Second Weddings

Wedding Gift question

I'm just wondering if there is a protocol about giving a gift for a second wedding?
We got married this past Saturday (!) and several of our good friends did not give even a card. It's totally fine with me- we actually don't need much and some of them had gotten me an engagement present- but I'm just wondering what the "rules" are about this?

Re: Wedding Gift question

  • 2dBride2dBride
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, it doesn't really matter whether it is a first or second wedding--some people will not bring gifts.  And others will be horrified at the idea of attending and not bringing a gift.

    Our wedding was a first for NotFroofy, but a second for me.  I personally would never attend a wedding (first or otherwise) without bringing a gift.  However, we took the attitude at our own wedding that we would much rather have people attend without bringing gifts than to stay home out of embarrassment out of not receiving a gift.  If nothing else, this tends to avoid the insanity engendered by trying to figure out why people didn't bring something.  ;-)
  • Avion22Avion22
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    I think I would be a little bit disappointed if people didn't at least bring a card.  I understand that not everyone can afford a gift, and that you never EXPECT gifts.  But how hard is it to stop by the card aisle at the grocery store, spend two dollars on a card, and write a few heartfelt words of support to the couple?   Yeah, I'd be disappointed if people didn't even bother to bring a card.....
    DSC_9275
  • edited December 2011
    Some people have very different views about the "rules" that you reference (that don't exist).  People who were thrilled in our marriage came, celebrated, wished us well, and brought/sent neither a card or gift.  We did not keep a tally, and enjoyed & appreciated what we received. 

    Two good friends of DH gave us gifts 8-12 months later.   Still within the realm of acceptable, etiquette wise, and we were excited about them. 
    I went to a wedding where the couple did the "your presence is our present, no gifts please".  We brought a card, some brought gifts anyway.  ~Donna
  • edited December 2011
    Like everyone else said, there is no "rule."  We just recieved a wedding gift this weekend and we were married in June...sometimes that happens too. 

    I'd never attend a wedding and not bring at least a card, but people don't always treat us the way we treat them (or the way we'd like to be treated).  Be glad that they came.
  • annarb26annarb26
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    Thanks. I am very thankful everyone came- it was all the important people in our life. 
    I guess I was just surprised at a few people who did not even bring/send a card. I just wasn't sure if there was etiquette about this.
  • edited December 2011
    The want a quiet ceremony with close family and a few friends and then maybe a dinner after, not a reception with dancing. I guess what I'm looking for is ideas and etiquette suggestions for second weddings like this. I've honestly never attended a wedding for someone who's been married before.If some one has the suggestion,can seggestion me.The good suggestion are all welcome.
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