Not my second wedding but..

Caitlin192

My fiance and I are getting married (first marriage for us both) but we have a little girl who will be 22 months at the wedding. We have no idea what to do with her that night. Anyone we trust to have her  overnight will obviously be at the wedding and drinking. She does go to daycare but the woman who runs it is my FI's mother's best friend so she'll likely be there as well.  She's never had a babysitter other than daycare, friends, and family. She really hates large crowds though, and the wedding will be 175+ so it's possible she won't come. Our daughter will be with FI's parents during our honeymoon but I'm getting a little stressed out over her care that night. 

Lisa50

I am unclear on the time period you're stressing about ... Is it during the wedding and reception or overnight, following that?

Sue-n-Kevin

Based on the facts as you layed them out, I suspect someone amongst your guest list is going to have to suck it up and leave early to take your daughter with them for the night.

My opinion (as a mother to 2): Keep her with you during the ceremony & start of the reception. Kids have a way of making weddings fun (IMO, I know there are a lot of people against kids at weddings). At some point kids become more resilient than you think they are, and they adapt. She may not like crowds now, but when she sees happy people around her parents she may surprise you.

Then, when it starts to appear she is not adapting well, or it's her bedtime, the person decided upon, your volunteer, leaves with her and she spends the night with them. If it's all about your daughter's well being, I suspect someone who loves and cares about her will not mind missing a few hours of a reception. If it's before dinner, get them a boxed meal to take home.

Good luck.

right1thistime

I am not a big fan of young kids at weddings (22 months is very young), but what Sue n Kevin said sounds fine to me.  Do you have a responsible sibling, cousin, or friend who is not a big party person?  Have you talked to your Fi's parents about this?  If they are planning on keeping her for your honeymoon, they may already have a plan.  

Bottom line is this, she's your responsibility.  So...if there's no one who will be safe & sober enough at the wedding that you trust to care for your daughter, then either you or your Fi will have to be that person.  It's my wedding day doesn't trump the responsiblities of parenting.  You are exceedingly fortunate that your in laws are taking her for that length of time to allow you the luxury of a honeymoon.  ~Donna

coopsbaby

When I got married the first time my son was 16  months old. Even though he was a very shy child he was fine during the ceremony and the dinner part of the reception (we sat him at the head table between us). Then, before the dancing my younger sister who was 16 and not into tht sort of stuff took him home to my parents house for the rest of the night. Is there someone there who will probably leave earlier, maybe grandparents or someone? 

Another option since you have a bit of time is to find someone new who can babysit for her once in a while so she can get used to them before the wedding. They could help you with her during the ceremony and dinner, and then when she gets tired they could take her for the night.