Are there similarities?

MandyLovesMarc

between your first wedding & your second wedding?  My first marriage lasted just under 5 years.  It was a fall wedding.  My FI and I have been engaged since March...lol, but we're finally starting to work on planning.  We bought a new home between then and now, so we've been really preoccupied. 

At any rate, what I'm wondering...did you have similarities between one wedding and the other?  For example, I was married in the fall, so I'm pretty set against having a fall wedding now, because I don't want to have anything similar. 

Marrin713

My first wedding was in 1979 - so no, no similarities except for some guest overlapping

ETA:  Remembered something:  H and I each had our first weddings in winter months, so neither of us had any interested in December or January.

Lisa50

Nope.  Other than some guest overlap and the choice not to wear a "bridal" gown, most things are working out differently.  In 1992, I married in October.  Next year, I'll marry in July.  First time, a full mass in the Catholic Church.  This time, at an historic inn with a Protestant minister (my cousin) officiating. 

And ,,, in a turn of events only to be experienced by many of us on this board ... first time, I was pregnant with my son; this time, my son will be my best man.  Isn't life grand?

SoSaysTara

For me, my first wedding was when I had just turned 20 in 2006.  This next wedding will be in 2012 when I'll be 26.

Given that there are only 6 years between the weddings and many of the fashions are the same, I am actually really worried about this.

We're planning on getting married the same month that I was married in before.. it's just the most convenient for us..

Granted, we're having an entirely different type of wedding.  Way more fun, way more focused on guests.

2dBride

My first wedding (in 1977) was in a synagogue, and I had a luncheon in a restaurant as my reception.  The basic outline wasn't that different this time.  The ceremony was in a synagogue, and we had a luncheon in the private dining room of a restaurant after the ceremony.

However, in most respects, my first and second weddings were quite different.   My first wedding was in June.  At the time of my first wedding, I was working full-time and going to law school three quarters time.  I was quite happy to leave most of the planning to my MIL. There was no DIY involved. The invitations were engraved, and there were no programs, menus, etc.  We invited everyone in the family up to first cousins (and in some cases, first cousins once removed), a total of about 80 people, but very few personal friends.  There was a rehearsal dinner at a restaurant the night before for all OOT guests.  There was open bar for an hour before the luncheon, then wine with lunch.  I assume there was a cake, but I don't even remember it.  There was no music or dancing.  Although in theory we had a pro photographer, he disappeared after sending us proofs.  Thus, the only photos are a few amateur ones taken by family members.

At the time of my second wedding, which was in October, I was self-employed and my wife was unemployed.  Since we paid for everything ourselves, we decided to do massive amounts of DIY, including invitations, programs, and photo sharing cards.  We provided accommodations to all of the ceremony guests for the night before the wedding and the wedding night.  The rehearsal dinner was pizza delivered to the house where everyone stayed.  At the ceremony, we had only a dozen people, consisting of immediate family and a few close friends.  There was no cocktail hour, but restaurant staff were instructed to fill all our guests' drink orders at our expense.  The overall effect was that we got a lot of time to spend with an intimate group of close family and friends.  And we have some gorgeous professional photos of our getting ready, the ceremony, and all our guests.

In addition, we had an at-home evening reception for my second wedding.  It included about 60 of our friends (no family).  We had a live musician, dancing, and a DIY fauxtobooth.  We had a delicious cake baked by my wife.  Almost all our vendors were personal friends.  The club owner asked to borrow our musician's guitar, and sang a song traditional in his family for weddings in our honor.  It ended up being a very relaxed time with people whom we chose to ask--no dubious uncles who "had" to be invited.

right1thistime

First wedding in 1984 - in May, Catholic ceremony in my hometown, reception in a VFW post - dinner served family style, 225ish guests (up to second cousins) live band (bad music), lineup of bridesmaids/groomsmen complete w/ flower girl & ringbearer, dollar dance, cash bar, cake with candles!!!, silk flowers,  honeymoon in Acapulco -- 100% paid for by ME (not one red cent from xH). 

Second wedding in 2006 - in July.  Christian ceremony in a non-denominational historic church in the town where DH's family has a summer home, cocktail hour with passed hors d'oeuvresand reception at a lovely seaside restaurant- fabulous plated dinner with menu choices, 70 guests (only one of my first cousins - he's married to my MOH &best friend), DJ with selected music, just MOH & BM and our two kids as maid & groomsman, choreographed first dance and a dance with our kids - no other "special dances", open bar, gourmet cake, stunning flowers, honeymoon on a cruise to Alaska - 100% paid for by US- split downt the middle.

Oh - and I wore a hat in 1984.  In 2006 I had hair jewels from Claire's.  Still a beebee at 44!  ~Donna

handfast4me

Nope, not at all similar.  In 1985, I wore a 40s style, tea length satin dress (I had it custom made by a seasmstress)  and birdcage veil (I see they're all the rage again!), in a church, with a champagne and appetizer reception at my folks house, about a medium sized guest list. 

