Child support and weddings

harjess

Since my FI lost 2 months of work years ago and is paying back $700 in arrears do we have any business getting married and going on a honeymoon? He makes payments, and had always been on time with any other support his child just turned 19 a year ago but is paying the back child support. I just got real sad that someone said that to me today.

timsflower81

$700 in the grand scheme things isn't a lot of money in the world of weddings.  Is there any way that he can pay off the balance once and for all so its not hanging over your heads?  I don't believe that it should have any bearing on whether you get married or not but your financial situations should be a major factor in what kind of wedding/honeymoon you do have.  300 guest wedding versus 20 guest wedding - honeymoon in the Caymans versus somewhere you drive to for example... Is there anything that you could possibly scale back to get it paid?  I imagine it would be a huge burden off the two of you as you start your lives as husband and wife.    Congrats on your upcoming wedding  

My fi is currently paying 600 a month in child support which was a major factor for us in the type of wedding we're having.   If he owed back child support as well - I would have made sure it was a priority to be paid off prior to spending our money on our wedding.  Everyone is different though.... 

right1thistime

If after "years" of paying back the arrears, he still owes money, I would question your discretionary funds capacity available to pay for any party.  Do you have money saved for an emergency?  Do you have all your day to day expenses up to date?  Do you have health insurance & life insurance?  Do you have a plan for retirement?  All of those things are necessities, an elaborate wedding celebration is not. 
You can certainly have a wedding, all that requires is a bride, a groom, an officiant & a license. 
~Donna

harjess

This is from a long time ago, his child support stopped last summer so this is just the back pay he owes. Our wedding is for 40 people and our honeymoon was in Mexico. We are pretty good off it's just a monthly thing and it's paid every month.

hismrsoneday

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_child-support-and-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:5825df6d-757a-4d2f-944b-ef371052202ePost:89e94e24-ad63-4a42-9346-cebffc9adafa">Child support and weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Since my FI lost 2 months of work years ago and is paying back $700 in arrears do we have any business getting married and going on a honeymoon? He makes payments, and had always been on time with any other support his child just turned 19 a year ago but is paying the back child support. I just got real sad that someone said that to me today.
Posted by harjess[/QUOTE]
I saw that post....sorry, sometimes people do not think before they post.  Don't be sad....

j-harvey

I would judge if someone prioritized having a party and going on vacation more than supporting his child. I don't understand enough about back child support to know if this situation is more like not paying off a car loan early which i wouldnt judge or more like not supporting your child.

BeachBride1216

People are going to judge, it's what they do.  If he's making payments and his now adult child is happy with the arrangement, what's the issue?

To me $700 seems like such as small amount that it might be a good idea to pay it off before planning your wedding and honeymoon just to get it out of the way but that's for him to decide (or you as a couple since his child support expenses will affect your finances as a couple once married.)

Should I pay off my $83,000 student before getting married?  How about the $5,000 balance on my car loan?  If the child was still under the age of 18 and needed that money right then I would be harsher and say pay up ASAP but it seems he had a valid excuse for being behind and if he is doing what he's supposed to do then you shouldn't feel guilty for planning a wedding and honeymoon.

kmmssg

I am with beachbride.  I have received child support and I have paid child support.  If this child were a minor and your FI had not been paying child support regularly while you guys were spending like lottery winners I would say you should reconsider your plans.

From what you have said, I think whomever is being the Judgy Debby Downer about your plans should be left out of any further wedding plan discussions.  There are bitter people in the world, this person sounds like one of them.