Second Weddings

I need all the advice and help i can get!!!!

This will be my second wedding. i was married when i was 21 to the father of my son. it was horrible and our divorce took longer than our marrage. it was a small ceramony in vegas with just our mothers, brothers and son, and i paid for the whole thing (trip and all). i have now been enaged to "The One" for five years!! we originaly decided to put the wedding off and buy a house. we did that. then we decided to have a baby so the kids wouldn't be that far apart in age. we started looking into reception halls, bought our invitations, ext. then we found out that we were pregnant again. we said after the baby's born were getting married for sure....nothing is going to stop us! now we have no one to help us out with anything. everyone says how happy they are for us but, nobody seems to want to talk about it or be involved at all. i can't even talk to my mother. we want to have the wedding that we both have always wanted. a ceramony and reception with about 150-200 people. we had two family members that offered to help us out with money a little bit and now wont. we have enough for the wedding and reception but would not be able to pay for flowers, a photographer, and a couple other small things. i have been trying to explore every option and i feel like im justr going in circles. if anyone has any suggestions or ideas or can help me out in anyway i would be so greatful!

Re: I need all the advice and help i can get!!!!

  • snowbunnymegsnowbunnymeg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What kind of wedding are you wanting? It's possible to have a decently large wedding without the "big wedding" price tag. I'm an "on-the-side" wedding planner (was with the ABC for 6 months before it became a rather expensive hobby, lol) and love doing things with "creative budgeting" :) The venue where I'm getting married can seat up to 100 people (not your 150-200, but, it's still something) and they charge $850 for the facility rental. If you found a place similar in price (also, have you considered local or state parks? you can often use them for a wedding if you reserve it plenty of time in advance; they may charge you a small fee), your budget would be freed up for other areas where you're lacking... you mentioned flowers, photographer, etc. If you need some more ideas, I'd be glad to help :)
  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes you cannot count on others to pull through, if its not in your hands then you have to plan accordingly. I am a budget and DIY bride to be. First you need to set a budget that is reasonable for you and FI. Find the most important details to you and FI that you want to spend money on.

    You may have to cut down your guests list has that will be your major expense. My FI and I talked about this part of our wedding planning and we both agreeded that we would only invite those who were closest to us has a couple and were part of our lifes. Seriously are all these 150-200 guests that involved in your lifes?

    For instance I will cut out any kind of favors what so ever, I will DIY my STD, invites the WP bouquets and bouts, centerpieces, table numbers, guest book,cardbox. Limited the guest list. You may check out the Budget bride board they are very helpful over there.
  • edited December 2011
    Thank u so much for ur input. I have a different outlook on some issues now. The first thing that I am going to do is cut the list down. There are a couple of halls in mind that we are going to look at soon that seem to be in our budget. I know more after we have our taxes done. Thanks again
  • edited December 2011
    No one owes you a wedding.  You've made decisions as to how you would spend YOUR money (house and children), why would you think that having done that, other people should then pay for the things that weren't on your priority list? 

    If you would please type real words, your posts would be much easier to comprehend.  ur instead of your is textspeak, and not even exactly right at that.
  • edited December 2011
    right1thistime Grow up... You had no right to jump on her about her typing/texting. That's a hateful thing that juveniles pull. She has a legitimate question that many of us have been through. So, Grow up or Shut up.

    As for your question, we have been there. Family says they will help, but when it comes down to it, they are no where to be found. Look into Halls like the Eagles, Elks, etc... places that maybe very inexpensive and have the capabilities to cater also. I know the local Elks here is $300 for the Hall, and then catering is based on amount of people and what you want. They also allow your guests to use the bar on site, and you don't have to pay for the alchohol.

    Flowers can be as simple as you can afford. I have allergies, so I am going with silks... I spent $400 for all my centerpieces, halos, pomanders, bouquets, bouts, and corsages. When I priced it for real it was closer to $1500-$2500. And when I am done, I can sell any of them online that we don't keep.

    I have a good friend that is studying photography in College doing my pictures. She did my son's senior pics, and they were wonderful. You could check with your local college or university and see if they have a photography class. You usually have to have them printed, but Ritz does a wonderful job and is inexpensive and quick.

    So, see, there are alot of things you can do to cut costs. Heck, I am even making my own wedding dress and all the girls dresses. The cost of materials for all of it is only $300.00, saving over $4500+. But I'm a seamstress, so I have the capabilities.

    Go to and look at the DIY stuff you can do.  Hope it helps.

    Reverend Becca

  • Cricket127Cricket127 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi!  Believe me I do understand where you are coming from and I'll try to help out.  :-)  I too, am putting together a wedding on short notice!!

    First of all, catch your breath and perhaps go for a walk to cool down.  Perhaps take a pad of paper/pen with you and see where you might get some ideas (they do come when you least expect them to).  Flowers--perhaps see if there is a park or a florist who is about to throw some out that you would like to incorporate into your wedding.  Perhaps a friend has some that could be spared?  Then again, Mother Nature sometimes oblidges and just let your creativity take over.

    Photographer--is there a good friend who is good at this?  If there is one, perhaps it can be a gift to you.  Ask the reverend/priest at your church if he knows of one in the congregation who is a good prohotgrapher.

    Hope this will be of help to you!  Best of luck!
  • edited December 2011
    I feel that becoming a DIY bride, is right up your alley. Becuase that and smart budgeting is your best solution and you'd be surprised at how many fun projects you can find online to help you out. Hey, your new hubby-to-be can even help you out. Get the kids involved. It will be fun! Best of luck sonoracrazy in reaching your goal and in having the wedding of your dreams. :)

    All our best to you other couples out there, as we hope your wedding event is just as lovely as we hope ours to be. Many happy blessings and a here's wishing you a very blissful future together. ~ JnT Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
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