My 2nd His 1st

Annie71009

This is my 2nd wedding, and his 1st.  Just wondering what is appropriate for the size of the wedding.  Also curious what you all think about who to invite of the people that came to my first wedding.  Do I act as if its my first, and whoever wants to come that I invite will, or just stick to family and close friends??  I just don't want people to think I am rude!!

Please Help!

melissamc2

You invite the people that you and your fiance want to share the day with you.  It really is that simple.

Don't "act" like it is your first wedding, behave as if it is your only wedding to this man.  He (nor you) deseves no less than the previous wedding got, including guests, excitement, and whatever else you want to throw in.

This will be my third marrige, and my fiance's first.  Our guest list is now around 200.  I suspect about 140 will attend, as many are out of country.  Several of the invitations went to people who were at my first and/or second weddings.  They are my friends, they've been my friends through all of the marriages and divorces, and it'd be odd to not invite them to this next phase in my life simply because they'd been around for the others.  In fact, people who have been around for the ups and downs in your life are usually the ones you WANT at your wedding.

Do what you the two of you want.  "Rules" for something as personal and meaningful each individual couple are absurd.

 No book or list will factor in YOU,  and your life, so you have to do that yourself.  Good luck and congratulations!

mjjewell

I am absolutely on the same page with melissamc2 ... this is my first wedding and my fiances second. He is constantly reminding me that this is our ONLY wedding, and it needs to be special, for both of us. I think you need to just keep that in mind all the way through. As long as you and he are happy and comfortable, that is all that really matters.

LesPaul

Hi Annie!  Ditto PPs.  Do what is comfortable for you and FI with regard to everything, and don't worry about any 'rules' - they don't exist.  Put your first wedding out of your head, or you will start comparing things and make yourself nuts.  It doesn't matter what you did the first time around - if there is something that reminds you of the exH, then don't do it - you can change it without any explanation or justification to anyone.

Invite who you want to invite, and wear what you want to wear, and plan the day you and FI want to have. 

thealphabride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_2nd-his-1st?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:57d6a8bc-5c79-4ffe-9dbb-590a7a279c9cPost:063da1c8-a969-4386-a1e4-ac19ef453213">Re: My 2nd His 1st</a>:
[QUOTE]You invite the people that you and your fiance want to share the day with you.  It really is that simple. Don't "act" like it is your first wedding, behave as if it is your only wedding to this man.  He (nor you) deseves no less than the previous wedding got, including guests, excitement, and whatever else you want to throw in. This will be my third marrige, and my fiance's first.  Our guest list is now around 200.  I suspect about 140 will attend, as many are out of country.  Several of the invitations went to people who were at my first and/or second weddings.  They are my friends, they've been my friends through all of the marriages and divorces, and it'd be odd to not invite them to this next phase in my life simply because they'd been around for the others.  In fact, people who have been around for the ups and downs in your life are usually the ones you WANT at your wedding. Do what you the two of you want.  "Rules" for something as personal and meaningful each individual couple are absurd.  No book or list will factor in YOU,  and your life, so you have to do that yourself.  Good luck and congratulations!
Posted by melissamc2[/QUOTE]

This is so well stated Melissa! I agree 100%. I was just telling fiance today how many of the ladies seated at the family tables or in important places at the wedding are the girls that were there for me through all the ups and downs in life. The abusive first husband, the baby, the separation, the divorce. Those were very very hard times for me and those girls (women) were right there for me through it ALL. When courage lacked in me they provided it and propped me up.
 
I am having a special dance called the "girlfriends dance" to commemorate my lifetime friendships wtih these women. Because GOD FORBID should anything bad happen to me again, they will be there for me, and I for them.

Annie71009

Thank you all so much for your input!!