is it wrong to have bridal shower for second wedding?

meenee

I'm not for sure if I should have one or not. I need some advice. In 95 I had a small bridal shower and was married at the courthouse. Then was divorced in 2000. I've been with my fiance since 07 and were getting married this October. It's his first marriage. I was always under the impression that you don't have one for a second wedding yet people are telling mee that its been 15 years and its ok to. help!

melissamc2

Bah.  This is my third wedding and I'm having at least 2 showers (one in each country) and a bachelorette party.  New marriage, new celebrations.  Your second husband shouldn't be celebrated any less than your first!

Congratulations and good luck!

LesPaul

No, it's not wrong to have a shower for a second wedding, as long as you don't throw it for yourself.  My co-workers had a surprise shower for me, and it was very nice.  Completely unexpected, and I was thrilled they did that for me.  Same with registries - fine for second weddings, as we could all use some upgrades to things we already have, or maybe wishlist a little.

ohwhynot

Personally, I don't feel comfortable accepting a bridal shower.  This is my 3rd marriage, though, (fi's first), and we're middle aged.  A shower, while offered with the best intentions, just felt unseemly to me. 

arv266

I wouldnt say that it is wrong, but more a matter of your individual preference.  I think we can safely say that there truly isn't anything that you cannot do in a second wedding.  If family and friends plan a shower for you, and you want one, then its beautiful thing.  However, I agree with PP and feel that it would be inappropriate to ask for a bridal shower.  

2dBride

I don't think it is wrong.  We didn't have one, but then again, neither of us could think of anything we would like less than a party at which the main entertainment was opening presents, and having to be properly enthusiastic about the fourth toaster or whatever we got.  We did have two bachelorette parties, one at a Korean spa and one at a restaurant with an arcade.

I do agree with others, though, that you should never ask for a shower, or worse yet, get upset with your wp if they don't have one for you.

meenee

im not asking for one. as a matter of fact everyone else is telling mee that i should have one. personally i didnt thik it was right to have relitives/friends to give mee a wedding gifts again when they didn 15 years ago with my first marriage. however. my sisters and friends are saying that i should let them have one for mee. being that its his first time getting married and that its been 15 years since mine

melissamc2

I know you're being really thoughtful of your friends and family, and I think that's great.  I just want to play Devil's advocate for a second:

15 years ago.  FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.

People get birthday gifts EVERY year.  Some people get an anniversary gift yearly.  You're really going to feel bad about two gifts in FIFTEEN YEARS for choosing to marry someone? 

Enjoy the shower they want to have for you.  The money they'll spend on it would only be wasted on fast food and a movie that week, anyway.  This is far more fun.

GenieM27

Melissa, I love your post!  I think if your family and friends want to do that for you, let them.  It's not very often we get together with family and friends to share something so special as your upcoming wedding!

Tmama29five

Hey, if you feel sort of weird about the whole thing you can always include language such as "don't worry about gifts, we're just giving you an excuse to party!" have fun with it, it's not like you're being greedy... it's just part of the celebration, and if you did it for the first guy (who wasn't right), then why on earth wouldn't you celebrate your heart out now that it's all about Mr. Right?