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Second Weddings

Vow renewal

Hi! I couldn't find any other board close to this topic so I figured I would come here since I am having a second wedding...just to the same person. Haha. I just wanted to get some feedback on doing a vow renewal. We were married 7 years ago. I was pregnant with our first child and we planned our wedding in one month...yes ONE month. It was absolutely nothing I dreamed of. My step mother took over and did everything. If there is one thing I regret most it's not doing what I wanted and having the wedding and honeymoon of our dreams! It's not all about the "wedding" per se but we didn't get to have everyone that meant a lot to us there. So ok here we are now 7 years later with a 6 year old and 1 year old twins. We have been through a lot over the years and love each other more now than the day we were married. We would love to renew our vows on our 10th anniversary. But we want to have the big dress, wedding party, reception...pretty much everything a wedding would have minus of course any showers/gifts or bachelor/bachelorette parties...those kinds of things. Do you think this is crazy and people would talk bad about me for doing this?

Re: Vow renewal

  • Unless you were divorced in between, it's not a second wedding -- as your post title implies, you are in fact talking about  a vow renewal.  

    This board is mostly populated by brides who are re-marrying following the death of a spouse or divorce.  So I don't think you're going to get a lot of advice on vow renewals here.

    In my opinion, it's fine to do a vow renewal on your 10th anniversary, like a recommitment after going through tough times.  But it's NOT a wedding, so the big pouffy white dress, attendants, etc.  You can do a reception, but I would recommend you not try to make it like a wedding reception with a cake-cutting, spotlight dances, etc.  

  • Typically vow renewals are more about the ceremony and less about a wedding re-do.  Meaning that they don't have all the trimmings of a wedding.  

    I know you didn't get the day of your dreams but you are married and if you were to do a full on wedding some might see it as a gift grab and not recommitting yourselves to one another. 
  • I have seen comments for those hoping for a vow renewal board.I second Retread, you are welcome here! I see no dishonesty in your celebration, no gift-grabbiness. I agree with PP re: wedding party. I am thrilled for you to be planning a ten year celebration! Congratulations!
    ~~Mendi~~ ...Everyone has their price; mine's chocolate Photobucket
  • Thank you. I would have my children in it. My twins would walk in front of me and my oldest son would walk with me. The only reason I say i want a wedding party is because my husband and I have gotten a lot of grief from our 2 best friends for not being there the first time. They actually want to be a part of it and stand with us. The only other people we would have is family members sisters and brothers that want to as well. If we would've had a big ceremony with a bridal party the first time I wouldn't even consider it. But I feel I actually owe it to all of them. They felt shorted by not getting to be there for us the first time. We planned a very short and small wedding with only family. So I guess this is not only for us it is for our loved ones as well. I feel awful for not waiting until after our first was born to have the wedding. I was pressured by my dad to be married before he was born. so now I feel like we have overcome a lot of things and still love each other more than ever. Yes of course I want the wedding that every girl dreams of and deserves to get but I will do it in a tasteful way. Of course I wouldn't do gifts, showers, daughter/dad dance, cake cutting, etc...I'm so sorry if I've offended anyone! I cannot find a board to post on and I thought this was the closest to it. Good luck with all of your weddings!!
  • I know how you feel! I am also remarrying my hubby right on our 10 year anniversary, and I think it's awesome! We didn't have a wedding the first time, just got married through court ( found out I was pregnant when planning wedding) we are having around 60 people, doing a ceremony and reception ( minus dj and dance floor) and our son will be my hubby's best man! Also skipping all that bridal shower/ bachelorette party) I say you do it! Doesn't matter what people say. You should have the wedding you want and have the people you care about most there with you by your side! Good luck honey!
  • :::side eye to idea that it's OK to have a bridal shower and Bachelorette party, or anything having to do with a PPD "do-over". ::: 

    Other than that, the vow renewal is fine.

    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • do it its all good im planning on doing a vow renewal too in 2015 as i will have been married for 15 years. my kids are doing it for us and they will be apart of it as they were unable to be at our first wedding. so they want to make it very special to us. ilove them for it  we are not doing all the parties thats for sure . but we are doing a luncheon type thing. and yes we are doing all the special dances and having a big reception. it doesnt matter what other people think it your day and how you want to plan it is up to you.
  • Congrats on 7 years and a happy family, WPhoto!

    You asked in your OP, "Do you think this is crazy and people would talk bad about me for doing this?"  I think your plans sound lovely and I would be thrilled to be a guest, but I think if you are extremely worried about it, it wouldn't hurt to chat with people in your circle about it.

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