Second Weddings

Dressing the Wedding Party

We're not a huge wedding party and since my wedding will be small and casual. So my FI will have a best man (his brother) and groomsmen (his bff), I will have my maid of honor (my bff) and two bridesmaids (my 2 nieces, they'll be both be 14 yrs old at the time). The guys will be renting suits and with my ladies, I've decided to let them pick their dress but it has to be fushcia, one of my wedding colors. They are purchasing their own dresses, so I wasn't trying to be fussy. But it looks like my fashionista nieces are just going a little wild. I love them so much, they are a joy to me since I have no children. But some of the choices are just wild to say the least, oh to be 14 again. But I want to tell to tone it down a little and not be mean about it especially since I'm not paying for a dress. I'm wondering how I keep them reigned in a little with the choices and still let them be themselves.

The Future Mrs. Berg

Re: Dressing the Wedding Party

  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm with you on that one! My daughter will be 16 when we marry next year (same day as you!) , and she has a style sense all her own, LOL. I'm allowing my BM to pick out their own dresses too, but in black.

    I'm torn in how to answer your question, because on one hand, I guess it's great that they have some style sense, and should be allowed a little freedom; on the other hand, it may be WAY out of line with your vision. My daughter wants a short dress, with lots of tulle in the skirt, and she wants to wear something black on her head with a birdcage veil, black feather flower, stuff we've seen around in our shopping trips. It's not my style, but I also want her to feel accepted for who she is.

    I guess I'd say you might want to set some boundaries......"this is OK, this is not OK". The other thing I'd say is that it's waaaaaaay too early to be buying anything. If they like fashion, you may want to remind them (as I've reminded my daughter) that styles change, and probably waiting until next spring is best. I think they may be talking about what they'd love to wear (not for a wedding), and then they'll tone it down closer to the wedding, as I suspect my daughter will as well. The seriousness of the occasion, and how they "fit in" will hopefully ultimately win out.
  • edited December 2011

    I agree with Sue - set some limits on what REALLY matters.  (My mantra with children - is this the hill I want to die on?)
    So hemline, degree of clingy-ness or tightness, cleavage, pattern (yay or nay), beading/sequins/sparkles and level of formality are all appropriate limits.  14 y.o girls need that kind of guidance anyway.  Some 44 y.o. bridesmaids do too, of course, lol.  ~Donna

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    emmitchell, I agree with Sue and Donna they have some great advice. 

    emmitchell and Sue I'm a little jealous though, I can't get my 17 y/o DSD-to-be to even think about her dress, and she vetos styles left and right...  She's also just coming into her own style wise, so she may change her mind half a dozen times more before she says yes to her dress.

  • emmitchellemmitchell member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice. It is a little while till the wedding and my nieces are just so excited about being in it. I'm not planning on just flat out saying, 'good lord that looks hideous' but I'll take the advice and try to lead them in another direction. And the advice to let them know that yes by next spring the style will have changed will at least give them something to think about, they are my brillant nieces. My niece from California, her name is Montana sent me a photo the other day of possible dress and I was my eyebrows went up. LOL. I told her it was nice but reminded her that where this wedding is taking place, it will be hot and the dress looked a little uncomfortable. Since reading these, I think I'll just send them websites and dresses to consider. I want them to stay individuals and not look like they might wanna hit the club after my wedding LOL.
    The Future Mrs. Berg
  • AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    You might want to plan a "girls day out" with them - make some appointments at bridal salons, and have them try on some dresses - let them know firmly that you have final refusal on all dresses. 

    I just turned 40 and I think back to my "sense of style" at 14 -------ooooooooo, scary scary!

    Anniversary
  • emmitchellemmitchell member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank  you for the idea but unfortunately both of my nieces live in different cities from me and different from each other. But I'd certainly do that if I were all in Seattle.
    The Future Mrs. Berg
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards