Bridal Shower for a second marriage

AFChic00

What is the etiquette for a bridal shower the second time around?  My family and friends want to throw me one but I am feeling weird about it.  I am curious to what other ladies are doing in the situation.

Sue-n-Kevin

It depends on your situation. My fiance & I have 2 homes that we are trying to incorporate into one once he sells his house. I think we'll have a party and give things away! Just kidding. But we are planning a massive garage sale.

We are absolutely not registering for anything. We are older and don't need anything. If anyone asks what we want, we are saying that we don't need anything.

If they want to throw you one, that's great. Obviously they don't feel weird about it or they wouldn't have offered. It depends on your situation. Do you need home goods, or are you set in that area? Would a personal shower be better, so you get some things that maybe you want or need for each of you instead of your home?

I'd discuss it with the family members who are offering. They know you best. If you are struggling with the cost of your wedding, ask them if they'd like to just throw you a party and you can get a honeymoon registry or register for something else.

Good luck.

right1thistime

Like Sue said- sit them down and talk about it.  If they are so filled with joy at your new love that they want to celebrate with you- why would you feel weird about it?  If its the gift receiving that bothers you, either look into a different type of shower (they are always all about gifts), such as a ladies luncheon where everyone brings you their favorite recipe, or a book, wine, music shower (do you both like to read, are you oenophiles?, do you live and die over the latest music?).  If the gifts are the rurnoff, suggest to these fabulous ladies that what you really want is a hotel pajama party (all of you in a couple of rooms, in pjs, drinking, eating and laughing) or a spa day - pampering, gossiping and being girls together or some other fun girls only event.  
You hereby have our permission to remove the sackcloth and ashes, erase the scarlet D on your chest, and celebrate that you are getting married.  OK?  ~Donna

luckyinlove35

I am a second time bride, and my God Mother is throwing me a bridal shower. A shower was the furthest thing from my mind but she insisted on it.. There is nothing wrong with having one as long as you arent giving it yourself but that is just my opinion.. Good Luck!

LesPaul

My friends at work threw me a surprise shower.  It was a pot luck lunch with cake.  I was not expecting any kind of shower, so it was really a great surprise and very much appreciated.

handfast4me

It's Ok to have one, but if you feel awkward about it (as did I) I discouraged it.  Instead, my girlfriends and I had an evening of sitting around, eating pizza and ice cream, and drinking beer, and really had some honest moments about what each of us means to the other.  It was a wonderful evening. 

Also, I STRONGLY suggest registering, even if you don't need anything.  If you don't, people will still buy you gifts, just not ones you want.  We've had the cautionary tale of the chili pepper lamp on this board for years.  Register, or you get the chili pepper lamp. 

JenniferLuvsCandy

I also felt strange about it and put my foot down.  Instead I am hosting a girls night out.  I just want a casual night to appreciate the women in my life.  I am renting a paint your own pottery studio.  I am purchasing a full set of new dishes for the guests to paint and am catering. I will get a great new set of personalized dishes and they each get a piece of their choice to take home as well as some food and fun. (wine included)

Sloane99

I'm not having one, but that's more due to having a small destination wedding and very few are guests from our current city. I don't feel right having a shower including people that aren't going to be invited to the wedding. I may have a girls night with our mothers and wedding party/wives.

I absolutely love the quote below, THANK YOU. I think part of my "I'm just going to do this myself" attitude stems from the fact that I feel it's not right of me to enlist help or be excited about this, even though truthfully, I'm far more excited then I ever thought I could be.

[QUOTE]You hereby have our permission to remove the sackcloth and ashes, erase the scarlet D on your chest, and celebrate that you are getting married.  OK?
[/QUOTE]

sac1078

I completely understand your "feeling weird" - I am in the same boat. It bizzare conceptually to recall opening my girlfriend's gift at my first shower and then think about opening her gift AGAIN at a second one. Ugh. I do, however, like the idea rigth1thistime said above - have a shower that has a purpose where your girls can give you something specific and funky - stock the library, stock the bar, stock the itunes, your lingerie drawer! If your family and friends want to celebrate your well-deserved happiness, that's awesome.

NJ Jen

That's a wonderful quote! Thank you so much for that!

I also feel uncomfortable at the idea of a shower. But for one thing, I have lots of friends I did not have before - as well as a new family. And I didn't ask for any of this - if THEY want to do this, why would I take that away from them?