Getting married the second time around!

gr8tasian84

 Hello ladies, 

 I'm wondering if anyone else here is is getting married after the lost of your first husband? 

 I lost my late husband four years ago(I was only 23). He was in the Army and deployed in Iraq that time. It was the sadest day of my entire life! Never thought that it will happen to me. 

 

 After a couple of years I tried dating some other people. Went out a couple of times but it didn't work! I told myself I will stop dating and I will never ever get married again.... Until I met a nice, southern gentleman!! He knew my past and he was okay with it! After a year a 3 months of dating he proposed and I said YES!!!! 

 He is in the Air force and going to a four month tour(third deployment) next month! I know y'all think it's crazy to marry another service man! But, who wouldn't fall in love with a guy who understands you and your past and always there for you to make you happy!! I cannot wait to marry my bestfriend and my hero! 

 So I would love to hear your opinion and maybe share your story! 

Thanks ladies and have a wonderful wedding planning to us!!! 

Scarlet Starlet 31

I don't think it's crazy.  Your heart wants what it wants, being in the service or not doesn't matter.

I didn't lose my first husband, we just divorced.  It was a bad relationship.  He was the first person I ever dated, so I didn't understand how a real relationship worked or what love really was-I thought it was putting up with his comments about my weight or him talking down to me-I thought everyone put up with stuff like that from time to time and they just dealt with it.
I vividly remember us going out to dinner with his cousin and some woman walked by and he said "Don't you wish you looked like that" (I'm a large girl) and his cousin's jaw hit the table and she shouted "You can't talk to her like that!!".
That was the first moment it ever dawned on me that stuff like that shouldn't happen in a relationship.
He blamed us not being able to afford our own apartment and therefore living with his parents not on his lack of a job, but on the fact that I was "too fat to fit through a door" (this was during a fight, not all his comments were that blatantly mean). 

So, after a year of trying to make it work and getting no reciprocation from him, I had enough and I left.

I met Tony about six months later, and he's shown me that being in adult relationship means give and take, means compromise, means work, means communication, and most importantly, it doesn't mean putting up with someone treating you like I had been treated.  He's shown me the love, respect, and honor that goes into a real relationship. 
So, I am quite sincere when I say that I never knew what love was until I met him.
I was telling my friends how blissfully happy I was with T and our relationship, and one of my friends emailed back an Oprah quote "Love isn't supposed to hurt".
Touche.

cdroses

Although I'm much older, I'm also a widow, who is a second-time bride.  My FI and I have known each other since high school.  He was the most supportive person, when I lost my first husband to a heart attack.

If anyone gives you grief for moving on with your life, they need to be put in check.  The vows you said were "until death."  That doesn't mean until YOU die!  My sister is not being supportive of my second marriage at all.  As far as I'm concerned, I don't even want her at my wedding!

Are you crazy?  No.  You are human.

handfast4me

I've been married twice, to two service members.  While I didn't lose my first husband to death, I did lose him in that he was injured in the line of duty.  It was a head injury (as well as back, and his leg was broken in 21 places).  I hung on (in sickness and in health) but eventually, because the head injury changed his entire personality, he wanted to move on, and then wanted to date other women.  I finally gave up on the marriage (12 years AFTER the injury) and we divorced.

So, I meet a guy in a bar, and guess what? He's a disabled vet, too.  No head injury, but dang.  You just never know, and life has a funny way with these little twists and turns, doesn't it? 

I am sorry for your first loss, but so happy you found love again.  And thank that guy for his service, thank YOU for your sacrifices.  I know how tough it is to be a military "dependant" and I admire you for doing it again. 

toniaz

I am also a widow.  My husband passed away in 2005 - we had been married for 7 (difficult) years.  About two weeks after he died, I found out I was pregnant.  I now have a wonderful 5 year old son.  Being a single parent is hard, and I just didn't have the time or energy to be in a relationship.  I honestly didn't think I would be married again.  Not that I was against it or didn't want to, I just didn't see how it would happen.  Then I met my fiance'.  We are getting married next month (9/24), and I can't wait.  I think it's wonderful when life gives you a second chance.

brooks55

Gr8,
I'm a widow as well - lost my husbandsuddenly in Dec 07 having been married almost 10 years. He was only 43 and it was due to a prescription drug reaction - just a horrific experience.

I'm marrying in 3 weeks(9/24) to a wonderful man I met last year. He is divorced and is so incredibly respectful of my past llife and of my late husband's memory.  I get to be a stepmom to a great soon-to-be 8 year old boy - we get along so well.

So yes, we are very lucky women - to have been able to open our hearts again and allow ourselves to be loved.
It really is a wonderful thing!

RepeatBride

gr8tasian84 - What a heart warming story -- did you all end up getting re-married before he deployed?

I am looking to do a reality series with 2nd time brides. I am based in the NYC area - where are you?

Sara

gr8tasian84

In Response to Re: Getting married the second time around!

gr8tasian84 - What a heart warming story -- did you all end up getting re-married before he deployed? I am looking to do a reality series with 2nd time brides. I am based in the NYC area - where are you? Sara
Posted by RepeatBride

Hi Sarah, 

 Yes, we are now happily married!! YAY! We got married a month and a half ago and it was perfect. We live in Washington State right now but my husband is currently deployed and coming home on January.