Small wedding trying to make decisions- please help!

NYChick

I am a bit confused right now- I would appreciate your fresh perspectives and advice on my situation!

My boyfriend and I moved across the country together last year. Almost none of my family and friends are close by.

We are in our mid thirties, this is a second marriage for me, we do not want to spend a lot of money, and also are both shy and not really into having anything big.

However, I do want to have a wedding of some kind, would like to have my closest family and maybe a few friends (less than 30 people probably).

I have already offered to host my family for christmas, so we thought of getting married on New Years day, so that no one would have to pay to fly twice, and they could be with us.

But then I came to the realization that I really don't want to wait six months before we start tryign to get pregnant ( my bf agrees with this), nor do I want to be pregnant during the wedding.

What should I do? I know my family's financial situation, and it is unlikely that all of them would visit us twice in six months.

Any suggestions?? Thanks!!

suzieharris

I know the planning would be difficult but what about having the wedding where your family and friends are?  Or maybe meeting somewhere in the middle.  One other idea is to have a destination wedding (if budget allows).  Most people take vacations during the summer months.  Maybe if you found a place not so expensive everyone could enjoy in your celebration and have a vacation.  I'm rambling but ...if you continued with your plan of the New Years wedding and started to conceive, say in September you should be fine with not looking pregnant if that is your concern.  (If this is your first child)  You are marrying because of love and you want to bring a child into the world.  It really doesn't matter if it before or after you're married. 

2dBride

If you just want a small ceremony with your closest family and friends, you could fly to where they are and get married there.  It is perfectly possible to plan a wedding long-distance:  we planned a MA wedding from DC.

Planning long distance does mean that you won't be able to control every aspect of the wedding.  We, for example, never saw our venues until we arrived for the wedding.  Thus, our decorations had to be ones that a) could be carried up there in our car, and b) could be adapted to whatever we found there.  For example, an aisle runner was out, because we had no idea how long the aisle was.  We had the reception following the ceremony at a nice restaurant, and just made the assumption that they decorate for guests 365 days a year, and could manage without our direction. 

However, if you can stand not having control over the minutiae, you can have a nice wedding with the people who matter most to you, early enough so you can get started on the getting pregnant thing.

littlepumpkin

If you really want to start trying to get pregnant soon, you could fly down there and do a small ceremony in somebody's backyard within the next three months or so and have it picnic style..to save money...or you could just wait until New Years.  If you aren't a big drinker, being pregnant may not be a total deal breaker....you shouldn't be that big if you get pregnant after September.  Also, it took me over a year to get pregnant with my first child.  Some get lucky and get pregnant on their first or second month, others take over a year and longer at times....so even if you start trying, it may take a while.  You could also get married now...just you two and use New Years for a reception?  Just another thought....

kimp67

You could "elope", get married now where you two live, then plan a reception for your family & friends on New Years'.

NYChick

Thanks for all of the tips! These are good ideas, and I'm going to think about them some more.

Thanks everybody!