 We had a Pagan Handfasting  for our trial marriage/engagement, full on casting of a circle and calling quarters, in Scottish dress. Here in the Bible belt, we couldn't, by law, use that as our legal wedding.  (And they say there's no religious discrimination in this country?)  For the 2008 legal wedding, we were on a beach with the officiant, no guests and no family were present, we wrote our entire ceremony, and it had a decidedly Pagan flavor to it, with the cakes and ale ritual.  I wore a store bought, long, greek inspired ivory dress, sterling silver arm band and sterling silver barefoot sandals, he wore linen pants and shirt.  It was MUCH more romantic and meaningful than the 1985 ceremony witnessed by hundreds. 

LesPaul

Nothing similar.  First wedding was a JOP in 1983 with strangers as witnesses.  We had a backyard reception later.  Second wedding had 85 family and friends in attendance, held at a B&B with a Pastor as officiant. 

I was influenced in choosing the date, however - my first was in May, and DH's was over TGiving.  I wanted a different season/feel to our wedding, and nothing close to the original dates, even though it had been many years since either of our first weddings. 

thealphabride

Nope, not similar at all. First was in the courthouse in '95 to a douchebag I divorced 2 years later. No guests.  I was pregnant and trying to "do the right thing" it turned out to be a very very wrong thing to do.

After 6 years of single life, concentrating on raising my son and working on myself,  I met the man of my dreams. I dated and married him 6 years later in Sept of 2010 in a beautiful formal outdoor ceremony with 95 guests and a reception with cocktails, dinner and dancing.

We just celebrated our first married Christmas together.

carrolli

My first wedding was in 1982. I had the full Catholic Mass and the big fat Italian wedding reception, with all of the trimmings, in the heat of July.

For this wedding, we are having a DW in Vermont in the fall.  Other than a few guests overlapping there is nothing similar at all.  Our October 2011 wedding is small, intimate and biker themed(with a touch of casual elegance).  We will have our marriage blessed in the Catholic Church(I have had the first one annulled.) some time around Christmas of 2011. 

We do have several songs on our "Do Not Play List" that were included in our first marriages.  : )

NZbride2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_there-similarities?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:5a4c8672-8941-4b81-9068-e715e52f6fa3Post:1ef94829-4041-42fc-8f44-c12527a4172d">Re: Are there similarities?</a>:
[QUOTE]For me, my first wedding was when I had just turned 20 in 2006.  This next wedding will be in 2012 when I'll be 26. Given that there are only 6 years between the weddings and many of the fashions are the same, I am actually really worried about this. We're planning on getting married the same month that I was married in before.. it's just the most convenient for us.. Granted, we're having an entirely different type of wedding.  Way more fun, way more focused on guests.
Posted by SoSaysTara[/QUOTE]


I'm in a similar situation as this.  My first wedding was in 2003 when I was 22, and now I'll be 31 next year when my FI and I get married.  Totally different month for us though, so that helps.  I am worried that there will be a lot of other similarities, but there won't be that many similar guests because most people won't be able to make it as we are getting married overseas.  It's about us and we're doing what we love, so that is all that matters.

squarepeg72

FIrst wedding - December 1992 - I wore my mother's wedding gown & we had a maid of honor & best man. Mom handled the entire reception and mostly college friends were the guests. We got married at the church on campus and had the reception in the church fellowship hall

This time - June 2012 - A very good friend is making my dresse and my children & his (well, they are really his bff's kids but he has helped raise them) will be the wedding party. We are doing and paying for everything. It is an outdoor wedding with the reception following just across the lawn

MikesAngie

No similarities at all!  My upcoming wedding is to my best friend, the love of my life and someone I have known since we were 15.  Only a little bit of guest overlap.

debi1941

I am in the same category as MIKESANGIE, I have known my husband to be since Jr High School and I am most definitely    marrying the man I was supposed to marry many years ago...he is my missing link of happiness in life...he is the most wonderful man I have ever met...he is my soul mate, my true love......

As far as similarities, absolutely none.....my first marriage in 1988 was literally planned by my mom and the nazi wedding coordinator she hired...I had no say so what so ever......

this time it is all me and Andy!  

hgough1979

Hopefully there will be no similarities at all.

First marriage was in a courthouse, took maybe 30 seconds and I wore jeans.

I was young, stupid and very confused about what love really is.

10 years later (I'm 31, he's 29)  we are having a small wedding with mostly family and a few close friends in the church my family has attended for as long as I can remember.  I am wearing a dress (not a big expensive "wedding" dress, more of a destination type dress) and we are having a reception afterwards.  

snibbor

 There weren't any similarities between my weddings. I wanted to make sure that they were as uniques as the relationships. First one was on the beach in a warm sunny climate, barefoot, groom with white pants and shirt, and I in a light white breezy dress . Second one was in the mountains with snow, groom in a tux with me in faux fur! Of course I suppose its up to the individuals involved. I recently stumbled across pictures of my first husbands second wedding. On the beach in a warm sunny sunny climate, barefoot with white pants and shirt. The only difference was the face of the bride LOL

jkgreen78

I see nothing wrong with having silmilarities. My FI and I have had lots of weird "silimarities" in our relationship. It's my second marriage and his first. I let him make a lot of the decisions. He proposed the same time of year as my xH and we are getting married the same month as my previous marriage. Both dates were picked by him, without knowledge of the dates previous meaning. I figure, this is OUR story. So what if there are similarities, we have what was missing before, respect for each other.