Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!

najor04

Ok... So here is the situation.. This is the second marriage for both my FI and I, and I've seemed to have run into a problem, and was curious to see everyone's thoughts on it... Fist let me give you a little bit of background about our wedding.. We are getting married in a small chapel at 3pm, then at 7pm we are hosting a cocktail party with hot and cold hor'douerves.. We are holding the reception at an FOP hall. We are not having assigned seating and actually have rented a couple of high top bar tables for people to stand around and drink/eat! Now, here is my question.. Has anyone specified on their invitation "No Gifts"?? My future mother-in-law is very adamant that we list that on our invites because it is both of our second marriages.. just curious to see what everyone's thought were!

husweetpea

This is a second marriage for both my fiance and I.  I asked the same question because we are actually asking people to travel about 4 hours for our wedding.  My fiance thinks we shouldn't register, but everyone that gave me feedback said that people will want to buy you gifts weather it's a second wedding or a tenth.  So I am planning to register for a few things to upgrade.  I'm not listing it on my wedding site, but if people ask, I will tell them where we are registered.

right1thistime

^what she said is correct. In addition, it is in poor taste to mention gifts on a wedding invitation at all.  If your fMIL would like to share that thought by word of mouth (and that is INDEED what the two of you want) she may do so. 

However, I think your fMIL needs to MHOB. ~Donna

handfast4me

Donna is correct.  To mention gifts at all on an invitation is not proper etiquette.  And HUS did exactly the right thing, and what most of us here have done; register for an upgrade or replace things that are wearing out.  Many people, your friends and family, and possibly co-workers will want to share in your happiness and show it by giving you gifts.  Better you should register and get what you want rather than wind up with the dreaded chili-pepper lamp.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but apparently it didn't go with the bride's decor, and because the giver is a frequent visitor to her home, she must display it.) 

Sue-n-Kevin

RE: seating. I agree with what's been said, you really need to plan on having seating, whether high bar seats or chairs at a table.

RE: Gifts. Everyone is also correct. To mention them at all (even if not desired) is poor taste. We didn't need anything and did not register. We received 3-4 gifts (silver photo album, a wind chime, home made garden stone) from close friends and family. Everyone else gave money. Even if you don't expect or want them, the word needs to be spread by mouth, not in writing.

Come and introduce yourself on the Detroit board. Nice bunch of ladies.

Lisa50

Honestly, I think "no gifts" written on an invitation is in very poor taste.  We did not have a registry and have no regrets about that.  We received a few gifts, some cash but most people gave us cards.  That was just fine.