Second Weddings

Incomunicado Bridesmaids - Vent

My Matron of Honor, Maid of Honor and two bridesmaids are all women who are very dear to me. 

Right now though they are adding to my stress level, and don't even know it.  Why?  Well, two of them live in Nevada, one in Washington and one lives three to four hours away, and not one of them has been great at communicating what is going on with their dress search.  I sent them ribbons of the shade of navy that they should be wearing, I know they all received them, but nothing since. 

I totally get that they think they have a lot of time - but if we need to order their dresses plus the Fi's daughter's then we need to do that by the end of this month to have time for alterations.  I have communicated this to them - now more than once - so hopefully they understand what the deal is.

Thanks for lettng me vent.

Re: Incomunicado Bridesmaids - Vent

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I can apprecaite that, and totally understand that, I'm not asking them to purchase anything now but to at least have an idea if they can find dresses in our color in their area .  If they can then I need to start looking locally for the FI's 17 yo daughter's dress.

    If they can't then we need to figure out what style they want that will have to be ordered and then my FI's daughter's dress would be included in that order which might help costs should a discount be offered (for 5 or more dresses).  They would all need to be professionally measured so we order the correct sizes as well, getting that done in a timely manner will be no easy task.

    These ladies are not the easy going crowd it took over 2 weeks to get them to agree to look locally for dresses.   Some love to procrastinate and some have very hectic schedules, I'm just trying to make sure things don't slip through the cracks.

    I'm letting them have a chance to select their own dresses and be matching in color, I'm not dictating style or hem length.  I do plan on contributing toward the costs of their dresses as a thank you gift, since I'm lucky enough to be able to blog for my gown.
  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    While it's not necessary to order early, by any means, it's not insane.  A LOT of women have to deal with the last minute dress issues and if you can avoid that, why not do it? 

    I'm odering a dress this week for a wedding that is in September of next year.  Yes, I think it's "too early,"  and I'm planning my own wedding that is in October, so ordering a dress for someone else's wedding certainly isn't high on my "to do" list, but I agreed to be in the wedding, this is what she's asking (which is perfectly within reason, whether I "agree" with the timing or not), and it's what I'll do. 

    The "duties" of a bridesmaid and/or MoH is to get the dress, show up, and stand there.  Completing step one shouldn't be something you avoid discussing once you agree to something.

    I was/am pretty matter-of-fact about it with my wedding party.  Every one of them (including the guys) have folders with printed forms that include dates, details, contact information, and any manner of things that pertain to the weekend of the wedding.  I'm micromanaging everything about this, they all knew that in advance, and they all happily agreed to be a part of it.  I admit, I'm compensatig them all very handsomely with meals and gifts and genuine gratitude for helping make our day fantastic, but we all view the wedding party as a "job" of sorts.  You don't take a job you don't intend to do well.

    Good luck!  I hope everyone can work in a timely manner to make sure the next few months run smoothly for everyone involved.
    10-10-10
  • kimp67kimp67 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm also making my wp order their dresses very early.  I have 2 that are coming in from out of state next month & we're all going shopping together & they all are ordering their's that week!  The 2 coming in really don't want to have to deal with trying to get to PA in the middle of winter. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I had two BM that were out of state.  I sent them to David's Bridal, asked them to try on a dress and then I ordered it from here.  It took three weeks for it to get in.  The dresses need minimal alterations.  One wasn't able to get to the David's Bridal and so I estimated the size.  You have plenty of time.  Go look for the daughter's dress and pick one out. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In my emails with the ladies recently they now understand why there is a push on my end.  We live in a very small town and locally there isn't much to choose from in finding my future step-daughter a dress.  Which means we will be using a weekend or three to find her dress should my ladies decide to go the local route.  We already have to use weekends and make family trips out of selecting and ordering my gown - so our time becomes more limited. 

    If there wasn't the daughter and our location to consider, my ladies would have easily until December to pull it together, unfortunately the reality is such that they will have until September.  I'm also not asking them to purchase something they won't wear again or to bear the total expense of the dress. 

    Plus classic navy blue isn't as easy a color to find as one might think and there are a variety of tones within that color that could actually clash (too purple, too black). 

    I don't have binders with duties laid out and I don't consider their participation in my wedding a job, it's their gift to me to be here for the weekend and be a part of my day.  
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Retread, black is the color of the groomsmen's tuxs, and the shade of navy that we like will actually photograph navy we checked with our photographer about that.  We aslo don't want to mimick my baby sister's wedding her colors were black and white and her wedding was last year.

    The daughter wants to wear a dress that is similar in either color or style to the bridesmaids, her choice. I had suggested that she wear a floral print with the navy in it, but she didn't like that idea.  She will be walking in with her dad and standing with him - but she also wants a connection to my bridesmaids and to me.

    I appreciate all the advice, and I also sent an email to the ladies about the colors of the gents' vests and bow ties since they will be coming from the Men's Wearhouse and their colors often coordinate with David's Bridal color choices for bridesmaids dresses.
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    One bridesmaid has her dress... just three to go!
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Egads!  I'm so sorry you're having this stress.  I am sure it will all work out delightfully in the end.

    Thankfully, my son is my best man.  Whatever attire my FI chooses for himself (suit vs. tux) dictates what the two best men wear.  Hallelujah!!  There's one thing I don't have to even think about.

    Good luck with those last 3 dresses.  Cheers!
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think I have been driving my MOH (Matron of Honor) a little crazy - I sent her several links to dresses that were the right color recently.. Hopefully she and my other sister will get going on this soon! My other MOH (Maid) is having issues with her boyfriend of two years but will be here in Sept. Guess what we're doing?  Uh huh she and the FSD will be going dress shopping - if nothing else to shut me up! LOL
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