including late husband's family in wedding

kap+2

Anyone out there going through remarriage after being widowed?  I am literally closer to my late husband's parents and extended family than my own mother.  My father is also deceased.  Other than a sister, brother-in-law and an aunt and uncle, and mother, that is all the family I have.  Is it weird to have FIL wear a boutonniere and my MIL wear a corsage like my mom?  Is it OK to have them sit with my mom and rest of family?  My fiancee is totally fine with late husband's immediate family and extended family being there.  Now, FIL, on the other hand, is barely dealing with my impending wedding.  Lots of issues as his son committed suicide. 

I just want them to know that they will always be my family no matter what and not just because I'm the mother of their 2 grandsons.  Any advice?

right1thistime

Do what you and they are comfortable with.  Anyone who judges deserves to sit at the rejects table!  You deserve to be happy, and it sounds like your in laws support your wedding. 

Both my parents first spouses had died. I am their oldest child together.  My Dad had children with his first wife, only one of which survived.  My Mom had no children.  My Dad stayed connected to his first wife's family, in part because of my brother. My father's first wife's sister and her husband were my parents' MOH & BM.  That same couple were my middle brother's godparents.   I grew up with a family that had three "sides", my Dad's, my Mom's and my brother's family. In many ways, I was closer to my brother's  family than to my father's side of my family.  My first wedding, they all came & celebrated with me.  They were wonderful and supportive of my Mom when my Dad died.  

Weddings create new families.  You created a family with your first husband's family that didn't necessarily dissolve with your first husband's death.  Keeping them in your life is a blessing, and you should cherish it. ~Donna

mmhepb

My FI is including his former MIL and FIL in the wedding.  His 1st wife has been gone for many years.  FI's former MIL has actually been very helpful in the planning process.  

So speaking from the point of view that your FI might have, I'm totally fine with it.  I LOVE FI's former in-laws, and they have been very accepting of me and my girls.

2dBride

My ex-husband and his sister were at my wedding.  And we had a memorial to my ex-husband's parents (both of whom died the summer before my wedding to NotFroofy) in our programs.  Do what works for you and for them, and don't worry about "the rules."

Hays2be

My DH was a widower.  I met his SIL for the first time at our wedding.  We invited his parents in law, but they couldn't make it.  I consider them his family.  His wife had two (now adult) children and I now consider them my stepchildren and as such, they were invited to our wedding.  If my oldest stepGD had been able to make it, she would have been the only member of my wedding party as I would have asked her to hold my bouquet.

If you want them there, invite them.

vexie

I just married a widower in June.  His late wife's parents were invited and treated as parents (listed with our parents in the program, seated by my hubby before his and my mothers were seated and placed at a table near our parent's table).   They are closer to my hubby than his own family and have embrace me fully into their family as well. 

If you FI is comfortable with it... I say go ahead and invite them