my feeling the need to invite some family out of guilt/politics, we've kept the list pretty small (75). 

I have a budget question that could be seen as pretty tacky:

We found a gorgeous B&B that will let us have the place for an entire weekend for the wedding, which sounds great. The only issue is, we have to pay $5500 for the 13 B&B rooms, and that's added to the price of the wedding. Is it extremely tacky to have people pay for their rooms? Or even maybe one of the two nights? I'm not sure of the etiquette in this kind of situation. 

Any help would be appreciated. I'm really excited about planning!

right1thistime

To go ahead and reserve it, then turn around and charge your guests?  Yes, tacky. 

How likely is it that there will be some people who just come for the event and return home the same day - without an overnight?  If there are many who could do that, you could treat it like a hotel block-- let guests who want to stay reserve and pay for a room.  Typically, the couple guarantees a number of rooms to the hotel.  Some places let you undercut that if they can rent the rest of the rooms, others hold you to it.  In your case, you would be guaranteeing the whole inn.  So once the guests book what they want- you pay for the rest.   At $225/night, its pretty steep.  It's not quite summer in NH and not yet leaf peeping season either that early in Sept.  (nevermind - I just googled weddings in NH inns and that price is pretty standard.)  Although I am not sure how I would feel if I booked and paid for my room, spent almost $500, and then you had some rooms you had paid for and let people stay in on your dime - especially if I was a first tier friend or family member, and the person who stayed free was our drunk second cousin Lucille.

We did a guaranteed hotel block, but only because we knew we were paying for a room for us, one for the kids, one for my mom and one for my brother & his wife, who were taking the kids for us for a week after. Since one brother was coming from out of town, we knew at least one more would get booked, and that met our block. 

Can you keep looking? ~Donna

Solo1018

Definitely don't reserve it for them and then ask them to pay for it, that would be beyond tacky! However you can reserve the block of rooms and then allow people the option of staying there on their own dime. You really probably don't know what everyone's finances are like and that cost could be just way too much. So just be prepared that with such an expensive room charge there may be a few who opt to stay somewhere else near by or return home after the event.

versed

Ya, I totally get what you both are saying ... thanks. 

We were planning to pay for the B&B rooms and just have parents, grandparents, and bridal party stay there. A friend brought up this morning the question of having people pay for their own rooms, which I hadn't even considered. I guess we're back to Plan A, which does still fit in the budget if we cut a few other little things.